In fact, I had lots of proof. Bosses being mean to me. Kids beating me up at school. Girls using / leaving me. Teachers marking me unfairly. The list goes on.
Also, if someone was nice to me I had all this “Proof & Evidence” that this was untrue. Now, guess what I wasn’t collecting evidence on? The amount of people who were very kind – and not out to get me. After all – come on? If someone was “Acting Nice” – surely it was some scheme to take advantage of me?
Do you pick up a pattern? Years later I had. What I was doing was that because I “Just Knew” people were out to get me, I was:
– Only Focusing on the bad stuff that happened to me.
– Deleting / Ignoring the positive things that happened to me.
I have really started to get into Neuro Linguisitic Programming (NLP) which teaches one about the power of beliefs. That is – it makes the old cliche true:
– If you are Right or Wrong you are right.
Regardless of what you believe, i.e. there is a god, there isn’t a god, white people are bad, white people are good, people hate you, people love you etc – your “Ego” & “Mind” will justify it for you by selectively focusing you only on the “Evidence” in the world that supports it.
This can be good and bad. The beliefs I had above did to some degree keep me out of danger, however it had the unwanted side-affects of isolating me – and worse; making it hard for me to relate to other people. My new belief is that:
– There are good and bad people out there. Just be careful.
This new belief protects me from the “Sharks in the fishing tank” as well as allows me to really build quality relationships. Not bad huh? I wish I learnt this stuff 10 years ago. Now…What other crappy beliefs do I have to take care of?
* Many thanks to Cynthia Lou from Flickr for the Poor Teddy Pic.