“You can’t handle the Truth!” is one of my most favourite movie lines which I think really sums up how many of us (especially myself) can feel at times when confronted by “Reality” or “Truth” that is painful to accept.

I don’t know about you, but in the past I have been very guilty of either:

– “Being Positive” and just sticking my head in the sand and pretending the issue is not there.
– “Finding Distractions” or something to do, so I don’t have to deal with the problem (or issue) at hand.

Any logical thinker can easily say “Just Handle The Truth” – but it’s one of those things that are easier said than done.

I remember once I took up work with a very unscrupulous employer (i.e. it’s not just my opinion, if I reveal their name to someone, without any solicitation or bias I often hear a lot of negativity about them).

This was the toughest job of my life in that the job was easy; But the environment was extremely political and cruel. There were cut backs going on and because I chose to do my job properly and focus on the bottom line – I really put a few noses out of joint. In fact, I got some really good results that scared other people – which made them come for me even harder.

So that’s life – but here was my big mistake:

Instead of just saying my work environment sucks and doing something positive about it – I blamed myself for all the problems and took it on.
Because, I took this on and “Blamed Myself” it lowered my Self-Esteem, which then made the problem even worse for me.
What made it even worse, was that someone I was accepting career advice from, just “Blamed it all on Me” and just said things like “Enjoy Your Time There”, “Stop Complaining” and even the good old line of “Be Positive”.

This was my biggest mistake of it all – listening to the wrong person and substituting my common sense for another’s opinion (because I felt they were “Smarter Than Me”).

Now, I am not saying you should complain and blame the world for your problems – I am all for taking personal responsibility.

What this life experience taught me was the importance of:

Accepting the Truth for what it is. That is, you accept your responsibility and hold others responsible for their actions. Don’t blame yourself for Global Warming and at the same time, don’t complain that the cat scratched you after you bit it’s tail. Make up your own mind and be an independent thinker. That if, even if 100 people say you are “Wrong or Stupid” and you know you are not – you stick to your guns.

Be careful who you take advice from. There is nothing wrong with making up your own mind. Even if “You are Wrong” here and there – it doesn’t mean that others advice is anymore accurate than your own.
This was a very painful experience in my life – but that’s good. If you are going through some BS like this, believe me – I can relate to you! After all, you don’t become a tough cookie without being baked in the oven at 220 Degrees for at least 45 minutes?

** Many thanks to soundlessfall from Flickr for the great pic.


4 Responses

  1. Office politics are to be ignored, they never get you anywhere. Plus everyone within a company is replaceable, if you start to think you aren’t replaceable and get lazy because of it then expect to loose your job.

    I currently work on a contract basis for a company and have taken over a project from another guy (who was a really nice guy and all), if he didn’t really know something or something was not working right would basically bullshit, bluff or make some excuse why the product was working a particular way.

    After I started working on the project and found some problems I explained the problem as it was and even if the answer was not what they were expecting or good they still appreciated that I was honest. They could tell when the other person was hiding a problem or didn’t understand what was happening.

    If you lie often enough then eventually you will start to believe your own lies. And at the end of the day yourself is the only person that you have to make happy, and by doing that you will make those around you happy.

    Good post Ed

    PS. I hope my comment makes sense

    • Hi Brad,

      It’s a great comment and makes complete perfect sense! Many thanks for your compliment and it sounds like you are doing a great job and showing this person for what they really are.

      I think what is tough when you get Manager’s (or even owners) that reward employees for negative political behaviour. That is always a slippery slope that doesn’t help the majority – expect for a few egos! (Just pray the “Ego” isn’t your manager!)

      Thanks again and a great response! 🙂
      Ed Zia

  2. I think you have described just about everyone’s life at some time or another. The difference is some people are great at pretending, pretence is the glue which keeps them together and other times you can see they have self esteem issues and rely heavily on what others think because they don’t trust their judgement. Both situations can end in disaster if changes are not made.

    I think it’s important you listen to others so you don’t become complacent but in the end, I have learnt to make up my own mind. I’d rather make a decision and be wrong then having someone else make the decision for me and me spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been if I didn’t listen to that person.

    Great post, I enjoyed reading it very much!

    • Thanks for the reply Lisa! Good points and it looks like all of us learn this lesson the painful way!

      It’s a pity you can’t learn this in a book prior or something 🙂

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