Big Scary Fear when it Comes to Marketing!

One perhaps not so brilliant way of curing fear?

One perhaps not so brilliant way of curing fear?

Fear! Fear! Oh no – big and scary!

Even typing this out makes my hair stand on end – even though I am really taking the mickey out of it.  In my own business on many occasions I have at times been paralyzed by fear.  Sleepless nights, being really anxious, stressing my friends out (thank you so much Simona, Edward and Jenny!) all to find out “Why on earth was I like that?”.

Fear to me is a very strange emotion in the respect of it’s importance.  Even though I am considered by many to be a successful entrepreneur, I deep down sometimes don’t feel that especially when up against a great deal of adversity or when one takes a knock in their business.

Fear again is strange in that originally I used to be “Real Chicken” of everything and did whatever I could not to feel fear! The reality of this move, I did some very stupid things and lost all of my money and destroyed my life.

Fear is almost that contradiction type of emotion, you need a healthy dose! One extreme is pure Ego / Reckless Behaviour  with the other extreme Poor Self Esteem / Anxiety & Paralysis.

The big thing I have learn as a business owner personally and seen play out hundreds of times with the people I have worked directly is the critical importance of getting the balance of “Reckless Vs Anxiety” balance right. This is much easier said then done and I think in many cases it’s natural to go from one extreme to the other!

In terms of when my business talk a big knock in 2011 and even when I launched the Awesome Marketing Vault, it gave me some big insights here into myself and the Pro’s and Con’s of fear.  If you are up against it, I think it’s very important to listen to it in that of giving you signals to do something about it, but when you have – the other side is that you relax and try to take it easy.

Also, I like to remind myself and fearful clients that this happens to everyone! We all feel fear and anxiety which is great – it means we care! But of course, don’t let it take over like I have to me all the time.

Hope you enjoyed this one and a big thank you from Edward Zia!

Up Yours Society: Stop Trying to Control Me!

"Society" Just loves to keep a Tight Grip on Us?

"Society" Just loves to keep a Tight Grip on Us?

Without sounding like a “Conspiracy Theorist” crackpot – Society really does a great job of making us Conform and Brainwashing Us.

This happens for not only sinister intent, but for very very good reasons as well! Right from when we are a child and our parents (who are doing their best) are telling us what we are good at and what we aren’t good at, to the School Yard Evil Bully who is trying to hurt us, right through to Peer Group Pressure and then having to “Conform” in the Corporate Space – Society really doesn’t like us?

No that isn’t true. It is not that society doesn’t “Like Us”, it wants us to behave a certain way.

Now, there nothing wrong with following the Crowd! Seriously – I do mean that!

Where following the Crowd becomes a “Big Issue / Problem” is that if the Market Rewards you for being unique and you are trained to “Fit In” – then you are complete toast. All too many people I have worked with start out really “Shy & Sheepish” and until they really get through all the Conditioning / Brainwashing from Society, they really don’t get results and attract the Clients they deserve!

But if you are in your Own Business or in a Leadership Position where you have to really “Be Unique” and “Market Yourself” – following the crowd is a big problem!

So here is the big, big problem – after 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 110+ years you have been around, how do we all of a sudden “Undo” all that Brainwashing and get over it fast?

The truth is that you can’t. Think about it. You have all these stupid “Positive Thinking” extremists out there who always make out how change is soooo easy (especially when you “Buy” their Products – which they really don’t need you too, because their millionaires right?)

However, through being aware of it and making the gradual transition you can really breakthrough all the boundaries and limitations that society has placed on you and start acting uniquely, getting it across to the market – and benefiting from Higher Priced Services / Offerings as well as an increase in your Client / Customer Base.

In myself, my colleagues and my clients – I have seen a range of key “Self-Limiting” beliefs, which you can really thank “Society” for.

Remember always, 50% of the Journey is awareness. The top 10 dis-empowering lies I have seen include:

1. There is Something Wrong with me.

2. I don’t have what it takes.

3. I am not Pretty / Attractive enough.

4. People just don’t like me.

5. I don’t deserve this because God / Jesus / Allah / Moses / “The Universe” don’t want me too.

6. If I gain something, I will lose something somewhere else.

7. My Husband / Wife / Boy Friend / Girl Friend / Gay Lover / Mistress won’t let me.

8. Because my life sucks because of someone else.

9. Because I am “Happy where I am” (Liar!).

10. I am not intelligent enough to get it done.

And you know what? These are all lies. Depending on how “Conditioned” we are, some of our “Lies” can be very easy to identify – but some can really sit in our subconscious mind and totally FIRE TRUCK up our lives.

So my advice? Let’s start by telling all those people that pushed us around to FIRE TRUCK themselves, and go and get FIRE TRUCKED.

If you were anything like me or many people I know and work with – one day (if not already), you will get sick of this and say “I’m done”.

In fact, what did it for me was being in a relationship with a Woman for many years that who wasn’t inherently evil or anything – but really had a sullen view of themselves and their world. She used to always kill my dreams, put me down – and because of some of the reasons in Part 1) – I really didn’t like myself and therefore convinced myself I deserve her. Was it all her fault? Probably 50 / 50 – but in a way I am grateful for that experience. It pushed me beyond and made me sick of trying to “Fit In”.

So that is my story and what is yours? How does it relate? What have people down to you? What have you done to yourself? I don’t know your own personal circumstances or problems; however I have got some general tips developed from the hundreds of people I have worked with over the years:

1. Cut the Lies – Stop telling yourself all the negative stuff. By all means if you do something wrong tell yourself negative stuff, but if you are doing your best and you are just being “Negative” to yourself for no reason – stop it now. It’s Society talking!

2. Respect Yourself – This is not about “Being Arrogant” or putting others down. It’s about having a realistic and “Good-Natured” appreciation of you. After all, don’t appreciate or have any respect for yourself – you reckon anyone else will?

3. Fight the Good Fight – Don’t let those Positive Thinking Extremists lie to you! The minute you plan your “Flag” and say this is me; people are going to attack you! This is called anything from “Tall-Poppy Syndrome” right through to “Conformism”. It’s all good to say “Be Your Own Person”, but there are many out there that don’t want that. Watch out – they will come for you so be prepared!

4. Balance “Positive & Negative” Thinking – Don’t do what I did and “Pretend” the world is a safe, happy place where everything is full of rainbows, sunshine and wheelbarrows of money arriving at your door step. The world is full of great people as well as thieves, murderers, liars and people who use Apple Mac’s (PC is better!).

5. Protect Others – Doing your own thing is a tough journey and in the process, people will like what you are doing and you will inspire them to do the same thing (in fact, a lot come and join you!). It is hard starting out, so make sure you help your fellow man!

6. Treat Yourself Well – This doesn’t mean buying an Expensive Car with your Credit Card or eating 1.2kg of Cadbury Chocolate. This means “Appropriately” looking after you with Healthy Food, Relationships and “Non-Destructive” activities.

7. Cut the Addictions – Food, Drugs, Sex, Pornography, Drama, TV, Internet, Smoking etc. Addictions are easy to pick up, so if you have some addictions start working on them. Going “Cold Turkey” is easy for some, hard for others. Remember, you may have to quit something 10 times, until the 11th you really knock it for good!

8. Develop a Plan – Just “Being Yourself” is vague. Make sure you really think through why you want it and what you big goal is. Lose some weight? Look after your family? Make some more bucks?

9. Be “Intelligent” – God & Jesus Christ gave you a brain. Don’t be a “Positive Thinking” wacko and stuff things up. Use your brain and make intelligent moves.

10. Start – Talking about it never works. Start the process. Tell you stupid Boyfriend / Girlfriend to go away, put down the fork – start taking vitamins, work harder – just do something to get you going the right way!

This process isn’t easy – but the sooner you start the better. I wasted at least 15 years of my life being sucked into “Societal Brainwashing”. It’s hard getting out of it – but once you start too, you will never look back!

I wish I learnt this one 20 years ago! 🙂

Success: Turning Up 1 Time More after Everyone Quits!

Learning to Overcome Rejection - Oww, it hurt's about here?

Learning to Overcome Rejection – Oww, it hurt’s about here?

To me this is a very profound concept. In not just my own Small Business, but when I used to Job Hunt – I really learnt how hard the “Real World” can actually be.  My great Mother (God Bless Her) is an amazing woman and Ex-Inspector in the Police Force. She was beaten up for years by an Abusive Father (alcoholic you name it!), fought with the UN (in Peace Keeping Operators and had fought in real gun battles) and seen lots of people die in front of her.

This realism gave her a great grounding in the respect that she used to tell me “The World is a Tough Place”, “It’s Hard” and Success if often turning up 1 time more after everyone else quits.

If anything, I have learnt that I should have listened to my mother more often! But oh no, her comes all the “Positive Thinkers” out of the woodwork. They come along, hype you up and make out with their tools or a “Simple, Dog-Easy to Follow Strategy” you can make $1,000,000 / Min without leaving the house.

You and I are intelligent people. You and I know that they are probably one of two things:

– Lying to rip you off, show off, or take advantage of you.
– Have had Mummy & Daddy pay for everything and have had a sheltered life.

In my experience, it’s usually about 60% / 40% – or a combination of both. The reality is that the “Pain / Avoidance of Rejection” kills many Small Businesses and prevents many of us getting the Promotions in our Careers that we deserve.

My mum always said you got to take the pain. You got to stick at it. You got to survive the longest. It’s such a true lesson, the people who often succeed aren’t the “Smarter” ones or the “Better Looking” ones, it’s the ones that stick at it beyond everyone else that quits.

So why do we ignore mums advice? Because it’s painful! In our own business, we get so much rejection. And it’s tough! But once you get over the fact that it’s “Tough” and enjoy the process, the “Law of Averages” kick in.

If you only meet 1 person a day and get rejected – it’s soul crushing! If you meet 10 people a day and get rejected 8 times – it’s great! (Because you have 2 wins!). I know it can suck at times. I know it can feel really bad when you get rejected.

But when you avoid rejection, you are avoiding the possibility of growing your business, getting that dream job – or even finding a partner! My advice to you – EMBRACE REJECTION! It’s not easy at the start, but I can promise you – each day you do it, it becomes that bit easier. And to all you lying “Positive Thinkers” out there – grow up! Treat others and yourself with honesty and respect!

Boy – I wish I learnt this 20 years ago!

Why Does Society Want us to Conform and Not Think?

Isn't it fun doing what we are told?

Hey you stupid and delusional “Positive Thinkers” out there!I have a new challenge for you – if the world is such an “Abundant” and “Nice” place, then why does it not accept us and want to change us all the time? “Society” “Brainwashing” and “Conditioning” us is nothing new, in fact – such ideas are often discussed and has really become an issue in modern Pop Culture today. Still however, if you think back to the days we are born to modern day adults, it’s almost at every turn “Society” and people in it are making us “Conform” to something.

In fact, don’t you feel that we are continually being:

– Told what to think? – Told what to wear? – Told what is appropriate? – Told what is inappropriate? – And Controlled in some way?

Don’t get me wrong, I really do believe in the rule of law and all that – otherwise, if there weren’t some kind of structure or laws – it would lead to a complete anarchy that is no good for anyone. Obviously you can’t run around “Shooting People” or going to Woolworth’s naked (all though it would be a very funny prank on the latter!

What I am more directing this at is more on a “Subtle” level. That is, when we are in the workplace, we have to be “Politically Correct” all the time, we can’t speak out against certain people who are protected by management (for whatever stupid / lame reason) or even when you have a circle of friends with certain “Political” or “Religious” beliefs – you say something the “Group” disagrees with, well don’t you wind up an outcast fast!

On a very odd note, when I became a “Born Again” Christian, I was warned non-stop that people will try and bring you down and all this stuff. Strangely enough that never happened! But when I became a Vegetarian and had a thing against killing animals, I was all of a sudden “Strange”, “Stupid” and “Against the System”.

It’s like WTF!! Why is everyone so trying to get us to fit in? Where did it become such a crime to do your own thing? Why can’t people accept differences? Not just me, but a lot of people I know have come down to this type of conclusion, that is: We are trained at a basic level by society that being “Different” is “Wrong”.

Schools, books and stuff all play “Lip-Service” to the concept that we are individuals, but come on – a few years in the playground or in the workplace would make one realise otherwise! So where am I going with all this?

If we spend our lives living into a “Shell” by what’s imposed on us and is not truly what we want, we can go on having incredibly average, mediocre (and often poorly paid) lives! So here is the problem, we get all “Positive” and start creating something “New” and then what happens? As we change, society (i.e. people we know, the workplace etc) all grabs us and tries to bring us back down again. Or in some other cases unfortunately, the “Positive Thinkers” trying to change us, may be doing it for sinister financial reasons.

My suggestion is for anyone (that like me) was leading a life that you didn’t pick – is to really stand back and think about what you want. This can be really hard if you have had years of being “Society’s Bitch” (as I did and still do to some extent).

When you find out what you want and you know its the right thing, be willing to make a stand for what you believe in – and go for it! Just watch out for those extremists, i.e. “Negative Thinkers” who want to keep you in your place and “Positive Thinkers” from Cults who are trying to extort your hard earned cash!

I wish I learn this stuff 20 years ago!!

Let’s Go and Beat Up “Positive Thinkers” that Lie to Us. Tonight. Come On?

Let’s Go Beat the Scum Bag Lying “Positive Thinkers” Silly!

I am sick and tired of stupid, dumb, “Lame Positive Thinkers” that barely understand a topic themselves and then go and sell seminars – or write a book on “How Great They Are” and how this book – will just change your life.

I had this very strange experience recently.  Although I am a Marketing Guy & a Business Coach – I have really built my expertise lately as a Social Media Marketer (i.e. YouTube, LinkedIn, this Blog etc). I don’t sell myself in Social Media, however in my own Peer Group – I have become the person to go to with Social Media.

Now, I am not “Yanking My Own” chain or telling you I am wonderful or anything – I know much better people at Social Media than me (but I’m pretty good, considering it’s not my Primary Business).

This one person I know walked up to me and said they want to be a “Social Media Consultant” and do “Seminars” and “Stuff”.  Wow – that is great, this person didn’t even know what LinkedIn was until several months ago.  I am no expert on Social Media, but this person would know 1/20 of what I know (and I would know 1/10 of some of the Social Media pro’s which I know).

What really disgusted me about this process, was that I suggested we should have a chat and you need to get some work done – but this person was still going ahead with it.

This really annoys me.  I was out of work about 4 years ago and I picked the wrong so-called “Business Coach” to help me.  They had no idea! In fact, in hindsight – they made so many mistakes and charged me a pretty penny!

So from all the tired, ripped of people out there to all the stupid, pathetic, lying “Positive Thinking” sods out there – as Stewie Griffin from Family Guy says “Go to Hell”.  Not just me, but many of us are sick and tired of these frauds that run around and take our money.  So, if you are one of these people – I really suggest you take a good hard look at yourself.  Be honest, develop some skills and sell a product of integrity.

If you are not – seriously, you will end up in hell.  Because the world (and me) are sick and tired of you shonks just ripping us off.  So to all the good people out there – Be very careful when you hear claims “Too Good to Be True” – they unfortunately usually are! Do your homework and if someone has some “Great Skill” which they are trying to sell you to you – make sure you know that they know what they are on about!

So, please go out and beat up some “Positive Thinking” scammers tonight.  They deserve nothing but justice (I am kidding of course! Don’t break any laws, but at least “Legally” give them a piece of your mind!).

If you find a way to “Legally” beat them up – then let me know, there are a lot of shonks out there that I would love to practically demonstrate “Pavement Justice” too.  Be careful out there! It’s a Jungle! I wish I learn this stuff 20 years ago!

Eric Cartman: Is the only cure for Hate, More Hate?

If the World is such a Positive Place, then why are we still Fighting Wars?

Love or Hate Eric Cartman – he really leads the boys in South Park and has an uncanny sense of street wise smarts.

With all the “Positive Thinking” extreme trash out in the marketplace, I have seen some amazing extremes from both these perspectives.  I have sat there and watched “Positive Thinking” videos by incredibly delusional “Positive Thinkers” that will sit there and tell you the world is such a wonderful place, there is so “Much Abundance”, through “Visualization” wars will end and if you stuck 4 Wheels on me and paint me Red – I would become a fire truck.

OK – Let’s run with this Positive Extreme for a second and pretend it has some kind of Credibility.  If you defend this line of thinking, then please answer these questions for me:

– If the world is such a “Positive Place” then why does 50% of the world live in Poverty? (50% may be a bit of a rough estimate, but I know it’s really high – just go and ask Bono or someone like that).

– The poor Wife who get’s beaten by her husband for 20 years – are you telling me she lives in an Abundant world?

– The poor person in a wheelchair – is that Abundant?

– Living under ruthless dictators such as Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi, Kim Jong Il or Fidel Castro – is that Abundant, and would visualizing them “Going Away” make it happen?

You may think I am being Brutal, but come on – don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. These “Positive Thinking” morons write books, sugar coat everything so you simply purchase their products.  After all – if “Visualization” and “Positive Thinking” is so powerful – then why don’t those poor Starving people in North Korea have large houses, a fully stocked refrigerator and the ability to choose where they want to have dinner that night?

Eric Cartman’s line from South Park  “The only way to fight hate … is with MORE hate!” – doesn’t sound very nice.  In fact it sounds disgusting.  But in certain situations – it’s very true!

Hitler is an obvious example, but a current example today are the poor people in Libya fighting the evil and oppressive regime of Colonel Gaddafi.  Lot’s of people have died at the hands of this mad-man, and unless he is stopped – plenty more people will die.

So you “Positive Thinkers” out there who have never left your house, had Mommy & Daddy pay for house & car and have almost no real world experience – I challenge you to respond to this post.  Don’t just say “I’m Wrong” as I get from you guys quite often, I am really open to a credible counter argument on this point (i.e. if I am “Wrong” as you always tell me, then convince me otherwise).  In this case, Eric Cartman is on the money – sometimes, you have to fight “Fire with Fire” and “Hate with Hate”.

We live in a beautiful, yet dangerous world and in dangerous times.  Freedom certainly isn’t “Free” and if we don’t stand up to dictators in the world, or even bullies in our own workplaces and lives – things are only going to get worse for us.  Am I saying running around being fully charged with Hate? Of course not – but sometimes, situations beyond our control call for this type of approach.  Be careful out there, it’s a jungle!

“Positive Thinking” & How the Government Dominates Us?

You Just Need to Be “More Positive”

The Government, The Greens and many leftist factions right are really taking over Australia and punishing the masses.  Two of their clever tricks are “Labelling” and “Positive Thinking”.

That is, if you aren’t a fan of the Carbon Tax – let’s say due to the ideas of jobs going overseas, weakening the economy or you just can barely afford to survive financially as it is – the Leftist and the Government just label us:

– “Anti-Environmentalists”.

– “Global Warming Deniers”.

– “Negative”

– Etc Etc.

It’s really sad in Australia how people in the Media and the Government is really limiting free speech.  That is, the minute we disagree with something – they just attack us with the other extreme.   Just because we don’t want to destroy the Australian economy – we get accused by the far left of crazy ideas that we love “Destroying Forests” or whatever.

Unfortunately, these people really understand how to use “Labelling” and “Positive Thinking” against us.  Because, unless we agree with them – they just use these horrible labels and call us “Negative” and make out we are “Bad” people and the like.

Then, if you get sucked into their arguments, they con you into just being “Positive” so you just become Passive and don’t question or do anything about it.  “Positive Thinking” can be dangerous in the wrong hands, they use it as a weapon to dampen people with opposing arguments. Be careful it’s a jungle out there! Remember, the Government and these Leftist Factions are political machines and experts in manipulation.  As long as you remain aware what they are doing – they won’t suck you in!

[Edward’s Comment years later: Oh yeah, Tony Abbott is Prime Minster.  Yeah! We won in the end, ha ha to all you silly socialists out there!]