I was very lucky to reconnect today with an old friend who I have lots of respect for. She is quite an entrepreneur, social person and someone with a real honest heart. This person asked to remain confidential and I have totally respected that. She knows who she is and how cool she is!
I haven’t actually seen her Face to Face in a few years now and I remember we had some similar challenges that we laughed off together. At one of our meetings, she wasn’t too happy about a group of people un-friending her on Facebook for being herself. Likewise at the time too, I wasn’t exactly too happy about having some people not hire me, choose someone else and then tell me how much “More Awesome” that person was than me.
Basically, she is quite an influential character and at the time much of my own influence was building. The bit that surprised me was how nice she is and the obvious question came up for me:
– How can you Unfriend / Unlike / Unfollow someone with an Honest Heart like her?
As several years passed to today, I was very lucky to see my own reputation emerge in in my industry. The thing I found really funny about all this was that as you become regarded as a “Leader” per se – people treat you differently.
Not better, not worse – just differently. I get that everyone has a given style which isn’t compatible with everyone and sure people are going to unlike me on Facebook, Unsubscribe and all that from my newsletters. Cool! No problem with that and get it.
The more funny point of what I am coming too in referencing my friend and what I have found are that:
– We have had people we have HELPED Unfriend Us!
Yes I have had! I think it’s been a very funny experience and some people are just weirdoes that probably don’t even make sense to themselves. My friend had some health problems and posted about it on Facebook and a stack of people “Unfriended” her. I once helped a person get their business going, refer them a stack of work and they unfriended me on Facebook. A person who I promoted readily and gave thousands of dollars of business too backstabbed me and just turned on me.
I do remember at the time when you are getting used to it, that experience can most distressful. My old friend and I would share notes on how upsetting it can be when you are starting out. You are new, timid, shy, putting your thoughts out there and BAM someone trolls you, you get an email from someone not liking you or a someone you considered a friend does something bad to you / moves on.
It happens in the crazy modern world and what I find really cool is that the more it happens, the more of a healthy perspective you get on it. I have found over the years that people you help that do bad things to you usually don’t have a lot of friends, lack success themselves and it’s not personal. That is, sure – they are doing something bad to you, but they would do the same thing to everyone else. The reality is that the bigger you get and the more well known – people tend to love or hate you. It doesn’t matter how great you are or what you do help – some people just have very twisted value systems and I think a lot of their hostility comes out of pure jealousy.
My friend would be known as quite an attractive, affluent and intelligent woman. What does that bring out in some bad people who don’t have that? Plenty on destructive envy which I think is the source of much of this behaviour.
I have lot of people coming to me going through the emotion and hurt of this this and I feel quite sad for them. However, I have my Top 7 x Tips to Deal with people doing this type of thing to you:
1) Suck it Up! It does take a bit of getting used too. I have done some great blogs that have been seen by thousands and been trolled many times too.
2) Be a Smart-Ass to Trolls: If someone trashed my FB post or my blog, I give them attitude and they usually disappear as they are spineless anyway. In fact at times, my friends jump on hitting them which is just fun.
3) Deal with your own issues: If say someone you don’t know trashes your blog and it upsets you, it probably isn’t anything to do with them. It’s just bringing up some of your own issues, so look deep within and resolve them. For me, I used to have had have everyone “Approve of Me” (stuff from my childhood). Once I dealt with those issues, life was more awesome!
4) Look at the people Unfriending / Trolling You: They usually suck! In fact, the people who I have Unfriending / Trolling me – if I know them, they are usually weak and not very nice people (and they have lots of enemies).
5) Look at the results you are bringing in: We are naturally driven to notice negative behaviour more. I get probably 199 compliments for every troll / negative comment however the human brain can focus on that 0.5% and ignore all the good stuff. We can be emotional beings!
6) Be Driven by You & Not People: I am driven by my own ideas and contribution – make sure it comes from within then you don’t care.
7) Post More & Harder! The more people attack my views, the harder I post and the stronger I get. After all, you got to take out the trash & teach them a lesson right?
I trust these fine tips help you and show those Trolls / People who Unfriend you on Facebook who the boss it! My poor friend really got nailed by some meanies and it’s good to remember that. They suck and YOU ARE AWESOME!
About the Author:
Edward Zia is a Marketing Mentor, 4Networking Leader and Commentator. He loves creating a bit of discussion and giving smart-ass remarks to Trolls. However, if you are reading this article – you must be totally awesome so feel free to say something nice to Edward . Also, if you need a hand with your Sales & Marketing too, check out Ed’s Premium Home Study Course “The Awesome Marketing Vault by Edward Zia” – right here right now!