Working on my own Trust & Loneliness Issues – Getting there!

The awesome Joel de la Cruz done up in Japanese Style.  He is ironically a cool Filipino guy :)

The awesome Joel de la Cruz done up in Japanese Style. He is ironically a cool Filipino guy.

This article I wanted to dedicate to the amazing Joel de la Cruz from “Your Relationship Oracle”.  I have been very lucky to be working with this amazing man who is very kind and also has an “Innate” 6th Sense when it comes to understanding people.

He put a thought provoking post on Facebook that was about “Grief” and the pain of dealing with it.  It really got me thinking, not so much in a “Death” type of respect but got me reflecting on some of my own personal issues that I am dealing with.

Business wise I am rocking (the numbers are great and my projects are up to date) which is fantastic, however my own personal life is becoming quite an issue.  I think a lot of the issues I have always had, are now becoming more prominent as my life is getting busier and there are more and more people that are relying on me.  Like all things, I certainly don’t like “Having issues” and I find myself in the position of having to face them off and deal with them.  A few of my friends know my issues well (thank you Joel, Jenny Kuo, Lisa Aifantis, James Budd, Edward Wright and Penny + more) and it’s been great having their support.

If you read a bit earlier, I do suffer from a Diagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and it wasn’t that long ago my life was in pieces due to some really bad judgment, poor choices and laziness on my part.  My life is the best it’s ever been in all areas – and although things “On Paper” are rocking, I still mentally am connected to the times where I was alone and really had no one to trust.

My life only really came together say 10 months ago and on a funny note, I am finding myself dealing with all my issues that have been impacting me all my life.  On an even funnier note, the more I be honest with people, the more they are honest with me in telling me their own issues and the stuff they have to deal with.

So I am not alone in my own issues! I used to think everyone was right and there was something “Wrong” with me – only to find that everyone has their own issues and challenges.  One thing I have learnt lately and my close friend Jenny Kuo has been brilliant at (read my earlier articles about this amazing woman) – is about speaking about my own issues.

She has also put up with a lot of my “Trust Issues” – so if you read this Jen, thank you for your patience with me!

Being a “Persian Man” is great, but one big limitation is admitting my own issues.  That is, I was brought up with the importance of making out “I am just wonderful” even when things are just simply not.  The big realization I have had, is to admit the truth and nothing but the whole truth in an objective manner.  That is, if I have a problem “Admit It” as a weakness and deal with it, but also just as equally – if i am brilliant at something then tell the world with complete pride and satisfaction.

Thank you for the read in my article turned diary entry! Have a great day out there with maximum appreciation from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and Awesome Marketing Vault Creator.

I Will Feel Good after My First Win?

Luke Goodman speaking to a fine room of business owners! Our dedication!

Luke Goodman speaking to a fine room of business owners! Our dedication!

I have had an amazing day today and can’t believe the satisfaction I get from my life these days. I have spent time at 4Networking Penrith today (an amazing Network for Small Business Owners) and quality consulting time with Luke Goodman (LOL Home Loans) and Jenny Kuo (Sociable Space).

In dedicating this article to the both of these fine start-ups, it got me reflecting on my own success (or perhaps lack of it at the start). Including my own reflection on my own poor start-up and working with people who are going through what I went through, it got me reflecting on this big “Chicken & Egg” issue we all contend with in one way or another:

– I will feel good when I get results!
– BUT because I don’t feel good, I am not motivated to get results!

This is one sick cycle that I got caught up in and there is no easy way around it. Despite all the motivational courses (I spent about $20,000+ on Tony Robbins), training, positive thinking, “Magic Cures” and all those “Spiritual / Hippie” things you can do out there – for us telling the truth in the real world, this process sucks for most!

I think it sucks even more if you are like me let’s say, I come from a Military / Police / Agent family ancestry which is all about “Not Making Mistakes”, following clear rules and getting it perfect every time.

And that I did! High Distinction at University in a fairly challenging course and always did “The Right” thing for my employers (another story – my dedication to my employers almost was the death of me). But here is the thing, when you start your business you have NO money, your partner probably hates you (because you are bringing in no money) and your life is one mistake after another.

So for that reason, we can feel very bad and this feeling to a “Point” can be good and motivating, but we all tend to go too far where it leads to pure destruction! The big thing I have learnt to get through this process (in what I did and what I suggest to my awesome clients):

– Accept that the process is hard.
– Approach things with realism.
– Make sure you have enough money to cover you and your family doesn’t starve.
– Go Hard!
– Weather the Storm!
– Get your First Result.
– Then Feel Good!

This was my own personal process and if you are in that hard feeling start-up phase, I feel for you! Please hang in there and feel free to drop me a line if you want to say hello!  Thank you again Luke & Jenny – you are fine avatars to the hundreds of thousands of Start-Ups across the world and the ones to come!

With Gratitude and Love from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor who spent some time on the bottom!

Being Fired and Told to be Positive: Employee Days!

You just need to be more Positive - Just accept you suck and the Company is awesome!

You just need to be more Positive – Just accept you suck and the Company is awesome!

It’s almost Christmas and I am enjoying a few days off.  It’s funny, I miss connecting with people I love and care for – but I don’t miss getting up at 5AM everyday.  Great sleeping in for a few days! It’s given me one great chance to think back and on my wins / losses and everything in between.

As you can tell by my sentiment lately – I have been thinking back to all the times I was nailed / abused in the workforce.  When I started writing these stories, I thought I was some “fruitcake” on a limb – only to realize, I am speaking the voice of the masses!

One fantastic woman I am working with (I won’t mention your name publicly but I think you are cool and you know it’s you) had a very parallel life to my own.  A great woman, worked very hard like me for years, but evidently “climbed the right ladder, against the wrong wall”.  For many years she worked in the corporate space, only to have all her overtime and personal achievements negated by an evil employer who was trying to cut her out of her deserved entitlements.

I have plenty of other stories and this blog and really brought out a good discussion of this issue! Besides what I have been through, I remember in one of first jobs (when I was a in my early 20’s) I learnt the true nature of the corporation.  I am all for the corporation, but the thing I have a big problem with is the “churn / burn” element of big companies.  Yes, I understand that at times people have to go, but I think you know where I am going – the extreme, viciousness, the over-paid CEO’s / managers over slaving innocent workers.

Anyway back to my story, in one job there was this lovely man I worked with when I was in Research & Development. Worked at the job for 20 years, made the company tons of money but “overseas” it was decided some had to go.  R&D usually suffers first (as it very rarely gives one profitability within the short-term) so he was fired along with a stack of other people. (Not my view – certainly devil’s advocate) – so what? Who cares? Just a few people losing their job? Money is more important right?

Well the funny bit was I was very naive then and us “surviving employees” were taken into a dark room and told why we are bad, we suck, the company is in trouble (yet the fat cat was getting his bonus) and then we were all handed “who moved my cheese” and told that we had to be “more positive”.

As I used to be one naive character and I was brainwashed into believing how “awesome being an employee is” I drank the cult juice only to waste another 2 years of my life with them (actually I got a great break from them and went onto a great job and employer).  They just churned and burned people and didn’t give a rats.

One thing I have fallen in love with lately is small businesses.  To me, the ethics, growth and opportunities is in Australian small businesses and the big companies have just screwed us workers for years. The irony of writing this post is that it’s getting worse and I thought I was some “hippie on a limb”, where I think I am speaking the voice of the people ironically enough.

I’d love to hear your stories – feel free to visit me at my website and drop me a line.  So there you go, I almost sound like a communist – better put a Soviet Flag on my car right now!

The Requiem of Positive Thinking: Part I – The Employee

Listening to my boss and Positive Thinking - Got me unemployed for 6 months!

Listening to my boss and Positive Thinking – Got me unemployed for 6 months!

This is probably going to be an odd blog post for me in the respect that I have been “mentally” writing this for a few weeks now.  Even though I am considered quite articulate, putting into words the emotions and ideas have been a challenge for me on this one. I think this will appear to be a bit more of a serious diary entry, rather than a blog this time – so thank you for bearing with me.

What is interesting about this post to me, is that I usually write with a clear end goal in mind.  In this case, I am actually not sure what that is – my thinking is that as I write away it will somehow unfold. So another apology in advance – please keep up with my writing that may drift from topic to topic, I want to keep this as raw and uncut as possible.

As I write this post I am 34, I started in the professional workforce when I was about 19 – and did most of my University Undergraduate and Post Graduate work around that.

I grew up a big “positive thinker” and as I moved through my life “realism” has kicked in – and since I have been approaching things in a balanced manner my life has completely improved in almost every area.

One area of strange concern to me has been my corporate / employee career – for my whole life, my career has been ironically my own “goal of success” but really ended up being an elusive oppressor.  I now completely love what I do now and I can contribute to others and enjoy the work – but my whole life has had a very “master / slave” relationship about it. That is, I would start out as the “bright eyes” hardworking guy putting my life and soul into many corporates and getting a very small return on that back.

As a qualification, before you think I am attacking the whole workforce – of course not! This could easily be a reflection of me on perhaps being too sensitive, looking at things in an absolute manner or perhaps me being attracted to the wrong employers due to my own “mindset issues”. I once worked with this fantastic man by the name of Mike Davey – General Manager of Wrest Point Casino in Hobart, one brilliant and kind man – obviously had a job to do, but always protected the underdog.

In fact, when I moved from Hobart to Sydney – my original business ventures all were a spectacular failure and I had to go and get a job again. This kind man was referee for me and everything – helped me when I was down!

Conversely, early on in my career – I also had the opposite experience.  One employer I worked for – I would work long hours, reply to abusive emails late at night, finish work at 11PM all to be at my desk 7AM the following morning – and then to top it off, when I finished up with them they falsely accused me of negligence to get out of paying me my entitlements.  All as it was so they could keep all the money they could, at my expense despite the years of dedication and service. I recall that one was painful and very demoralizing and it was the beginning of the end for me when it came to positive thinking.  I felt sorry for myself, angry, confused and cheated – and many more dark emotions.  That started my career on a tough path – I remember I thought it was a “one off”, but it became the start of many and my first “requiem of positive thinking”.

What I found was scary about what I have been through – was that I met many people who had it worse than me.  That is, they weren’t “Jerry Springer” people or bad people many are kind and good-natured university educated, the religious (i.e. Christian, Muslim, Jewish – all faiths), charitable etc – all had some things which although weren’t illegal (expect in some cases) companies did some horrible things to them.

It wasn’t always intentional however, yes – some of the people who do the firing are pure sociopaths, but some as well are good people who are put into a position where they have to be the grim reaper for their company.  I remember I was at Ansett Airlines (if you are not from Australia it was a premium airline from years ago that crashed within days after the downturn from September 11) – they were a company with some great staff, but they financially weren’t stable.  They had employees I think with 40+ years experience who had never worked anywhere else.  I knew this one guy on the line at the Tullamarine Melbourne Base – it was so shocking, he committed suicide (hanging at his house) to deal with the pain.

This is one example of where it’s no ones fault, bad stuff happens to all of us.  What I am more concerned about / appalled by – is that when good people are screwed over by bad people, i.e. it’s someone who has clearly taken advantage of another party.  One top solicitor I know in Sydney – she is extremely intelligent, hard-working at had a great job at a small law firm.

One of the bigger public firms that you would ironically think are “more ethical” and all that hired her on a 6 month probation. When she went on, they asked to bring her clients (which she did and is common practice) and they spent lots of time telling her how wonderful she was.  This included public praise, dinners and everything.  Once they secured her last client (1 week before her probation), they fired her!

It turned out it was all a rouse designed to get her clients.  They knew what they were doing right before they hired her and guess what – 100% legal!

I remember one ironic one – I was worked for a “community”, “Not-for-profit” and it was one of the most evil organizations I worked for.  I worked for the casino in Hobart and they  ironically were fantastic and very ethical and this was the other extreme.  petty, abusive and it had a reputation for that.  I remember going for the job, not wanting it – and they kept chasing me. I even said no originally and they did the sell job on me.  My brief was to get someone in, train them up, build processes and guess what happened when I did that – they sacked me! So the trick was to use me for my knowledge, set things up then get rid of me.

Obviously no ethics and this has been thing thing I have been debating quite a bit with myself:

– Are they just purely evil scum-bags? Akin to rapists lurking on innocent women at train-stations or bandits from the early days? Do they get satisfaction out of other people suffering?

– Are they just self-centered? That is – they only care about themselves and what they can gain.  If being nice to their grand mother or selling someone into slavery makes them money then all good? That is, they will only cause suffering if it benefits them in some way?

– Are they truly messed up? That is – they think they are wonderful through performing a range of mental gymnastics, while everyone thinks they are messed up?

I think there are combinations of these of course, and I can think of people who fit into many categories.  I had this line supervisor that was certainly evil in nature.  They were bullying (and I have had people bully me who were not “evil” in nature) but what separated this person over the rest was that you could tell the enjoyed it.  That is, in the case of this person – whenever they dominated someone, proved themselves “right” (or at least to themselves), or yelled at people – an evil smile could come through.

Whereas, in one job (this was a few years ago, the worst job of my career) a “good” person did something bad to me.  That is, they just wanted to get rid of me right before probation (this was the place that sold me the job and told me 1 week prior how great and valuable I was) and the CEO made up some lies about me.  The HR Manager who was actually a “good” person backed those lies – and then told me one-on-one he was sorry.  I could tell deep down that he hurt himself doing that, and I know that he did it out of fear – not out of getting a thrill.

One that ripped me off on some of my employee entitlements, I wouldn’t think they are evil – but in the category of just purely self centered.  If being nice to me would make them money, then great – if killing me would make them money then great.

On a positive note, when I started my career I had this fantastic line supervisor by the name of John Voudouris.  He was this really kind and good-natured family guy.  He had a very strong code of ethics and I remember that I was moved side-ways into another division.  I then had this really mean manager who blamed for a whole lot of stuff that was hit fault, and John was there to help me out! It worked politically against him in the company to support me – but he did it.

On another funny note, years ago one of my employers was trying to get me to misrepresent one of their properties (i.e. basically make illegal claims about it’s quality and claim it confirmed to a certain scheme where it didn’t).  Really bad stuff and the owner and HR manager at the time were busy “telling me to do it” – I didn’t do it, they threatened to fire me and I stuck to my guns (as the legal penalties were far worse than anything they could do to me).

My story isn’t that unique though! I know plenty of people that have had way worse things happen to them and even though one can accuse me of “thinking too much” or “being overly sensitive” it’s a common problem these days.  I am all for capitalism – but one trend I have noticed (especially in Sydney) is a real “dog eat, dog world”.  I meet lots of people who have been fired, kicked out, lost contracts with funding held, been sexually harrased by bosses – only to be countered by a defamation suit and the lists goes on.

Interesting enough when I was working as a marketing manager in the pre-GFC world – I could do an easy $120K + / year.  These days, getting $90K + / year as a corporate is a challenge.  Before I got my business brains together, it was very demoralizing thinking that “all my skills had gone to waste”.  Although I had grown up being a happy little corporate with my self-esteem tied to my bosses opinion of me, my biggest mistake was being too slow in realizing that my skills in this space weren’t viewed or held with the esteem they once were.

I always did what my bosses said for years and in many cases – I got punished for it.  In fact, when I started undoing this thinking and actually doing something for myself (i.e. my own business), the financial and mental rewards have been there! This is the bit that has been frying my brain:

My Old Teaching – Be all positive, live for your boss, and be frustrated poor and unemployed.

My New Paradigm – Work hard for your job, but live your own life and build your own equity.

In that previous job where the “not evil”, but very “gutless” HR manager supported lies to feed me to the dogs, in the space of 1 week I went from thinking I am great and valued – to not having professional employment for 6 months!

This was the first (of many) big cracks in my thinking – I was taught to always love your boss and do what they say and this time my family and I got punished for it.  So an interesting concept – when I was younger I used to look around and think “This is all isn’t right” and then I would use tons of “positive thinking” and pretend everything was fine.

Being broke and 30 changed lots of my thinking! So that is my part I for now on “the requiem of positive thinking” my mini-blog within a blog.  I am not sure what is going to come next, but if you can relate to any of this – you are welcome to drop me a line at my wesbite or comment below!

Hope you enjoyed this one – took me a while to get the words out, so hope it made sense.  Thank you from Edward Zia for the read!

Sickness: Positive Thinking isn’t making me feel better?

I reckon Positive Thinkers like being stuck with big Syringes.  Visualize that one!

I reckon Positive Thinkers like being stuck with big Syringes. Visualize that one!

I know I should take it easy, but if you know me – I can sometimes push myself just that bit too hard and get myself sick. I am fine now, but I crashed a bit yesterday and should be full health and nice and ready for work by tomorrow.

A running joke has been lately that if you visualize positive stuff, your mortgage pays itself.  So far that hasn’t manifested and as I am sick right now – I was reflecting on some stupid and real “lame” positive thinking stuff I have seen about ones health.

I have seen totally BS and extreme claims that if you are “positive” about your health, it will be perfect and you will never get sick.  This is the whole “visualization” thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate visualization, but it’s made out to be the bees knees and is totally over-rated.

If positive thinking is so great, then if I visualize now me sickness will completely recharge? Of course it won’t, but then positive thinking pushers will say “Ah Ha Ed – I got you, because you don’t truly believe it, it won’t happen”.

What I am finding is working for me is actually “negative thinking” right now.  That is, yes I am sick – I need to take it easy, I need to rest otherwise IF I DON’T I will get worse.  So there you go, negative thinking is good for my health.  Hope you enjoyed my rant! I better get back to bed now and recover.

Perhaps I will get delirious and do some positive thinking!

The Positively Negative Gym: Ripping me off no more!

OMG - She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

OMG – She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

If you know me or have read my blog in more detail, you have probably figured out I am actually quite a positive thinker.  I don’t mean in a “visualize $2000 and my mortgage pays itself” in 30 seconds type of delusional thinker, but in a more:

– “Bad stuff happens, What do we do with it?” type of mentality.

Most of the fantastic people I work with agree with me and we all don’t like negative people! Does me attacking me make me negative? Probably! 🙂

I had a very interesting one today and recently.  I was (well still am until my notice clears out) a member of a very large gym which has outlets all across Australia.  When I first joined them, they were always “slightly snooty / snobby” but there was some nice staff that made the difference.

Over my 4 years of being with them – they seem to get worse and worse (talking all outlets across Sydney).  They would have “less time” for me, treat me poorly, never say goodbye to me when I left (even when I would initiate), charge me like a wounded-bull and then they closed my local gym! (Surprise, Surprise they were going broke).

Compared to some other gyms around town, I have noticed the morale of their gym’s to be down.  The staff were not happy (in defense of the staff, I read online they are treated like crap – so can you blame them?), the people there don’t seem happy at all – and no one is talking or interacting.  It’s actually quite a lonely place.

In a strict contrast, I have visited JB Hi-Fi stores or even Telstra stores which are happier environments that I feel good when I leave (whether I purchase or not).

In the context of this blog, what really got me about them was their amount of advertising and it’s all “so happy”.  That is, everyone is walking around miserable (including yours truly), they have mean messages on the walls saying things like “you must do this”, “you must do that”- and the personal trainers there at times were mean and wouldn’t even say hello back to me after saying hello first (expect for a couple which were really nice).

This got me thinking about the whole purpose behind me writing this blog, my fatigue of people who are really negative and in it for themselves (quite often money) pretending to be positive and it not working!

As of this morning I cancelled my membership at their location and I feel great.  Even though they have probably tens of thousands of paying members, they at least don’t have my $22 a week anymore! I would rather donate it to the Salvation Army and do push up’s at home than know it’s going to mean people like them.

My advice to you! It’s not always possible, but only do business with people who you love and love you back.  Life is too short to waste in mean people, especially those who are negative but pose as “positive thinkers!”

Positive Thinking: Running across a busy Road is OK?

You just suck and need to be more Positive! (NOT) :)

You just suck and need to be more Positive! (NOT)

That certainly appears correct.

If you look at all the “positive thinking”, “visualisation”, “think it and it will come” stuff out there it sounds really good in theory. Fear is bad, fear is terrible – and it’s just a “mindset thing” that needs to be overcome.

In taking this thinking to the extreme, to me – ignoring or “overcoming” your fear is not very intelligent.

Let’s say you walk up to busy motorway or freeway.  There are tons of cars going at 100+km / hour.  If you just watch you probably won’t feel any fear, but then let’s say you think about crossing it.  You then start feeling scared.

So let’s look at this two ways:

1) You get scared – then you think, hmm – I really need to be bloody careful here! If I don’t cross at the right time I will get run over.  So hmm, I am going to watch the traffic and wait for a safe spot.

2) You get scared – then you think, hmm – I am dis-empowering myself and I need to be more positive.  My fear is just an illusion and I need to be more abundant.   I am just going to have faith and cross the road.

So this is the great thing about positive thinking! Whatever happened to realism?  Am I advocating just submitting to ones fears and not taking intelligent risks? Of course not – I am all for that, I just think this positive thinking hype has gone to the unintelligent extreme and is mostly used as a rip off tool!

From Edward Zia, thank you for taking the time to read this.  I wish you the Awesome best out there!

The Fat Life Coach Telling me to Lose Weight: Part II

Don't need to eat properly or do exercise, just be Positive and everything will be fine! :)

Don’t need to eat properly or do exercise, just be Positive and everything will be fine!

Lately I have been working “My Butt Off” (pardon the pun) to really get my eating under control.  Even though I consider a fantastic Business Person / Marketer – I have always suffered from additions throughout my whole life.

Unless I am always applying conscious effort, I tend to start eating whatever I want again and “Pork Up” if I am not careful!

Anyway, I am going quite well in doing things the right way – and it reminds me of how hard addictions to break.

I find some people just don’t suffer from addictions and they don’t get it – but if you are like me and have that “Nature about you” I am sure you can relate.  This situation got me thinking about the “Fat Life Coach” I always love talking about.

Now before you think “Ed is attacking fat people”, no way – I can’t do that as I am currently overweight! (and even when I was slim I didn’t do that) But I am attacking hypocrisy in general – this Life Coach I know is extremely overweight and whenever I see them – I get lots of “Fantastic Advice” on how to lose weight.

This person worships Positive Thinking as their god and takes quite an extreme view that all Negative Thinking is “Bad” and a result of society brainwashing us.  A good discussion to be had there, but it’s fair to say – that is person can’t control their own weight (let alone is going out on limb trying to pretend to be an authority on this topic).

When I put on lots of weight, I felt bad.  And what I realized in hind-sight was that I was subconsciously using “Positive Thinking” to make myself feel better.  For example, ” I am not that Fat”, “I still look good”, “I am just getting older” and all these positive statements to justify why it’s fine.

So in other words, Positive Thinking made me fat! This insight made me think about our overweight life coach friend – they are using the same approach to their mindset that I was and look at them!

So please watch out for not only hypocritical characters like above trying to claim they are something they are not and take your money – but also not listening to so called “Negative Emotions” are telling you! If you are nice and healthy, please don’t make my mistake – and if you got into a bit of health trouble like I did, just admit it and do something about it!

The Mean Positive Thinker using me and Spitting Me Out!

We will get you, Evil Positive Thinkers! You can't push us around forever :)

We will get you, Evil Positive Thinkers! You can’t push us around forever!

This one happened to me a short while ago, as I am still relatively new in business (only about 2 years) it was quite upsetting at the time – now I find it funny, amusing and a great battle scar / war story to share with my clients and friends alike.

I had a great one of this “Positive Thinking” lady who just knew everything and lead me on to scam me for a few free hours of consulting.  She would sit me down, tell me everything is wonderful and even during the meeting tried to ask me to “Do it for Free” or do a “Profit Share” if things work out for her.

After spending a good hour or more there – I knew she certainly wasn’t a nice person, let along anyone I would want to work with as a client.  I left her office thinking “No Way”.  They then took all my ideas, spoke to another Consultant and signed them up.  What hurt even more, was I knew this other person that even knew what was going on – and encouraged that mean woman to screw me over.

I didn’t want to work with them at all, but the pain was more about how they just screwed me over without any regard and with complete malice.

What was funny now about this whole process was the whole “Positive Thinking”.  This woman gave me a lecture on how great positive thinking was, how awesome she is – and unless anyone thinks the way she does – they are total losers.

What was funny was that she was in poor physical health, I bet lacked friends and wasn’t doing well financially at all (despite working hard to convince me otherwise).

So what is this trend? Why do all these people who use Positive Thinking as their religion usually come across as self-centered like this?

After thinking this through and see dozens (if not over 100 examples) of this play out over and over again, I think “Positive Thinking” leads to selfish actions.  For example, if you say do something bad to someone – and you “Feel Guilty” let’s say, that guilt is great as it motivates you to look at yourself, correct that behaviour and improve your giving capacity.

Know this is where great Positive Thinking comes in – instead of using the guilt to serve you, you can make yourself feel good with tons of Positive Thinking.  Then you are done – no more guilt feeling, you feel great – so now it’s time to screw over some other person and take their hard earned cash of them.

Even though part of me wants to publicly name this person, it’s not how I roll.  But you bad person, if you ever read this blog – I hope you change your wicked ways! Or you rip off the wrong person who will change your wicked ways for you!  Don’t let Positive Thinking twist your ethics!

Positive Thinkers are Evil? Plenty of Proof!

Unethical and Evil Positive Thinkers Love being hit with Baseball Bats :)

Unethical and Evil Positive Thinkers Love being hit with Baseball Bats!

With my latest attack on extremist Positive Thinkers who enjoy self-gratification over ethics, honour or contribution – I have had an interesting run this week in talking to various groups about a “Certain” Network Marketing Organization that frequently breaches the Trade Practices act (where its members consistently mislead and disguise the purpose of the meeting in order to con people into it’s Pressure Cooking meetings).

By the way, I have nothing against Network Marketing – I am actually a member of several myself (as end users) and they are great.  I am talking about one malicious one in particular which you would know all about.

When I just started my business, some real mean person mislead me into a meeting and then when I was there, the Positive Thinkers played on my insecurities every bit to force me to join their cult.  I have told this story across Sydney and what is very scary, is that I only meet dozens of people who had the same unethical stuff forced on them.

What is worse, is that the organization is still around terrorizing people – and they are all endorses and lovers of “Positive Thinking”.  So let me get this straight, if you do something bad to someone and hurt them – Positive Thinking is obviously a useful tool to make themselves feel better again?

So if you are a victim on an organization like this, make sure you get out of there – and if you find someone doing this type of unethical action, hit them with a base-ball bat for me.  I hear they love that!

Positive Thinking: Lowering Confidence and Questioning Yourself?

Positive Thinking sent me insane! And it probably will you too!

Positive Thinking sent me insane! And it probably will you too!

From my previous posts, you have no doubt picked up I emotionally knocked around a bit the previous week.  Nothing serious – but it was an event which hit on a nerve of mine since childhood.

Strangely enough, the event is no longer the issue -it’s been my emotional response to it that has been! After “Coaching Myself” and thinking it all through – I actually tried a bit of “Positive Thinking”.  Ha ha and while you are reading this and laughing at me for the obvious contradiction / hypocrisy I have engaged it, it really has reinforced my view here.

Emotionally I was going crazy, i.e. reliving the event, churning myself about it and all that type of thing.  Whenever I used “Positive Thinking” to wish myself better and focus on the “Good Stuff” it actually made me feel worse.

That is, until I confronted the issues in my own thinking and dealt with them in a Realistic way, it kept driving me crazy.

That is the big issue of positive thinking and why many highly regarded and trained Psychologists speak out against it.  It causes you not to deal with your issues, but to let them fester and create more of a problem.

I confronted some of my own childhood experiences (and early Corporate Days) in which I used to feel bad and always thinking “I was loser” and nicely empowering things like that.  Well as I write this post, I am doing exactly that – looking at myself “Objectively” and taking out all the negativity from the past this experience brought up in me. So here is my big advice / lesson from this one, don’t be a positive thinking nutjob! Identify the issues in your life and deal with them! Head on – deal with it.

Then you will be “Truly Positive” and not projecting your issues onto everyone else!

Positive Thinkers who Screw you Over – then expect you to like it?

I am up for a rematch anytime you Positive Thinkers that shonked me!

I am up for a rematch anytime you Positive Thinkers that shonked me!

The world is an interesting place and I find the older I get the more I reflect about it.  As you can probably tell by now – I have a thing against “Positive Thinkers” and the whole industry of corruption that is based on conning people to part with their hard earned cash to purchase “Positive Thinking Products”.

These positive thinking people prey on quite often I find intelligent people who are having a rough time in their lives and want to achieve more.  The instant quick fix of “Just think positively and visualize” even tempts me at times.

Many organizations that use Positive Thinking to control it’s members (and have a “Cult” like view in the broader community) I find can be quite powerful in screwing people over, but then convincing people they should like it.

The negative experience I had last week really got me thinking.  I placed my trust in a few people (but I was suspicious at the start) and they used and abused me.  So what? People get screwed over all the time, but what I find fascinating is that they can live with themselves.

This is where Positive Thinking can become quite dangerous in that people like the ones that did me over can do very questionable stuff, but then “Positively Justify” it to make themselves out to be okay with.   This is obviously not a new concept, we hear of people doing some pretty dark things out there and then having justifications that to them seem quite reasonable but bizarre to the wider community.

My own view that I have formed over the last few years is that if your “Gut Instinct” alarm goes off (as mine did with these characters) keep that in mind.  It turned out it was greatly correct in this situation.

If someone screws you over, but all means – don’t let it eat you out or knock around your own self-esteem (as it certainly can a bit), but then don’t be naive as well.   Make sure you protect yourself against them and be aware! If you turn your back on them – they will come and get you!