Probably yourself reading this and anyone that has been in business for a short while will know exactly what the header to this article is getting too. I have been in business now for about 3 – 4 years and I have had a few business relationships go sour on me like anyone has.
From people using me for Free Time then hiring someone else, taking my referrals and then stuffing it up, pretending to be my friend and using “Female Charm” to get referrals, to not paying my invoices but asking me to keep working “For Free” – I have had all sort of dirty tricks played on me.
I even had one which was upsetting at the time (but now purely funny) where they used me for tons of extra hours, said they were going to pay me, wouldn’t do it and then said they won’t do business with me anymore. Then they tried to convince me why it was right for them to rip me off and then say many months later ask me to give them referrals. What? Are they on drugs or what?
Anyway, as I giggle after writing that last paragraph with some of the crazy stupidity of bad people out there and bringing it back to the main point most people are awesome but you have a few “Sharks in the Sea”. These days I am totally over it with people who have done the wrong thing by me or my friends. I do remember though what it was first like however and I know many of my great clients and colleagues have gone through these negative experiences in their own way.
Firstly, if you are reading this article – you are more than likely an awesome normal person like myself. You work hard, love helping people and of course want to be madly successful out of it (in whatever “Success” means to you). When good people like you and me not only get taken advantage of, but then the predator then tries to say make you “Feel Guilty” for what they have done – it can make one question themselves. It can create ongoing stress, fatigue, make you question yourself. Outside of the odd misunderstandings (which do happen between good people), the conflict with the “Bad” people can leave lots of negative emotions and hurt behind. This happened to me and many of my friends.
I have had some also use me for my time, my connections and leave me quite embarrassed and red-faced. What I have learned is that when you get “Had”, “Ripped Off”, “Deceived” and the like – it’s important that you remember that you are the good person and someone committed a crime against you. Of course you learn from it, reflect on it and the like – but you make sure you don’t let any of the negative emotions impact on your identity / business thinking. Then as I have done over the past few months, you forget about them and move on! If you say see them again, don’t do anything – just politely avoid them and any form of interaction. There is no benefit in talking to them and after a case is closed there is just no point in any additional conflict.
My advice? Basically I am saying that at the start it will hurt you when someone does bad things to you, but defend yourself quickly and move on and get them out of your mind. There are so many wonderful people out there and every second of emotion you focus on the “Bad People” is one less second you get to focus on the awesome people. And what happens when you focus on awesome people? Your life and business improve – period!
Hope you enjoyed the read and thank you! Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor who is over the people who did bad things to him (yay!)