Doing only YOUR BEST that day!

From Left to Right (Martha Arifin, David Coster, Jenny Kuo, Rhonda Osman, William Cownie, Lisa Aifantis and Ralph Rintoule).  Just amazing awesome people that I am lucky to be surrounded by!

From Left to Right (Martha Arifin, David Coster, Jenny Kuo, Rhonda Osman, William Cownie, Lisa Aifantis and Ralph Rintoule). Just amazing awesome people that I am lucky to be surrounded by!

I wish to dedicate this article to a secret anonymous fellow who I have a high level of respect for and a group of fantastic people I work with in the photo included!

In working with all of them and reflecting on myself, it has given me a strong level of appreciation for by all means PUSHING YOURSELF HARD but also accepting and realizing that regardless of what we do or say to ourselves, one can only do their best on that day!

In my life these days, I am very happy to have got all the junk out.  Even a month or two ago, this person just used me for years and I took steps to protect myself from them and keep them from harming me more.  Now, I am surrounded by THE RIGHT people and surprise, surprise  my life is totally awesome and I am very grateful (after putting up with just rubbish for years).

In talking to this lovely man who shan’t be mentioned, it got me reflecting on how much pressure I put on myself.  Similar to my friend Jenny Kuo and this fellow, we are the type of people who although are successful – at times, we put plenty of “Negative Pressure” on ourselves.

This goes from Motivating, to purely Destructive often resulting in Burn-Out, Lower Productivity and putting aside money when I say this – your life just sucks at times!

In terms of Sales & Marketing Especially – this is important in that if you are say getting into your business, you can only push yourself so hard and try so much.  Even though we (especially me) like to think we can control people when it comes to selling, you just can’t! All you can do is put yourself out there and see who takes you and take it from there.

Of course, the more you put yourself out there the better but if you are “Stress-Heads” like us, sometimes we just do our best – then we keep whipping ourselves to no-avail.

From the Secret Person I spoke to today, it really occurred to me when it comes to pushing yourself.  You can only do so hard, so if you are doing your best – accept the results that come your way and pat yourself on the back!

Wish I learn this one years ago – would have made me far more productive and happier!  Go Hard, But be nice to thyself! Hope you enjoyed the read and thank you for taking the time from Edward Zia – Resurrected Marketing Mentor.

Positive Thinking and Getting Shafted by a “Positive Person”

Was she not being Positive Enough? Of course not and we got to be on the guard for scumbags trying to rip us off!

Was she not being Positive Enough? Of course not and we got to be on the guard for scumbags trying to rip us off!

OK get ready to have a good laugh at my expense!  The other day I got shafted by an ex-client who ripped myself and a friend off who was working with them on their business.  Interesting I worked with them ages ago and they were “OK”, but this time they went down the evil, unethical path and would probably be the person that would enjoy stealing $1 from a homeless person to put in a pokie machine (i.e. “slot machine” if you are reading this from North America).

Quite sad actually, we used to quite like this person but they did mean things, after mean things and there is nothing but to conclude that they are an “evil person” who is just trying to rip everyone off.  I am not too worried, I got a long paper trail and a debt collector is now after this person hopefully to dispense some badly needed justice.

In terms of “positive thinking” and all that rubbish, I am enjoying considering situations like these looking at them through that prism.  That is, in “positive thinking” there is no such thing as traffic, bills, problems, poverty and everything is rosy.  This obviously (besides being delusional) sets one up with a level of naivety that people like “evil person above”.  The evil person above (let’s call them “Jane”) enjoys positive people.

Why does “Jane” like that? Because she can get in there, take advantage of them, clean them out and just move onto the next target.

This is where positive thinking has got to stop and when you see a ratbag like this taking advantage of people, you apply “negative thinking” with extreme force.  Not to just protect yourself, but you have to stop these people.  If you don’t do something to punish them, they will just move onto the next target and the next.

When the debt collectors finish with “Jane”, she will certainly think twice about ripping me and my friend off yet again.

In fact, I got badly ripped off again late last year by this certain person as well.  It hurt, it was painful but like all things – it makes you tougher and although I wasn’t in a position to effectively retaliate on this one, I could certainly take care of “Jane”.  For the person that nailed me last year, I am going to have to leave this in the hands of Jesus / karma / God to take care of them.

So positive thinking huh? Obviously it doesn’t take much logic to completely debunk positive thinking and unfortunately there are a lot of scum-bags out there. So protect yourself my friends! Be trusting, but be careful.  Look after those that need it and punish the wicked.

Dodgy, evil positive thinkers deserve punishment so hit them with a round of negativity for me!  Hope you love this one, feel free to drop me a line anytime if you got some stories to share!

The Requiem of Positive Thinking: Part 2 – The Recession

Just be more Positive? I don't think so - a fate suffered by me twice and many good honest people that deserve better!

Just be more Positive? I don’t think so – a fate suffered by me twice and many good honest people that deserve better!

I had a fantastic meeting with one of my colleagues and we both come from a “corporate employee” background and become business owners.  We were comparing notes and take out a few differences in circumstances, we basically have a very similar story:

– Brought up with the “employee” mindset, work hard, get a good job, good grades and do whatever your boss wants.

– Keep doing that over and over again.  Don’t work on businesses as they are risky.

– Get noticed at work and get that promotion.

Well, I know I am speaking a pretty solid message these days and this old mindset is obviously kaput in this modern, “Post-GFC” world.  One point we really clicked was employment conditions prior / post the GFC and the start of the world-wide recession.

The reality is that whatever power was in the hands of the employee has drastically swung to that of the employer. Pre-GFC things I think were much more balanced and as an employee one had some rights and quite a few options, but these days the job boards suggest it’s the other way around.  That is, for every job – there is an endless line of recruits available and employers know it! I find small businesses are much better at looking after their workers, and this is more aimed at the corporates – i.e. they are pure economic machines and they churn and burn innocent workers as need be.

When we compared notes about our histories, we found some great commonalities of experiences – one point that really resonated was the line you may have heard:

“The world is tough and we are going through cut-backs.  You are very lucky to be here, wages won’t go up like they used too and you need to work harder.  But consider it a privilege that you have a job and you should be happy.”

Wow.  This is quite profound.  Before you think I am on a communist style rant where we are all entitled to jobs, no I am not a communist and believe in capitalism and free enterprise.  But we have both heard this line almost exact word for word and to be it has some scary connotations that tells us where the employment world has gone.   It’s a disturbing trend whereby we are working harder, for less money and only getting poorer as time passes.

There is an obvious shift in our economy which has been trending like this for a while and is  even more dramatic – the workplace isn’t the safe haven it once was and it’s going from the “two-way employment” type scenario to an obvious “master / slave” relationship.

After one of my worst employers ever personally screwed me over – they served our relationship with this basic line “well, you chose to work here, you have options and I can do whatever I like to you”. To me, many are hearing this more and more and where I went wrong in my life was indulging myself in “positive thinking” – that is, instead of reading the signs and understanding the degradation of the corporate workplace (except for a few employers which I think are great!) I went all happy clappy positive like the positive thinkers tell you to do. I wasted a good 5 – 8 years of my life doing this and they are some years I am not getting back.

In my own personal death of positive thinking my lovely colleague is in the similar boat – i.e. having many of their own “One held truths” being killed off one by one in a sad, but completely objective and factual manner.

Hence the requiem of positive thinking for many of us – I think it can be a great means of escapism but like any drug – it’ short term effects are overtaken by dramatic consequences that are not only painful to ourselves, but our families.

So, I have been obviously “very negative” here, but tell me – do you think I am wrong? I would doubt it big time, to me this reinforces my thinking – by admitting that things are screwed, it puts us in a position where we can do something and get some powerful results.

It could be working hard for another job, starting a business, moving departments, studying – anything, i.e. playing the hand we are dealt and creatively working through it.

The big trick to this is that the “wrong” companies will basically beat you up, keep your self-esteem love and get you believing why you should hand over your dreams to them and not take any action to improve your situation that is against their own selfish (and at times) purely evil agendas.

So my big lesson after surviving this and meeting other people is hang in there, ignore everyone and “listen to yourself” – biased advice from the wrong people is certainly not there for your benefit!

Hope you enjoy this one! My thoughts are coming together as I write these articles so feel free to leave a comment or visit me at my business website.

Thank you for taking the time to read this – Edward Zia thinks you are awesome!

Sickness: Positive Thinking isn’t making me feel better?

I reckon Positive Thinkers like being stuck with big Syringes.  Visualize that one!

I reckon Positive Thinkers like being stuck with big Syringes. Visualize that one!

I know I should take it easy, but if you know me – I can sometimes push myself just that bit too hard and get myself sick. I am fine now, but I crashed a bit yesterday and should be full health and nice and ready for work by tomorrow.

A running joke has been lately that if you visualize positive stuff, your mortgage pays itself.  So far that hasn’t manifested and as I am sick right now – I was reflecting on some stupid and real “lame” positive thinking stuff I have seen about ones health.

I have seen totally BS and extreme claims that if you are “positive” about your health, it will be perfect and you will never get sick.  This is the whole “visualization” thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate visualization, but it’s made out to be the bees knees and is totally over-rated.

If positive thinking is so great, then if I visualize now me sickness will completely recharge? Of course it won’t, but then positive thinking pushers will say “Ah Ha Ed – I got you, because you don’t truly believe it, it won’t happen”.

What I am finding is working for me is actually “negative thinking” right now.  That is, yes I am sick – I need to take it easy, I need to rest otherwise IF I DON’T I will get worse.  So there you go, negative thinking is good for my health.  Hope you enjoyed my rant! I better get back to bed now and recover.

Perhaps I will get delirious and do some positive thinking!

The Positively Negative Gym: Ripping me off no more!

OMG - She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

OMG – She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

If you know me or have read my blog in more detail, you have probably figured out I am actually quite a positive thinker.  I don’t mean in a “visualize $2000 and my mortgage pays itself” in 30 seconds type of delusional thinker, but in a more:

– “Bad stuff happens, What do we do with it?” type of mentality.

Most of the fantastic people I work with agree with me and we all don’t like negative people! Does me attacking me make me negative? Probably! 🙂

I had a very interesting one today and recently.  I was (well still am until my notice clears out) a member of a very large gym which has outlets all across Australia.  When I first joined them, they were always “slightly snooty / snobby” but there was some nice staff that made the difference.

Over my 4 years of being with them – they seem to get worse and worse (talking all outlets across Sydney).  They would have “less time” for me, treat me poorly, never say goodbye to me when I left (even when I would initiate), charge me like a wounded-bull and then they closed my local gym! (Surprise, Surprise they were going broke).

Compared to some other gyms around town, I have noticed the morale of their gym’s to be down.  The staff were not happy (in defense of the staff, I read online they are treated like crap – so can you blame them?), the people there don’t seem happy at all – and no one is talking or interacting.  It’s actually quite a lonely place.

In a strict contrast, I have visited JB Hi-Fi stores or even Telstra stores which are happier environments that I feel good when I leave (whether I purchase or not).

In the context of this blog, what really got me about them was their amount of advertising and it’s all “so happy”.  That is, everyone is walking around miserable (including yours truly), they have mean messages on the walls saying things like “you must do this”, “you must do that”- and the personal trainers there at times were mean and wouldn’t even say hello back to me after saying hello first (expect for a couple which were really nice).

This got me thinking about the whole purpose behind me writing this blog, my fatigue of people who are really negative and in it for themselves (quite often money) pretending to be positive and it not working!

As of this morning I cancelled my membership at their location and I feel great.  Even though they have probably tens of thousands of paying members, they at least don’t have my $22 a week anymore! I would rather donate it to the Salvation Army and do push up’s at home than know it’s going to mean people like them.

My advice to you! It’s not always possible, but only do business with people who you love and love you back.  Life is too short to waste in mean people, especially those who are negative but pose as “positive thinkers!”

Positive Thinking: Running across a busy Road is OK?

You just suck and need to be more Positive! (NOT) :)

You just suck and need to be more Positive! (NOT)

That certainly appears correct.

If you look at all the “positive thinking”, “visualisation”, “think it and it will come” stuff out there it sounds really good in theory. Fear is bad, fear is terrible – and it’s just a “mindset thing” that needs to be overcome.

In taking this thinking to the extreme, to me – ignoring or “overcoming” your fear is not very intelligent.

Let’s say you walk up to busy motorway or freeway.  There are tons of cars going at 100+km / hour.  If you just watch you probably won’t feel any fear, but then let’s say you think about crossing it.  You then start feeling scared.

So let’s look at this two ways:

1) You get scared – then you think, hmm – I really need to be bloody careful here! If I don’t cross at the right time I will get run over.  So hmm, I am going to watch the traffic and wait for a safe spot.

2) You get scared – then you think, hmm – I am dis-empowering myself and I need to be more positive.  My fear is just an illusion and I need to be more abundant.   I am just going to have faith and cross the road.

So this is the great thing about positive thinking! Whatever happened to realism?  Am I advocating just submitting to ones fears and not taking intelligent risks? Of course not – I am all for that, I just think this positive thinking hype has gone to the unintelligent extreme and is mostly used as a rip off tool!

From Edward Zia, thank you for taking the time to read this.  I wish you the Awesome best out there!

The Fat Life Coach Telling me to Lose Weight: Part II

Don't need to eat properly or do exercise, just be Positive and everything will be fine! :)

Don’t need to eat properly or do exercise, just be Positive and everything will be fine!

Lately I have been working “My Butt Off” (pardon the pun) to really get my eating under control.  Even though I consider a fantastic Business Person / Marketer – I have always suffered from additions throughout my whole life.

Unless I am always applying conscious effort, I tend to start eating whatever I want again and “Pork Up” if I am not careful!

Anyway, I am going quite well in doing things the right way – and it reminds me of how hard addictions to break.

I find some people just don’t suffer from addictions and they don’t get it – but if you are like me and have that “Nature about you” I am sure you can relate.  This situation got me thinking about the “Fat Life Coach” I always love talking about.

Now before you think “Ed is attacking fat people”, no way – I can’t do that as I am currently overweight! (and even when I was slim I didn’t do that) But I am attacking hypocrisy in general – this Life Coach I know is extremely overweight and whenever I see them – I get lots of “Fantastic Advice” on how to lose weight.

This person worships Positive Thinking as their god and takes quite an extreme view that all Negative Thinking is “Bad” and a result of society brainwashing us.  A good discussion to be had there, but it’s fair to say – that is person can’t control their own weight (let alone is going out on limb trying to pretend to be an authority on this topic).

When I put on lots of weight, I felt bad.  And what I realized in hind-sight was that I was subconsciously using “Positive Thinking” to make myself feel better.  For example, ” I am not that Fat”, “I still look good”, “I am just getting older” and all these positive statements to justify why it’s fine.

So in other words, Positive Thinking made me fat! This insight made me think about our overweight life coach friend – they are using the same approach to their mindset that I was and look at them!

So please watch out for not only hypocritical characters like above trying to claim they are something they are not and take your money – but also not listening to so called “Negative Emotions” are telling you! If you are nice and healthy, please don’t make my mistake – and if you got into a bit of health trouble like I did, just admit it and do something about it!

The Mean Positive Thinker using me and Spitting Me Out!

We will get you, Evil Positive Thinkers! You can't push us around forever :)

We will get you, Evil Positive Thinkers! You can’t push us around forever!

This one happened to me a short while ago, as I am still relatively new in business (only about 2 years) it was quite upsetting at the time – now I find it funny, amusing and a great battle scar / war story to share with my clients and friends alike.

I had a great one of this “Positive Thinking” lady who just knew everything and lead me on to scam me for a few free hours of consulting.  She would sit me down, tell me everything is wonderful and even during the meeting tried to ask me to “Do it for Free” or do a “Profit Share” if things work out for her.

After spending a good hour or more there – I knew she certainly wasn’t a nice person, let along anyone I would want to work with as a client.  I left her office thinking “No Way”.  They then took all my ideas, spoke to another Consultant and signed them up.  What hurt even more, was I knew this other person that even knew what was going on – and encouraged that mean woman to screw me over.

I didn’t want to work with them at all, but the pain was more about how they just screwed me over without any regard and with complete malice.

What was funny now about this whole process was the whole “Positive Thinking”.  This woman gave me a lecture on how great positive thinking was, how awesome she is – and unless anyone thinks the way she does – they are total losers.

What was funny was that she was in poor physical health, I bet lacked friends and wasn’t doing well financially at all (despite working hard to convince me otherwise).

So what is this trend? Why do all these people who use Positive Thinking as their religion usually come across as self-centered like this?

After thinking this through and see dozens (if not over 100 examples) of this play out over and over again, I think “Positive Thinking” leads to selfish actions.  For example, if you say do something bad to someone – and you “Feel Guilty” let’s say, that guilt is great as it motivates you to look at yourself, correct that behaviour and improve your giving capacity.

Know this is where great Positive Thinking comes in – instead of using the guilt to serve you, you can make yourself feel good with tons of Positive Thinking.  Then you are done – no more guilt feeling, you feel great – so now it’s time to screw over some other person and take their hard earned cash of them.

Even though part of me wants to publicly name this person, it’s not how I roll.  But you bad person, if you ever read this blog – I hope you change your wicked ways! Or you rip off the wrong person who will change your wicked ways for you!  Don’t let Positive Thinking twist your ethics!

Positive Thinkers are Evil? Plenty of Proof!

Unethical and Evil Positive Thinkers Love being hit with Baseball Bats :)

Unethical and Evil Positive Thinkers Love being hit with Baseball Bats!

With my latest attack on extremist Positive Thinkers who enjoy self-gratification over ethics, honour or contribution – I have had an interesting run this week in talking to various groups about a “Certain” Network Marketing Organization that frequently breaches the Trade Practices act (where its members consistently mislead and disguise the purpose of the meeting in order to con people into it’s Pressure Cooking meetings).

By the way, I have nothing against Network Marketing – I am actually a member of several myself (as end users) and they are great.  I am talking about one malicious one in particular which you would know all about.

When I just started my business, some real mean person mislead me into a meeting and then when I was there, the Positive Thinkers played on my insecurities every bit to force me to join their cult.  I have told this story across Sydney and what is very scary, is that I only meet dozens of people who had the same unethical stuff forced on them.

What is worse, is that the organization is still around terrorizing people – and they are all endorses and lovers of “Positive Thinking”.  So let me get this straight, if you do something bad to someone and hurt them – Positive Thinking is obviously a useful tool to make themselves feel better again?

So if you are a victim on an organization like this, make sure you get out of there – and if you find someone doing this type of unethical action, hit them with a base-ball bat for me.  I hear they love that!

Positive Thinking: Lowering Confidence and Questioning Yourself?

Positive Thinking sent me insane! And it probably will you too!

Positive Thinking sent me insane! And it probably will you too!

From my previous posts, you have no doubt picked up I emotionally knocked around a bit the previous week.  Nothing serious – but it was an event which hit on a nerve of mine since childhood.

Strangely enough, the event is no longer the issue -it’s been my emotional response to it that has been! After “Coaching Myself” and thinking it all through – I actually tried a bit of “Positive Thinking”.  Ha ha and while you are reading this and laughing at me for the obvious contradiction / hypocrisy I have engaged it, it really has reinforced my view here.

Emotionally I was going crazy, i.e. reliving the event, churning myself about it and all that type of thing.  Whenever I used “Positive Thinking” to wish myself better and focus on the “Good Stuff” it actually made me feel worse.

That is, until I confronted the issues in my own thinking and dealt with them in a Realistic way, it kept driving me crazy.

That is the big issue of positive thinking and why many highly regarded and trained Psychologists speak out against it.  It causes you not to deal with your issues, but to let them fester and create more of a problem.

I confronted some of my own childhood experiences (and early Corporate Days) in which I used to feel bad and always thinking “I was loser” and nicely empowering things like that.  Well as I write this post, I am doing exactly that – looking at myself “Objectively” and taking out all the negativity from the past this experience brought up in me. So here is my big advice / lesson from this one, don’t be a positive thinking nutjob! Identify the issues in your life and deal with them! Head on – deal with it.

Then you will be “Truly Positive” and not projecting your issues onto everyone else!

Positive Thinkers who Screw you Over – then expect you to like it?

I am up for a rematch anytime you Positive Thinkers that shonked me!

I am up for a rematch anytime you Positive Thinkers that shonked me!

The world is an interesting place and I find the older I get the more I reflect about it.  As you can probably tell by now – I have a thing against “Positive Thinkers” and the whole industry of corruption that is based on conning people to part with their hard earned cash to purchase “Positive Thinking Products”.

These positive thinking people prey on quite often I find intelligent people who are having a rough time in their lives and want to achieve more.  The instant quick fix of “Just think positively and visualize” even tempts me at times.

Many organizations that use Positive Thinking to control it’s members (and have a “Cult” like view in the broader community) I find can be quite powerful in screwing people over, but then convincing people they should like it.

The negative experience I had last week really got me thinking.  I placed my trust in a few people (but I was suspicious at the start) and they used and abused me.  So what? People get screwed over all the time, but what I find fascinating is that they can live with themselves.

This is where Positive Thinking can become quite dangerous in that people like the ones that did me over can do very questionable stuff, but then “Positively Justify” it to make themselves out to be okay with.   This is obviously not a new concept, we hear of people doing some pretty dark things out there and then having justifications that to them seem quite reasonable but bizarre to the wider community.

My own view that I have formed over the last few years is that if your “Gut Instinct” alarm goes off (as mine did with these characters) keep that in mind.  It turned out it was greatly correct in this situation.

If someone screws you over, but all means – don’t let it eat you out or knock around your own self-esteem (as it certainly can a bit), but then don’t be naive as well.   Make sure you protect yourself against them and be aware! If you turn your back on them – they will come and get you!

The Positive Thinker who just shafted me – I attracted it?

You Won this time Dodgy Positive Thinkers! But there are many more rounds to go!

You Won this time Dodgy Positive Thinkers! But there are many more rounds to go!

You are going to have a good laugh at my expense – and why not? A Positive Thinker just did.

Even though I am still regenerating my poor (and probably oversensitive ego), I am starting to find the humour and laugh at myself over what happened.  If you are in a Sales Profession like myself or run your own business – dealing with Rejection is part of every day of your job.

When I first started, Rejection was almost “Soul Destroying” whereas these days, I am entering the “Oh, well – part of the game” type of mindset.  The truly brilliant business people actually feel no pain with rejection which I think is great (and what I am aspiring towards in my own psychology).

Without boring you with the detail, I met this character who became my best friend and was keen on hiring my services.  I was a little suspicious of them (as people who are too friendly always get me asking questions) and donated quite a bit of time to help them get going and assess the services I provide.

They decided to select another Consultant – fair enough, all part of the game.

The bit that ruffled my feathers though and added more proof to my view of “Positive Thinkers” is their blantant disregard and devaulation for the work I did for them.  I do see this person and they didn’t even thank me for it.  They just told me and moved on!

Not very nice and what I find funny about it all – is that they are a “Positive Thinker”.  Yes, they told me how great positive thinking was and you just have to be “Positive” and then they “Positively” shafted me”.

The next level of humor I find on this is another Positive Thinker I know.  They said that everything that bad happens to you, is because you “Attracted it”.

Yes you guessed it boys and girls – because I entertain a negative thought here and there I deserve what is happening to me.  What, so sitting there and visualizing millions of dollars each day, starting at a Tony Robbins Poster while watching the Secret is meant to turn things around?

So here is up yours to two people, 1) The person who shafted me last week – hope you learn your lesson and repent and 2) To Positive Thinkers.

Most of these extreme Positive Thinkers have a consistent trait:

– Doesn’t matter what I do, or whoever I do over – as long as I am Positive all will be great.

Hmmm.  Not very nice isn’t it?  If you are a Positive Thinker reading this blog, I bet you are bashing on the keyboard hard right away! Well, I look forward to your responses Positive Thinkers – Game on! And as for you dodgy person who shafted me and mislead me into proving you a big chunk of my time – I hope you either repent or get what’s coming to you!