The Ups and Downs of being a Business Person!

Myself (Edward Zia) and Jenny Kuo, one fine business woman who witnesses my highs and lows often!

Myself (Edward Zia) and Jenny Kuo, one fine business woman who witnesses my highs and lows often!

This blog post I dedicate to the wonderful Jenny Kuo (from Sociable Space). She is this fine business woman who I originally hired to help me with her reputation marketing services over time.  On a funny note, she hired me right back and we have become personal friends over a short period of time.

In working with her on some quite intense projects, in a very short space of time we have both been through some big ups & downs together.  One thing I noticed about business (especially when one is starting up), is that in the early days the “high’s are high” and the “low’s are low”.

That is, many people (including me) felt like death warmed up the most of the time, you get a win and you feel euphoric – then say a bit later you all feel bummed out again not realizing your dreams the way you want!

Many say for business you need a “good mindset” and that I couldn’t agree more! If anything in looking back, technically and skill wise I am beyond question when it comes to marketing – but like many, my own personal mindset was always holding me back.

Without being too general, it was mostly:

– Feeling scared and pessimistic about the future.

– Being freaked out by so called “competition”

– Over-work and exhaustion and then “hitting the wall!”

As I write this article I am in the process of hiring staff to help me out in my business as I have just too much administration which is hurting me.  I work say a full day then have hours of administration when I get home which is just no good.  I have done some crazy hours this week, eaten so much junk food and today I feel like pure heck!

Jenny tends to watch me go through my “overwork” cycles and she always gives good commentary and trying to get me to slow down – she is right, but the problem of when your business is expanding is that you got to keep up the with it!

So the point of this article, I think is the highs and lows of business.  You are well rested, closed a client the day before and you feel awesome! Then the opposite, you lose a client, things are quiet, you are exhausted and physically sick and crash!

In watching Jenny do it, myself doing it, almost all of my clients doing it – and then meeting with clients while they are in the thick of it – it’s given me I think a new maturity on accepting the highs and lows of life! As Ralph Rintoule this fantastic property investor I work with says:

– “In life, S*$T happens, so get used to it!”

Great advice and great maturity! I think my personal experience from all this comes too:

– “You have rough days, rough weeks! But they don’t last forever!”.

So as I work away, I am eating vegetable soup – going to hit bed soon and make sure I am back on my game tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this too – very appreciated and you are welcome to drop me a line at edward@excellenceabove.com.au if you want to connect!

Wasting Time: It’s just so Addictive and Fun – Why Stop?

Wasting time is way more fun than working right?

I am soo busy.  Yet I am playing on Facebook.  I am soo busy. Yet, I am playing games.  I am soo busy.  Yet, I have time to talk rubbish at the office.  I am soo busy.  I am so just important. And the list goes on.

Lately, I have started to realize some of the lies I am indulging in.  As I am getting much busier, I realize that I must find a way of getting more done.

Now, I don’t mean that egotistically or being impatient with people, I more mean where “I myself” just waste time for no other reason.  I have been really looking over in “What I actually do” each day and working out what needs to be cut out so I can get more done of “What I actually want”.

So far, I have found that my biggest time wasters are:

– Worrying about things outside of my control.

– Eating junk foods that slow me down (albeit I rarely do that these days).

– Thinking “too much” about things, instead of just doing them.

– Over checking my emails.

– Talking “Too much” to other people at the office (although it’s much less than I used too).

There are probably more of these, but what I can tell you is just by fixing most of the above – it would give me much more time that I would believe.

Now I am asking myself, “Why on earth?” and I addicted to wasting time? Now, I am getting on the right track – I have these “Strange Urges” to go back into these old patterns.

In not just myself (but almost everyone I know) is that we all “Develop” these strange time wasting patterns, that don’t actually work in our better interests but give us a “Secondary Payoff” such as:

– The excitement of Drama (over-watching General Hospital or Dynasty).

– The ego inflation of importance (we are “So Busy” and “So Damn Important”).

– The fun of avoiding work (if I am talking to a work colleague, I don’t have to face my work problems).

– The pleasure of indulgence (getting drunk with friends is so much fun and because I am hung-over I don’t have to work as hard today).

It’s quite odd, even when I list these out “Logically” I know that myself and most people I know have been guilty of such “Time Suckers”.

Like many addictions, we all get a short-term payoff from them, but often face much larger (and not always instant) consequences. I am actually finding, just by cutting back on these “Time Suckers” I have more and more time available! Strangely enough, the time was always there but as I didn’t have the pressure – I never felt compelled to really look at what I do and access it.  But, old habits die hard (but they do die!).

I have to say though, Wasting Time is very addictive! I am glad I am finally “Getting over myself” and really starting to act in my own best interests.

Being Competitive Makes The World a Miserable Place?

I am a very competitive person.  In a crazy way, I had this “Like / Dislike” relationship with it and I was always never sure of whether it is really good for me or not.

I “Liked” being competitive in that it always seemed to get more out of me, but at the same time I didn’t like it.

After all? If you’re competitive by nature, what happens in an area where someone blows you out of the water?

You get very unhappy real fast.  And if you think about it, regardless of almost any area in our lives – let’s face it, there is a good chance that there is someone better than you.

Let’s say you get really buff at the gym, you still aren’t Mr. Universe? What about you earn $200K+ one year, well there are a lot of millionaires in the world which you aren’t? What if your business grows at 20%+ year on year – well, you still aren’t as big as Facebook or Google?

One of the biggest problems in my own psychology was that I had been too competitive with other people. That is, I think being “Competitive” is excellent, however in the way Michael Jordon applies it in being:

– Competitive with your own personal best.

To me this is a very strange, but liberating concept in the sense that if you are simply competing “With Yourself” it makes life a lot more fun and easier.  In addition as well, when you choose to stop “Competiting” with every man and his dog – you can actually really focus on your own Goals / Outcomes in a way that makes sense to you.

What painfully taught me this lesson was in learning how to Trade the Forex Markets (i.e. Currency Markets).  Because I just had to be “Better than everyone else” it really caused me to ignore the basics and not learn the fundamentals.  This basically meant I wasted lots of time “Changing what I was doing” so I could “Beat” other people in my reference group.

Instead of just taking it slowly at my own pace, ignoring everyone else – I kept getting sucked into what everyone else was doing.  In addition, if someone is just a “Brilliant Trader” leagues beyond me, I would instantly be put off in that I would instantly think “I am a failure or doing something wrong”.  No – it’s just that in this area, someone is getting a better result than me – so what?

I then felt very bad about it and found out – it’s a common trading mistake.

It’s also not a trading mistake – as I have found that in many areas in society this type of thinking is a big problem for a lot of people.  “Keeping up the Joneses” thinking can lead to excessive levels of debt, poor young girls (who are convinced they are “Fat” by some photo-shopped model on a fashion magazine) feel bad all the time and in extreme cases can even die from eating disorders, people use unethical workplace political tricks to undermine others who are “Beating Them” and the list goes on.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting in anyway that we “Stop Trying” or use this as an excuse.  I have just learnt (and also observed from a lot of top players) that when you start playing your own game, is when the results really come in. That is, if you are really competitive with other people – you are actually saying to the world “I don’t believe in my own journey, goals or outcomes”.

Think about it – if you were on what you know is the “True Path” for your life – who cares if someone can run faster than you or has a better car?  If you feel the need to “Compete” with others as I did, then I can bet you that you either don’t know what you are after or have lost sight of what you were once after.

Why is it Okay to get Fat Over Christmas?

Man I ate over Christmas.  I mean really ate.  I think I ate about $45 worth of Chocolate myself and at least $20 worth of Potato Chips on top of it.  Even though I “Lemon Fasted” the weight off so I am now break-even (with Pre-Christmas) – I really justified to myself that it is “Okay” to overeat.  Normally, I don’t overeat to this extreme – however, psychologically I made up a great “Story” to tell myself to justify my behaviour.  That is, I said to myself:

– Well, it’s my parents so it’s okay.

– It’s only 1 time a year.

– It’s Christmas and you are meant to over eat.

– I will lose it after Christmas.

The thing that I learned is that many people who put on weight over Christmas, don’t end up losing it.  That is, even though one may come up with a “Story” giving them “Permission” to overeat, they often don’t lose it. And unfortunately, life then gets in the way.  That is, I have made up great “Stories” such as:

– [Wifes Birthday] – It’s a celebration so I will lose it tomorrow.

– [Easter] – It’s Easter and you are meant to eat lots of Easter Eggs.

– [Weekends] – Well, I worked all week – so I deserve a break.

– [Ed’s Birthday] – Well, come on?

And So On.

These are some of the stories I have told myself previously and after speaking to lots of people – I have seen very similar “Stories” come up.

Another word for these “Stories” is actually “Excuses” or put more elegantly – “Reasons”.

This Christmas, I actually did much better than previously.  Still – not happy with my performance, but it’s okay.  When I brought “Conscious” attention to the “Subconscious” reasons I was giving myself to indulge – I really had a close think as to why I am coming up with these reasons to begin with.

Overeating…….

It relaxed me and calmed me.  But, addictions always have some type of “Short Term Payoff”. I totally understand why people with addictions can say:

– I can quit anytime I want.

It’s a great “Excuse” “Reason” to justify a something that delivers a “Short-Term” payoff, with heavy consequences.

Does my Subconscious Mind Make Me do Stupid Stuff?

The short answer is Yes.  My Subconscious Mind also makes me do quite brilliant things. One point of interest that I have found fascinating lately is how powerful our subconscious minds are in terms of controlling what we do. That is:

– Our Subconscious mind controls 90%+ of our behaviour and then our “Ego” claims responsibility for it.

I find that incredibly amazing in that with the old cliche example: Driving a Car.  When you first learn it’s like performing open heart surgery on a Live Tiger, but after several years you can drive a car, eat a Big Mac (or in my case a Falafel Roll being a Vegetarian) and talk on your Mobile Phone while picking lint out of your pocket – and still make it home in one piece.

Sometimes, I have noticed that I do some really stupid stuff and I think “Where the hell did that come from?”.  For example, at least once a week I drive on “Autopilot” and try to “Drive Home” when I am clearly going somewhere else.

Conversely, sometimes at work I do quite complex actions while half asleep or thinking about what I am going to eat for lunch or dinner that night. That is totally amazing yet scary, 90%+ of our behaviour is not controlled by us consciously! Besides learning this in my current Coaching Course, it has been repeated many times in that you have to be careful what you feed your mind.  That is if you:

– Watch TV Ads too much.

– Watch Biased News too much.

– Listen to the “Wrong” people too much.

You can get subconsciously brain washed and do things against your own interest! A good example of mine previously has been letting some unethical colleagues or bosses influence me on “What I am capable of and what I am not”.

I have some good friends that “Buy unnecessary stuff” as a result of clever Marketers and Advertisers getting into the mind without their conscious awareness.

The good news is that by putting the “Right Stuff into your mind” and spending time watching the “Right Stuff” and hanging out with the “Right People” is that you can program your subconscious mind the other way. It looks like I better stop (or at least limit) watching South Park. Rats!