When we Say Goodbye to Special People…

Be it love, friends, family or whatever the case may be - as grief stricken as we are, it can pay to always remember the good times...

Be it love, friends, family or whatever the case may be – as grief stricken as we are, it can pay to always remember the good times…

There is certainly something in the water / air right now where many of us have had to say Goodbye to special people in our lives. I have had a close friend lose a family member, a friend had a long-term pet that died, another friend had their “Grown up Children” move out on them, couples have split up and talking personally – I have had an amazing & special woman in my life (who I greatly miss & always shall) move on.

For me and others at some point in life, it can be a sad time of grieving for many. Personally, many consider me to be “One Tough Cookie” which is very fair. I am known to be very reliable and tough in extreme situations (which I suppose I am proud of).

One thing I would never get used too is losing good people in our lives.  If you are reading this article, I bet you have lost people close to you and forgetting Right, Wrong, Intentional, Accidental, For the Better / Worse – when we lose someone close to us it can really rock the fabric of our world and make moving on a challenge even at the best of times.

If you are like me, it can be an emotional rollercoaster in dealing with the emotions and pain of loss in these situations. A very long time ago, I once had my partner (in a work and personal sense) die on me and even though I was quite young at the time – you never forget amazing people in your life.

I am obviously not a psychologist, but what I can say is that when you feel the loss of someone close to you it’s very challenging. Especially if you are say the head of your family, in business by yourself with a massive workload and a lot of projects on your plate.  There are plenty of different models out there for grief and after a bit of “Pop Psychology” and “Light Google Research” on my part, I quite like this model worded in many different ways:

1) Denial, Ignorance & Isolation

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression & Sadness

5) Acceptance

Obviously if you lose a close partner, compared to a partner, compared to a friend you know relatively well – I am sure this process can be quite shorter / different.

One thing I really have realized in this process is that “Ignoring” or “Resisting” the emotions it the worst thing you can do. For myself and some of my friends, we are all going through this process right now in one form or another.  For me, “Depression & Sadness” are not my thing – and being here right now is obviously something I want to move through as quickly as possible.

My advice & thinking in the heat of the moment? “Acceptance” or getting over a key loss I think will come from ultimately changing the way we think and process information.  We are social spiritual beings and no Right / Wrong – losing someone close to us will mess with our heads and hurt us in key ways.  Still – I think it’s great to remember the good times…

It’s a process that no one likes to go through and what has helped me is working my way through the process as quickly as possible. I realize / accept (with pain) that I have lost a great person very close to me and my life is continue on without them. The challenge for me is seeing something new out of this and gaining a new sense of satisfaction from exploring the world around me.

If you are feeling the burn like I am now, whether I know you or not, whether I shall meet you or not, I just wanted to say I hope you’re grieving goes as quickly as possible and your new thinking / realizations from the process help you create a new life even better than before your loss.

Love your work, God Bless you and thank you for reading this (means a lot to me x x).