The Requiem of Positive Thinking: Part I – The Employee

Listening to my boss and Positive Thinking - Got me unemployed for 6 months!

Listening to my boss and Positive Thinking – Got me unemployed for 6 months!

This is probably going to be an odd blog post for me in the respect that I have been “mentally” writing this for a few weeks now.  Even though I am considered quite articulate, putting into words the emotions and ideas have been a challenge for me on this one. I think this will appear to be a bit more of a serious diary entry, rather than a blog this time – so thank you for bearing with me.

What is interesting about this post to me, is that I usually write with a clear end goal in mind.  In this case, I am actually not sure what that is – my thinking is that as I write away it will somehow unfold. So another apology in advance – please keep up with my writing that may drift from topic to topic, I want to keep this as raw and uncut as possible.

As I write this post I am 34, I started in the professional workforce when I was about 19 – and did most of my University Undergraduate and Post Graduate work around that.

I grew up a big “positive thinker” and as I moved through my life “realism” has kicked in – and since I have been approaching things in a balanced manner my life has completely improved in almost every area.

One area of strange concern to me has been my corporate / employee career – for my whole life, my career has been ironically my own “goal of success” but really ended up being an elusive oppressor.  I now completely love what I do now and I can contribute to others and enjoy the work – but my whole life has had a very “master / slave” relationship about it. That is, I would start out as the “bright eyes” hardworking guy putting my life and soul into many corporates and getting a very small return on that back.

As a qualification, before you think I am attacking the whole workforce – of course not! This could easily be a reflection of me on perhaps being too sensitive, looking at things in an absolute manner or perhaps me being attracted to the wrong employers due to my own “mindset issues”. I once worked with this fantastic man by the name of Mike Davey – General Manager of Wrest Point Casino in Hobart, one brilliant and kind man – obviously had a job to do, but always protected the underdog.

In fact, when I moved from Hobart to Sydney – my original business ventures all were a spectacular failure and I had to go and get a job again. This kind man was referee for me and everything – helped me when I was down!

Conversely, early on in my career – I also had the opposite experience.  One employer I worked for – I would work long hours, reply to abusive emails late at night, finish work at 11PM all to be at my desk 7AM the following morning – and then to top it off, when I finished up with them they falsely accused me of negligence to get out of paying me my entitlements.  All as it was so they could keep all the money they could, at my expense despite the years of dedication and service. I recall that one was painful and very demoralizing and it was the beginning of the end for me when it came to positive thinking.  I felt sorry for myself, angry, confused and cheated – and many more dark emotions.  That started my career on a tough path – I remember I thought it was a “one off”, but it became the start of many and my first “requiem of positive thinking”.

What I found was scary about what I have been through – was that I met many people who had it worse than me.  That is, they weren’t “Jerry Springer” people or bad people many are kind and good-natured university educated, the religious (i.e. Christian, Muslim, Jewish – all faiths), charitable etc – all had some things which although weren’t illegal (expect in some cases) companies did some horrible things to them.

It wasn’t always intentional however, yes – some of the people who do the firing are pure sociopaths, but some as well are good people who are put into a position where they have to be the grim reaper for their company.  I remember I was at Ansett Airlines (if you are not from Australia it was a premium airline from years ago that crashed within days after the downturn from September 11) – they were a company with some great staff, but they financially weren’t stable.  They had employees I think with 40+ years experience who had never worked anywhere else.  I knew this one guy on the line at the Tullamarine Melbourne Base – it was so shocking, he committed suicide (hanging at his house) to deal with the pain.

This is one example of where it’s no ones fault, bad stuff happens to all of us.  What I am more concerned about / appalled by – is that when good people are screwed over by bad people, i.e. it’s someone who has clearly taken advantage of another party.  One top solicitor I know in Sydney – she is extremely intelligent, hard-working at had a great job at a small law firm.

One of the bigger public firms that you would ironically think are “more ethical” and all that hired her on a 6 month probation. When she went on, they asked to bring her clients (which she did and is common practice) and they spent lots of time telling her how wonderful she was.  This included public praise, dinners and everything.  Once they secured her last client (1 week before her probation), they fired her!

It turned out it was all a rouse designed to get her clients.  They knew what they were doing right before they hired her and guess what – 100% legal!

I remember one ironic one – I was worked for a “community”, “Not-for-profit” and it was one of the most evil organizations I worked for.  I worked for the casino in Hobart and they  ironically were fantastic and very ethical and this was the other extreme.  petty, abusive and it had a reputation for that.  I remember going for the job, not wanting it – and they kept chasing me. I even said no originally and they did the sell job on me.  My brief was to get someone in, train them up, build processes and guess what happened when I did that – they sacked me! So the trick was to use me for my knowledge, set things up then get rid of me.

Obviously no ethics and this has been thing thing I have been debating quite a bit with myself:

– Are they just purely evil scum-bags? Akin to rapists lurking on innocent women at train-stations or bandits from the early days? Do they get satisfaction out of other people suffering?

– Are they just self-centered? That is – they only care about themselves and what they can gain.  If being nice to their grand mother or selling someone into slavery makes them money then all good? That is, they will only cause suffering if it benefits them in some way?

– Are they truly messed up? That is – they think they are wonderful through performing a range of mental gymnastics, while everyone thinks they are messed up?

I think there are combinations of these of course, and I can think of people who fit into many categories.  I had this line supervisor that was certainly evil in nature.  They were bullying (and I have had people bully me who were not “evil” in nature) but what separated this person over the rest was that you could tell the enjoyed it.  That is, in the case of this person – whenever they dominated someone, proved themselves “right” (or at least to themselves), or yelled at people – an evil smile could come through.

Whereas, in one job (this was a few years ago, the worst job of my career) a “good” person did something bad to me.  That is, they just wanted to get rid of me right before probation (this was the place that sold me the job and told me 1 week prior how great and valuable I was) and the CEO made up some lies about me.  The HR Manager who was actually a “good” person backed those lies – and then told me one-on-one he was sorry.  I could tell deep down that he hurt himself doing that, and I know that he did it out of fear – not out of getting a thrill.

One that ripped me off on some of my employee entitlements, I wouldn’t think they are evil – but in the category of just purely self centered.  If being nice to me would make them money, then great – if killing me would make them money then great.

On a positive note, when I started my career I had this fantastic line supervisor by the name of John Voudouris.  He was this really kind and good-natured family guy.  He had a very strong code of ethics and I remember that I was moved side-ways into another division.  I then had this really mean manager who blamed for a whole lot of stuff that was hit fault, and John was there to help me out! It worked politically against him in the company to support me – but he did it.

On another funny note, years ago one of my employers was trying to get me to misrepresent one of their properties (i.e. basically make illegal claims about it’s quality and claim it confirmed to a certain scheme where it didn’t).  Really bad stuff and the owner and HR manager at the time were busy “telling me to do it” – I didn’t do it, they threatened to fire me and I stuck to my guns (as the legal penalties were far worse than anything they could do to me).

My story isn’t that unique though! I know plenty of people that have had way worse things happen to them and even though one can accuse me of “thinking too much” or “being overly sensitive” it’s a common problem these days.  I am all for capitalism – but one trend I have noticed (especially in Sydney) is a real “dog eat, dog world”.  I meet lots of people who have been fired, kicked out, lost contracts with funding held, been sexually harrased by bosses – only to be countered by a defamation suit and the lists goes on.

Interesting enough when I was working as a marketing manager in the pre-GFC world – I could do an easy $120K + / year.  These days, getting $90K + / year as a corporate is a challenge.  Before I got my business brains together, it was very demoralizing thinking that “all my skills had gone to waste”.  Although I had grown up being a happy little corporate with my self-esteem tied to my bosses opinion of me, my biggest mistake was being too slow in realizing that my skills in this space weren’t viewed or held with the esteem they once were.

I always did what my bosses said for years and in many cases – I got punished for it.  In fact, when I started undoing this thinking and actually doing something for myself (i.e. my own business), the financial and mental rewards have been there! This is the bit that has been frying my brain:

My Old Teaching – Be all positive, live for your boss, and be frustrated poor and unemployed.

My New Paradigm – Work hard for your job, but live your own life and build your own equity.

In that previous job where the “not evil”, but very “gutless” HR manager supported lies to feed me to the dogs, in the space of 1 week I went from thinking I am great and valued – to not having professional employment for 6 months!

This was the first (of many) big cracks in my thinking – I was taught to always love your boss and do what they say and this time my family and I got punished for it.  So an interesting concept – when I was younger I used to look around and think “This is all isn’t right” and then I would use tons of “positive thinking” and pretend everything was fine.

Being broke and 30 changed lots of my thinking! So that is my part I for now on “the requiem of positive thinking” my mini-blog within a blog.  I am not sure what is going to come next, but if you can relate to any of this – you are welcome to drop me a line at my wesbite or comment below!

Hope you enjoyed this one – took me a while to get the words out, so hope it made sense.  Thank you from Edward Zia for the read!

Evil People: They love Screwing Us!

Much better to talk to than Amway People!

Much better to talk to than dodgy MLM People!

I love telling this story.  Some time ago, I met this “Very Nice” Girl at Networking Event.  She was almost too nice to me and I thought she must be a multi-level Marketer of some form.  At the time, I was just starting out my business. If you have started your own business before, you know the “Insecure” feeling I am talking about.  If you haven’t, but say are working – then imagine the first day of your new job – repeating itself “Groundhog Day” style for a year straight (i.e. you are insecure).

Anyway, this lovely girl invited me to a meeting of “Like-Minded Individuals”.  So one night, out I drive out to lovely Parramatta RSL and there are people everywhere. I mean in the hundreds I am talking.  So they are all my “Instant Friends” and then they take us into a big room pressure cooker style.

They do us this big pitch about Financial Freedom and then they pull out the whole MLM thing.  At the time, the same girl dragged this other woman along by the name of Lara.  She  is this cool mum who was lied too as well – she even hired a baby sitter so she could come along.

At the end, all of the minions were trying hard to sign me up.  “Come on, it’s only $80”, “Aren’t you serious about business?”, “Don’t you want to be part of us?”. What was funny was that as one would fail, they would send another one to try and bully me into joining.

After the 5th Cycle the gave up.  What was very sad about the whole experience is that I know weaker-willed individuals would get sucked in and poor Lara – she lost her whole evening.  The girl lied to all of us! Very shonky and very bad – and it’s actually illegal to mispresent solicitations like that.

So are these people evil? Well – some are.  I don’t think all of them are – but if you commit enough evil deeds, when do you become evil yourself? If any of you dodgy people read this blog and know I am talking about you – please leave a comment.  I would love to expose your lies to the world!  So be careful out there boys and girls! These bastards are out searching the forest to feed on the naive!

Defending Earth against Evil MLM’s and it’s Minions

Okay you Scamway Bully.  You Won the first round, so let's go round number 2!

Okay you Scamway Bully. You Won the first round, so let’s go round number 2!

If you are a Sydneysider like me, you have no doubt been bombarded by these people who are some how trying to get into your wallet.  Fighting dodgy Multi-Level Marketeres are a bit like fighting aliens, it almost doesn’t matter how many you stop – they keep landing!

In lots of science fiction films and games, let’s say you are the Hero.  Some aliens are invading Earth (or whatever) and you are the only one that can stop them.  And of course, humanity is out-numbered and unless you get the “Queen” or stop the “Heart” of them – you will eventually lose!

To me, these dodgy MLM’s around Sydney is a bit like the first 30 minutes of a Video Game or a Movie like this.  There are MLM people everywhere, and you seem to be busy fighting them off – and don’t know how to stop them!

I had a very good some time ago.  Some time ago at a Networking Event when I started my business, I wasn’t too confident about myself.  This quite nasty MLM guy who is out and about town trying to rip people off really got stuck into me with some persuasive questioning.  He honestly got me off guard and said hostile things to me like:

– So is your business really passive? What is you stopped working, will you get paid?

– Have you ever created anything? “Dodgy MLM X” is true creation.

– I am successful and you are not.

At that time (when I was a bit vulnerable), although he didn’t get anywhere with me (in fact he got nowhere – I told the Networking Host who kicked him out of the group) it was quite aggressive and hostile questioning that was used against me.

I consider myself a tough savvy guy these days and looking back, what I found almost evil about this was that weaker willed individuals would have been conned into this.  And of course don’t start me about their deceptive behavior, i.e. they drag you to a Coffee Chat about some other reason then hit you up with their pyramid scheme.

Are they evil? Whenever I ask friends who are part of it – they always say “I am Wrong / Stupid” and that I “Don’t get it”.

Well, to the people from dodgy MLM’s who have attacked me, I ask you this:

– Why do you like conning people?

– Why do you hate your fellow-man and enjoy deception?

– If you are so rich and wealthy, why do you need me?

So watch out everyone! I better be careful too, the big scheme I am attacking my send a hit man to get me at 2AM in the morning!

Evil Nutjobs and their Quest into your Bank Account!

They Shonks would if they could!

The Shonks would if they could!

Lately I have heard this expression come up more and more in that “You Should Never Leave Money on the Table?”.  I only heard this expression maybe a year ago – and like all things, I really learn both sides of the coin before taking a side.

I understand conceptually the point of “Not Leaving Money on the Table”.  That is – my ethical / noble take of it is lets say you meet with someone, it’s really good to establish some way you can help each other before you leave.  Be it buy their services, sell, refer or just support each other.

However, I have seen it’s dark underbelly show up yet again in that when you meet with some people, they really really try hard to take your money by any means possible.  That is, I have heard war stories of people:

– Trying to oversell.  That is – their services are not appropriate for the other and they keep going without any ethics.

– They make out they want to meet for innocent means and then hit you up at the table to join some type of scheme (i.e. a big issue around Sydney right now).

– They try and get you to do something to serve only their agenda and pay little to no attention to yours.

The Top Earners I personally know and work with – about 9 /10 of them are team players, contributors, and only enter sustainable “Win-Win” agreements.  I know the odd rich toad, but in my experience over the last few years – most rich are quite noble type of characters (i.e. the sustainable / long term wealthy).

I have noticed that the poorest people I know are the ones that try to suck you into schemes and usually have a poor reputation around town.

I once met a guy at a Networking Event that did almost all of the above.  They dominated me in the conversation, tried to sell me some crap that they knew wasn’t useful to me.  And then afterwords he “Accidentally” sent me some material on a dodgy scheme.  When I pointed this out, he was all like “Oh Sorry, it was by accident”.

I then said “No thank you, this type of scheme isn’t for me”.

And guess what he did, he kept going! I then stopped replying to his emails and that got rid of him.  Also of interest, you can tell that he certainly didn’t want to leave any money on the table! Provided of course it was all in his wallet!

So please be careful out there boys and girls! I have noticed shonks on the rise in the Sydney Scene and I really hate them all big time.

Happy Easter too! 🙂

Hot Girls, Pyramid Schemes and Old Tricks

You are just interested in "Me" right?

At a recent Networking Group I was at, a friend of mine who ran the group got into a lot of trouble!

The Networking Group was basically subverted by a group of people from a “Pyramid Selling” type of organization that primarily uses “Deception” as a way of luring you to Seminar or a Coffee Chat.

Quite a few Multi-Level-Marketing Companies are quite good and very noble (e.g. Send Out Cards, Neways, Herbal Life etc) in my experience – but some of them really like to screw you into a meeting.

I had a very funny one.  Well several, but I had this very tall and attractive “Asian” girl show a lot of interest in me at a Networking Event.  I didn’t pay much attention to it, but then about 8:30PM the next night, she was on the phone to me inviting me to an “Event of Like-Minded” individuals.

Hmm interesting, I instantly asked so what is this about and she replied “It’s not Dodgy”.  After more questioning, I eventually found out it’s “That Scheme” which we all have had lots of trouble with!

On another funny note – at a more recent workshop, this girl I met wanted to meet for an innocent coffee chat.  She strangely wanted me to bring my wife & meet with her husband as well to talk about business goals and such.

Hmm, when I asked she kept dodging, and yep! It turned out to be the “Scheme” we all know about!

So please be really careful out there – although lots of time has passed, you get lots of people using old tricks to try and trick you into seminars and stuff.

Your time is your gold and don’t let any suckers like this push you around!

Boy, I wish I learnt this 20 years ago! 🙂

Negative Thinkers: The Joy of Shooting them in the Face

Time for some Love you Bully / Negative Thinker :)

Time for some Love you Bully / Negative Thinker!

I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of Negative Thinkers (and of course, Negative Thinkers who disguise themselves as “Positive Thinkers”).

You may remember from my last post, a certain “Negative Thinker” engaged in Vampirism with my poor neck and only now are the wounds starting to heal.

Like anything upsetting in our lives, sometimes we can get knocked off our chair – but then we gradually put things into perspective and move on.

This has really got me thinking about my whole life and reflecting back on my Wins, Losses and everything in between.  I remember right from the age of 8, right to my nice age of early 30’s now – there have always been “Negative Thinkers”, “Bullies”, or “Vampires” that whenever I have wanted to achieve something noble or big for myself – they are there to slow me down or not make it happen.

Right from bad bosses, to manipulative people, or even deceptive Multi-Level-Marketing people (who have mastered the art of looking “Positive”) – you have to be careful in this day and age to make sure people don’t suck you into their precious “Agendas”.

One thing I have learnt to take pleasure in, is standing up to the bullies and “Negative Thinkers” who don’t really give a rats about you personally – and only care about what resources they can extract from you (i.e. be it sick pleasure form your suffering, taking your money or even your time).

In fact, one thing I notice is that we when stand up for our own-selves and focus on what we want in OUR OWN lives, just like Cock-A-Roaches the Negative Thinkers scatter when the lights go on!

So my big learning, make sure you are living your own life and doing WHAT MATTERS to you!  And if you have some free time over the weekend, go and shoot a bully in the face or something like that.  Do you think I am joking? Maybe (depending on who is asking). Boy I wish I learnt this 20 years ago!

Positive Thinking: And how it has robbed me of Money & Time!

"Positive Thinkers" - The Common Thief?

“Positive Thinkers” – The Common Thief?

I met this complete “Douche Bag” at a Networking Event recently. Well, actually – they more met me.  This person just was so “Positive” and really “Nice” to me.  In fact, this person kept following me around at the Networking Event!

I had this strange conversation with the person in that he was asking me a lot of questions, but when I asked him – I got vague answers such as:

– I help people make money.

– I build teams to help people make money.

– I am a Networker of Businesses.

I kept asking precise questions such as “What do you do?” and this Weasel kept ducking them again and again!

This conversation went on for a few minutes and I decided to move on.

On a funny note, this “Slime Ball” tried their stuff on others – and was actually alienated from other people in the room! (And left very early).

You know and I know, this person was one of those lovely people from some certain Pyramid / Multi-Level-Marketing Shonk that was obviously looking for new people to prey on.

Over the years, I have had very good friends get caught up in these “Shonky” schemes.

The true sad part of all this is that out of at least 10+ people I have seen caught up, NONE of them have actually remained in the schemes or have made money.  The sad truth is that “Positive Thinkers” have used this as a means to try and not only rip people off – but they end up selfishly wasting the time of others.  In my own life, I have encountered many of these “Bottom Feeders” who want nothing other than to rob me of both for their own Selfish Agendas.

Are Rip-Off Merchants New? Of course not – but what I find just fascinating how the are really “Con-Men/Women” and they use the whole “Positive Thinking” / “Abundance” / “Rivers of Cash Flowing” – to get us to overcome our natural intelligence so they can take our hard earned cash. Our Time and Money is precious (especially time as you can’t make it back) – watch out for not only the Rip-Offs, but also how “Positive Thinking” can make you inactive.

Remember, while the intelligent people are working hard, overcoming real issues and making money – while the “Positive Thinkers” are busy imagining stuff that won’t ever happen to them. Be careful out there and stay realistic! It’s a Jungle out there and watch out for lions disguised as “Positive Thinkers!”

Positive Thinkers: Why do they Feel more Pain and Earn Less?

To All "Positive Thinkers" who rip off poor people - I can't wait till you are taken out with the Trash!

To All “Positive Thinkers” who rip off poor people – I can’t wait till you are taken out with the Trash!

If you are like me and had the privilege of working with and knowing wealthy people (i.e. not people on $50K / Year Pretending, but people of say at least $5M+) – you would already know that “Extreme Positive Thinking” really only has a place for scammers, people who don’t like to face facts or those who really use it as their “Religion” to help them sleep well at night.

Now my own Business is healthy and things are actually playing out well for me (Finally Thank God!) – I have really been working with two types of people when you boil it all down.

– Those that are having tough times – but pushing through and making it.

– Those that are having tough times – but are spinning around in circles and failing.

The alarming trend which I have confirmed (yet again) is that the people who are making it – are very similar to the people I know who are worth at least $5M.  Now, I know you may be thinking “Jesus Christ Ed, you stupid Capitalist, is it just about money?”.

My response to that is – of course it isn’t just about money, but come on and work with me here – Money is one of the top drivers of our satisfaction in our society (if you have ever been unemployed like I was for a while and you pay your rent with your Growing Credit Card Debt – trust me! You learn how powerful money is!).

The reality is that when someone is over-engaged in “Positive Thinking” and are saying things like “Oh it’s easy”, “Money flows to me in rivers of abundance”, “Money Grows on Trees like Apples”, “If i just visualize happy things Natalie Portman or Sam Worthington will visit me in my bedroom at 2AM etc” – they really aren’t grasping reality.

Where it get’s worse for these poor people, is that instead of just accepting reality in that “Well it’s tough – but things are going to get easier” and solving them problems and going for it – it encourages one to become inactive.

And here is the big thing, everyone who I know that has an unhealthy obsession with “Positive Thinking” – they aren’t the ones making the big bucks.  They are usually quite Good-Natured, Loving and Kind – but very poor, pressured and frustrated people.

If you were like me once and got sucked into this “Positive Thinking Fad” – it’s okay and don’t panic! Just start undoing the brain-washing all the Positive Thinking Cults have forced on you.  And if you are paying some “Guru” tons of money to help you -please stop it!

Just go down to your local Church, Mosque, Synagogue, Buddist Temple or Liberal Party office and ask for some free advice.  As for you stupid, pathetic worms who are using “Positive Thinking” to rip poor honest people off with your schemes and cults – I sincerely hope you twist your ankle going down the stairs today! You people are Garbage! And I hope you get taken out to the curb!

Why do “Positive Thinkers” Lie To Us About Tough Times?

“Positive Thinkers” Lie to Us – It is really Tough at Times! No matter the Spin!

“Positive Thinkers” lie all the time about tough times.

These people are really unethical and are just trying to con you out of your hard-earned money.

Besides my Formal Studies, I have read lots of books from the so-called “Gurus” on how to “Be Rich”, “Live Your Life” and “Stay Positive”.

One Con, which I picked up is that in all the books you pick off the shelf, they always try and make out how easy it is to make $1,000,000 and achieve the life of your dreams (usually in a time-frame measured by months and not years!).

It’s just and me talking here now – let’s have a frank conversation.  No matter what front we put on, we always have tough times.

We can have problems with our Partners, Children, Money, Business, Work, Sickness and all that.  According to these “Positive Thinkers”:

– You can snap yourself out of it immediately.

– It’s just the “Story you are telling yourself”.

– You need to just “Be Positive”.

Oh great, so my wife has left me – my kids are sick, I am having trouble at work – so if I just tell myself to be happy, I just will be?

Well, that is what many so called “Positive Thinkers” have told me face to face and in their books.  Here is the funny con of it all, with some of these Positive Thinkers I have witnessed first hand and had reported to me second-hand – is that they get as “Negative” as we do, have “Problems” just like us and can’t just “Change” their emotions like they make out they do.

So it’s fair to say that in tough times, just “Being Positive” is a lie.  You have to do a lot more than that, i.e. be patient, be honest, make changes, give yourself time etc.

So why are these “Positive Thinkers” and Authors lying to us? Here are a few questions regarding them:

– Are they lying to us to sell more of their books?

– Are they trying to create a front they are “Larger than Life” so we get conned by them?

– Do they pretend what they know is so powerful, you will go to their seminars and fork out for them?

Come On! We aren’t stupid.  As much as they like to think we are stupid, we are actually not and can question what these people are doing.  “Positive Thinking” just makes them rich at our expense! You and I both know what is really going on here – “Positive Thinkers” lying to us so they can take your money and buy themselves nice cars, holidays and stuff.

Tough Times happen, and they suck! However that is life and it can be tough and can take time to get through things. When you are feeling down, please watch your wallet / purse! That is when these con artists are at their peak!