I Will Feel Good after My First Win?

Luke Goodman speaking to a fine room of business owners! Our dedication!

Luke Goodman speaking to a fine room of business owners! Our dedication!

I have had an amazing day today and can’t believe the satisfaction I get from my life these days. I have spent time at 4Networking Penrith today (an amazing Network for Small Business Owners) and quality consulting time with Luke Goodman (LOL Home Loans) and Jenny Kuo (Sociable Space).

In dedicating this article to the both of these fine start-ups, it got me reflecting on my own success (or perhaps lack of it at the start). Including my own reflection on my own poor start-up and working with people who are going through what I went through, it got me reflecting on this big “Chicken & Egg” issue we all contend with in one way or another:

– I will feel good when I get results!
– BUT because I don’t feel good, I am not motivated to get results!

This is one sick cycle that I got caught up in and there is no easy way around it. Despite all the motivational courses (I spent about $20,000+ on Tony Robbins), training, positive thinking, “Magic Cures” and all those “Spiritual / Hippie” things you can do out there – for us telling the truth in the real world, this process sucks for most!

I think it sucks even more if you are like me let’s say, I come from a Military / Police / Agent family ancestry which is all about “Not Making Mistakes”, following clear rules and getting it perfect every time.

And that I did! High Distinction at University in a fairly challenging course and always did “The Right” thing for my employers (another story – my dedication to my employers almost was the death of me). But here is the thing, when you start your business you have NO money, your partner probably hates you (because you are bringing in no money) and your life is one mistake after another.

So for that reason, we can feel very bad and this feeling to a “Point” can be good and motivating, but we all tend to go too far where it leads to pure destruction! The big thing I have learnt to get through this process (in what I did and what I suggest to my awesome clients):

– Accept that the process is hard.
– Approach things with realism.
– Make sure you have enough money to cover you and your family doesn’t starve.
– Go Hard!
– Weather the Storm!
– Get your First Result.
– Then Feel Good!

This was my own personal process and if you are in that hard feeling start-up phase, I feel for you! Please hang in there and feel free to drop me a line if you want to say hello!  Thank you again Luke & Jenny – you are fine avatars to the hundreds of thousands of Start-Ups across the world and the ones to come!

With Gratitude and Love from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor who spent some time on the bottom!

Negative Thinking: How did it stop me from being a loser?

This potent image reminds me of some of my darker days. Instead of doing something about it, I used Positive Thinking to keep me a loser. Learnt from my mistakes if you are making them!

This potent image reminds me of some of my darker days. Instead of doing something about it, I used Positive Thinking to keep me a loser. Learnt from my mistakes if you are making them!

I love negative thinking, it’s absolutely fantastic and since I have constructively engaged negative thinking instead of that lame positive thinking, my life is miraculously working all of a sudden.

“Positive thinking” cost me thousands and set my life back years and what I find very interesting is this whole blog.  When I originally created it, I had this incorrect view that “I was going out on a limb” and it would generate controversy hence interest.  After about 2 years of the blog and not being long away from 20,000 views it has generated almost no controversy – it seems to be the view of many that get’s little attention these days in a sea over stupid “positive thinking” tools which are based on some “reality” of the author.

What has made me really reflect on my life in the context of wasting it with “delusional and wishful positive thinking” lately is not only working through it myself and actually succeeding doing the almost pure opposite – is being taken advantage of quite badly recently and meeting people who were in my position.  Putting it all into context, I am using it as a means of helping people – which I think is great and at least “justifies” to myself why I went through all that.

Lately I have developed a great deal of respect for the virtues of negative thinking and really considering things in a pragmatic and realistic manner.  In many instances in my life, I was in situations which I knew weren’t good for me – but instead of applying a bit of critical thinking and working my way out of it, I would sit there and “wish” things were better – and then go on the “positive thinking” band-wagon to my own detriment.  Am I sitting here saying be a negative nancy and saying life sucks?

Well, I am actually saying yes.  If your life / business / career / relationship sucks – be a “negative nancy” and admit it.  Where I went wrong was the next step afterwards, instead of taking some type of action – “positive thinking” kicks in to sugar-coat the jagged, bitter tasting and poisonous pill.

In my mid to late 20’s I had some extremely great career / employment success and in the post-GFC world things were never the same.  It took me quite a bit of time to admit things weren’t what they used to be and I started to reject all the years of positive BS I have been exposed too.  In the final days of before going into my own business and working in that direction, I used negative thinking with extreme power and concluded:

– Like it or not, my “employment” career is over.  That is, in this future all the jobs are low pay / high stress compared to the “milk and honey” days.

– Like it or not, a business mindset is something I DO NOT possess, so I better do what it takes to obtain one.

– Like it or not, I am going to have to push myself very hard.

– Like it or not, my success will be based on tough decisions and sacrifice.

– Like it or not, many will try and oppose what I am going to do.

All of the above was true, but my own personal vision really pushed me through a lot of the pain barrier.  I remember the days of getting my first client! I will proudly say it was Kings William Chiropractor in Five Dock (Sydney, Australia) – and I still work with them to this day and they are great (besides being my own personal chiropractor).

That was my first win to convince me of the new paradigm and after much stubbornness, faith and realizing that going back is a form of death – it kept me going to reach where I am today.

As I look back roughly 2 years later, I do see many things that I once held dearly that turned out to be vices against my own success.  One being clearly “positive thinking”.

Today, this is almost a dangerous sub-religion often used to grow bank balances of motivational speakers at the expense of the attendees bank account with funds earn’t by hours of slaving away for oppressive corporates that value the dollar far greater than the human being.

I hope you enjoyed my almost “communist” but ironically “free enterprise” blog here, feel free to drop me a line at my business website.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this – wherever you are, at whatever time – have a great morning, day, evening or night – and of course, smile and “be negative!”

Negative Thinkers: The Joy of Shooting them in the Face

Time for some Love you Bully / Negative Thinker :)

Time for some Love you Bully / Negative Thinker!

I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of Negative Thinkers (and of course, Negative Thinkers who disguise themselves as “Positive Thinkers”).

You may remember from my last post, a certain “Negative Thinker” engaged in Vampirism with my poor neck and only now are the wounds starting to heal.

Like anything upsetting in our lives, sometimes we can get knocked off our chair – but then we gradually put things into perspective and move on.

This has really got me thinking about my whole life and reflecting back on my Wins, Losses and everything in between.  I remember right from the age of 8, right to my nice age of early 30’s now – there have always been “Negative Thinkers”, “Bullies”, or “Vampires” that whenever I have wanted to achieve something noble or big for myself – they are there to slow me down or not make it happen.

Right from bad bosses, to manipulative people, or even deceptive Multi-Level-Marketing people (who have mastered the art of looking “Positive”) – you have to be careful in this day and age to make sure people don’t suck you into their precious “Agendas”.

One thing I have learnt to take pleasure in, is standing up to the bullies and “Negative Thinkers” who don’t really give a rats about you personally – and only care about what resources they can extract from you (i.e. be it sick pleasure form your suffering, taking your money or even your time).

In fact, one thing I notice is that we when stand up for our own-selves and focus on what we want in OUR OWN lives, just like Cock-A-Roaches the Negative Thinkers scatter when the lights go on!

So my big learning, make sure you are living your own life and doing WHAT MATTERS to you!  And if you have some free time over the weekend, go and shoot a bully in the face or something like that.  Do you think I am joking? Maybe (depending on who is asking). Boy I wish I learnt this 20 years ago!

Can Negative Thinkers be Killed by Silver & Wooden Stakes?

Sunlight Helps as well.

Sunlight Helps as well.

Besides Edward Cullen from Twilight, Wesley Snipes from the good old Blade Series – or even a feminine (who loves Katie Holmes) Tom Cruise from Interview with a Vampire – we usually consider Vampires in the Negative.  This is obviously completely fair in the respect that Vampires are predators to humans.

These mythical creatures come along and can not only kill you by simple feeding on your blood, if you contract “Polymorphic Haemophilia” you will no doubt wake up with White Skin, no appetite for Weet-Bix and no doubt an urge to feed on the first passer by.

In an emotional sense, “Negative Thinkers” and people who run around trying to dominate others and “Kill Peoples Dreams” are no different.  Their mere presence makes our skin crawl, when we are in their presence they attack everything that is dear to us – and they generally either want to eliminate us or make us “One of them”.

If you know me well – you know I had a traumatic experience last week that knocked me off my chair for a day or two.  Within the limits of protecting privacy in a public article, a person who I have supported non-stop for years, supported in many ways beyond business – besides always putting me down and stuff, finally stuck their “Teeth” into me to either incapacitate or eliminate me emotionally.

The strange thing about this all is – that when we go through life, we may often have “Vampires” in our midst, but until they reveal themselves or try something that is really beyond the joke – we don’t know who they are.

Now I have identified the “Vampire”, it has been good in that I know to limit my exposure to them and also take them more with a grain of salt than the seriousness I would attribute to them.  In fact, this change in my view of this person made me think things such as:

– How do they treat other people they work with?

– Besides my own opinion of them, what is their honest track record?

– What is their real ethical foundation?

– Do they simply care about people for more than “What they are going to get?”

– And so on.

When I reflect more on this situation, it makes me really understand people like this – in that sometimes no matter what we give – they just like to drink our blood and try and convert us to serve their cause.

You may have people like this in your own life, “Toxic People” or “Vampires” who are almost radioactive – i.e. the more time you spend in their presence to more unhealthier or infected you become.

I would encourage anyone to be really careful about the Negative People they are hanging out with – if you do identify someone make sure you protect yourself from them.

Besides Silver Bullets, Sunlight, a Stake Through the Heart (which apparently works great for Buffy and other Vampire Hunters) the best approach is minimizing your exposure to these people. If you can reasonably avoid them for good even better!

Vampires are dangerous – and remember to keep them in check!

For you “Positive Thinkers” that are offended by this article – go and play a Guitar in the Park or something!

Positive Thinking: Making you feel Negative?

I don't have any problems - I just need to be more Positive!

I don’t have any problems – I just need to be more Positive!

This “Positive Thinking Fad” which really hit it’s peak in the 1990’s (but is still hanging around today) – is not just driving me nuts, has also really hurt some of my clients and the people I work with.

If you aren’t familiar with “Positive Thinking” – taken in it’s extreme form it’s basically “Snuffing” out “Negative Thoughts” with tons of “Positive Thoughts”.  As you can probably figure out, Negative Thoughts can often exist for very good reasons, so this can get you into trouble.

One con is where I have seen “Positive Thinkers” who feel bad, because they are doing something they shouldn’t be doing (i.e. not working hard enough, over-eating, smoking, addictions etc) snuff out their Negative Thoughts.  Those Negative Thoughts are actually very important! If you are over-eating your way to an early diabetes ridden death, then you should feel bad!

This type of delusional behaviour combined with the “Fad” of:

– Oh No! I have a “Negative Thought”!

– It’s bad, quick say something positive!

This can be extremely dangerous in that we can “Judge” ourselves badly for having a “Negative Thought”. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying we should go around the place and be negative – we need an intelligent balance of both! So why do the extremist “Positive Thinkers” generally have an agenda?

Here are some theories:

– Come to our seminar to get involved in our “Positive Thinking Cult” where we help lighten your wallet / purse.

– Don’t “Be Negative” just buy our expensive product and give us a go.

– If you want to be “Positive Like Me” (Douche Bag Hypster on Stage) then buy my products.

Just remember it’s a jungle out there! Don’t judge yourself for having “Negative Thoughts” – more often that not, it’s your sub-conscious mind prompting you to fix something up!

Eric Cartman: Is the only cure for Hate, More Hate?

If the World is such a Positive Place, then why are we still Fighting Wars?

Love or Hate Eric Cartman – he really leads the boys in South Park and has an uncanny sense of street wise smarts.

With all the “Positive Thinking” extreme trash out in the marketplace, I have seen some amazing extremes from both these perspectives.  I have sat there and watched “Positive Thinking” videos by incredibly delusional “Positive Thinkers” that will sit there and tell you the world is such a wonderful place, there is so “Much Abundance”, through “Visualization” wars will end and if you stuck 4 Wheels on me and paint me Red – I would become a fire truck.

OK – Let’s run with this Positive Extreme for a second and pretend it has some kind of Credibility.  If you defend this line of thinking, then please answer these questions for me:

– If the world is such a “Positive Place” then why does 50% of the world live in Poverty? (50% may be a bit of a rough estimate, but I know it’s really high – just go and ask Bono or someone like that).

– The poor Wife who get’s beaten by her husband for 20 years – are you telling me she lives in an Abundant world?

– The poor person in a wheelchair – is that Abundant?

– Living under ruthless dictators such as Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi, Kim Jong Il or Fidel Castro – is that Abundant, and would visualizing them “Going Away” make it happen?

You may think I am being Brutal, but come on – don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. These “Positive Thinking” morons write books, sugar coat everything so you simply purchase their products.  After all – if “Visualization” and “Positive Thinking” is so powerful – then why don’t those poor Starving people in North Korea have large houses, a fully stocked refrigerator and the ability to choose where they want to have dinner that night?

Eric Cartman’s line from South Park  “The only way to fight hate … is with MORE hate!” – doesn’t sound very nice.  In fact it sounds disgusting.  But in certain situations – it’s very true!

Hitler is an obvious example, but a current example today are the poor people in Libya fighting the evil and oppressive regime of Colonel Gaddafi.  Lot’s of people have died at the hands of this mad-man, and unless he is stopped – plenty more people will die.

So you “Positive Thinkers” out there who have never left your house, had Mommy & Daddy pay for house & car and have almost no real world experience – I challenge you to respond to this post.  Don’t just say “I’m Wrong” as I get from you guys quite often, I am really open to a credible counter argument on this point (i.e. if I am “Wrong” as you always tell me, then convince me otherwise).  In this case, Eric Cartman is on the money – sometimes, you have to fight “Fire with Fire” and “Hate with Hate”.

We live in a beautiful, yet dangerous world and in dangerous times.  Freedom certainly isn’t “Free” and if we don’t stand up to dictators in the world, or even bullies in our own workplaces and lives – things are only going to get worse for us.  Am I saying running around being fully charged with Hate? Of course not – but sometimes, situations beyond our control call for this type of approach.  Be careful out there, it’s a jungle!