Up Yours Society: Stop Trying to Control Me!

"Society" Just loves to keep a Tight Grip on Us?

"Society" Just loves to keep a Tight Grip on Us?

Without sounding like a “Conspiracy Theorist” crackpot – Society really does a great job of making us Conform and Brainwashing Us.

This happens for not only sinister intent, but for very very good reasons as well! Right from when we are a child and our parents (who are doing their best) are telling us what we are good at and what we aren’t good at, to the School Yard Evil Bully who is trying to hurt us, right through to Peer Group Pressure and then having to “Conform” in the Corporate Space – Society really doesn’t like us?

No that isn’t true. It is not that society doesn’t “Like Us”, it wants us to behave a certain way.

Now, there nothing wrong with following the Crowd! Seriously – I do mean that!

Where following the Crowd becomes a “Big Issue / Problem” is that if the Market Rewards you for being unique and you are trained to “Fit In” – then you are complete toast. All too many people I have worked with start out really “Shy & Sheepish” and until they really get through all the Conditioning / Brainwashing from Society, they really don’t get results and attract the Clients they deserve!

But if you are in your Own Business or in a Leadership Position where you have to really “Be Unique” and “Market Yourself” – following the crowd is a big problem!

So here is the big, big problem – after 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100, 110+ years you have been around, how do we all of a sudden “Undo” all that Brainwashing and get over it fast?

The truth is that you can’t. Think about it. You have all these stupid “Positive Thinking” extremists out there who always make out how change is soooo easy (especially when you “Buy” their Products – which they really don’t need you too, because their millionaires right?)

However, through being aware of it and making the gradual transition you can really breakthrough all the boundaries and limitations that society has placed on you and start acting uniquely, getting it across to the market – and benefiting from Higher Priced Services / Offerings as well as an increase in your Client / Customer Base.

In myself, my colleagues and my clients – I have seen a range of key “Self-Limiting” beliefs, which you can really thank “Society” for.

Remember always, 50% of the Journey is awareness. The top 10 dis-empowering lies I have seen include:

1. There is Something Wrong with me.

2. I don’t have what it takes.

3. I am not Pretty / Attractive enough.

4. People just don’t like me.

5. I don’t deserve this because God / Jesus / Allah / Moses / “The Universe” don’t want me too.

6. If I gain something, I will lose something somewhere else.

7. My Husband / Wife / Boy Friend / Girl Friend / Gay Lover / Mistress won’t let me.

8. Because my life sucks because of someone else.

9. Because I am “Happy where I am” (Liar!).

10. I am not intelligent enough to get it done.

And you know what? These are all lies. Depending on how “Conditioned” we are, some of our “Lies” can be very easy to identify – but some can really sit in our subconscious mind and totally FIRE TRUCK up our lives.

So my advice? Let’s start by telling all those people that pushed us around to FIRE TRUCK themselves, and go and get FIRE TRUCKED.

If you were anything like me or many people I know and work with – one day (if not already), you will get sick of this and say “I’m done”.

In fact, what did it for me was being in a relationship with a Woman for many years that who wasn’t inherently evil or anything – but really had a sullen view of themselves and their world. She used to always kill my dreams, put me down – and because of some of the reasons in Part 1) – I really didn’t like myself and therefore convinced myself I deserve her. Was it all her fault? Probably 50 / 50 – but in a way I am grateful for that experience. It pushed me beyond and made me sick of trying to “Fit In”.

So that is my story and what is yours? How does it relate? What have people down to you? What have you done to yourself? I don’t know your own personal circumstances or problems; however I have got some general tips developed from the hundreds of people I have worked with over the years:

1. Cut the Lies – Stop telling yourself all the negative stuff. By all means if you do something wrong tell yourself negative stuff, but if you are doing your best and you are just being “Negative” to yourself for no reason – stop it now. It’s Society talking!

2. Respect Yourself – This is not about “Being Arrogant” or putting others down. It’s about having a realistic and “Good-Natured” appreciation of you. After all, don’t appreciate or have any respect for yourself – you reckon anyone else will?

3. Fight the Good Fight – Don’t let those Positive Thinking Extremists lie to you! The minute you plan your “Flag” and say this is me; people are going to attack you! This is called anything from “Tall-Poppy Syndrome” right through to “Conformism”. It’s all good to say “Be Your Own Person”, but there are many out there that don’t want that. Watch out – they will come for you so be prepared!

4. Balance “Positive & Negative” Thinking – Don’t do what I did and “Pretend” the world is a safe, happy place where everything is full of rainbows, sunshine and wheelbarrows of money arriving at your door step. The world is full of great people as well as thieves, murderers, liars and people who use Apple Mac’s (PC is better!).

5. Protect Others – Doing your own thing is a tough journey and in the process, people will like what you are doing and you will inspire them to do the same thing (in fact, a lot come and join you!). It is hard starting out, so make sure you help your fellow man!

6. Treat Yourself Well – This doesn’t mean buying an Expensive Car with your Credit Card or eating 1.2kg of Cadbury Chocolate. This means “Appropriately” looking after you with Healthy Food, Relationships and “Non-Destructive” activities.

7. Cut the Addictions – Food, Drugs, Sex, Pornography, Drama, TV, Internet, Smoking etc. Addictions are easy to pick up, so if you have some addictions start working on them. Going “Cold Turkey” is easy for some, hard for others. Remember, you may have to quit something 10 times, until the 11th you really knock it for good!

8. Develop a Plan – Just “Being Yourself” is vague. Make sure you really think through why you want it and what you big goal is. Lose some weight? Look after your family? Make some more bucks?

9. Be “Intelligent” – God & Jesus Christ gave you a brain. Don’t be a “Positive Thinking” wacko and stuff things up. Use your brain and make intelligent moves.

10. Start – Talking about it never works. Start the process. Tell you stupid Boyfriend / Girlfriend to go away, put down the fork – start taking vitamins, work harder – just do something to get you going the right way!

This process isn’t easy – but the sooner you start the better. I wasted at least 15 years of my life being sucked into “Societal Brainwashing”. It’s hard getting out of it – but once you start too, you will never look back!

I wish I learnt this one 20 years ago! 🙂

Why Does Society Want us to Conform and Not Think?

Isn't it fun doing what we are told?

Hey you stupid and delusional “Positive Thinkers” out there!I have a new challenge for you – if the world is such an “Abundant” and “Nice” place, then why does it not accept us and want to change us all the time? “Society” “Brainwashing” and “Conditioning” us is nothing new, in fact – such ideas are often discussed and has really become an issue in modern Pop Culture today. Still however, if you think back to the days we are born to modern day adults, it’s almost at every turn “Society” and people in it are making us “Conform” to something.

In fact, don’t you feel that we are continually being:

– Told what to think? – Told what to wear? – Told what is appropriate? – Told what is inappropriate? – And Controlled in some way?

Don’t get me wrong, I really do believe in the rule of law and all that – otherwise, if there weren’t some kind of structure or laws – it would lead to a complete anarchy that is no good for anyone. Obviously you can’t run around “Shooting People” or going to Woolworth’s naked (all though it would be a very funny prank on the latter!

What I am more directing this at is more on a “Subtle” level. That is, when we are in the workplace, we have to be “Politically Correct” all the time, we can’t speak out against certain people who are protected by management (for whatever stupid / lame reason) or even when you have a circle of friends with certain “Political” or “Religious” beliefs – you say something the “Group” disagrees with, well don’t you wind up an outcast fast!

On a very odd note, when I became a “Born Again” Christian, I was warned non-stop that people will try and bring you down and all this stuff. Strangely enough that never happened! But when I became a Vegetarian and had a thing against killing animals, I was all of a sudden “Strange”, “Stupid” and “Against the System”.

It’s like WTF!! Why is everyone so trying to get us to fit in? Where did it become such a crime to do your own thing? Why can’t people accept differences? Not just me, but a lot of people I know have come down to this type of conclusion, that is: We are trained at a basic level by society that being “Different” is “Wrong”.

Schools, books and stuff all play “Lip-Service” to the concept that we are individuals, but come on – a few years in the playground or in the workplace would make one realise otherwise! So where am I going with all this?

If we spend our lives living into a “Shell” by what’s imposed on us and is not truly what we want, we can go on having incredibly average, mediocre (and often poorly paid) lives! So here is the problem, we get all “Positive” and start creating something “New” and then what happens? As we change, society (i.e. people we know, the workplace etc) all grabs us and tries to bring us back down again. Or in some other cases unfortunately, the “Positive Thinkers” trying to change us, may be doing it for sinister financial reasons.

My suggestion is for anyone (that like me) was leading a life that you didn’t pick – is to really stand back and think about what you want. This can be really hard if you have had years of being “Society’s Bitch” (as I did and still do to some extent).

When you find out what you want and you know its the right thing, be willing to make a stand for what you believe in – and go for it! Just watch out for those extremists, i.e. “Negative Thinkers” who want to keep you in your place and “Positive Thinkers” from Cults who are trying to extort your hard earned cash!

I wish I learn this stuff 20 years ago!!

Eric Cartman: Is the only cure for Hate, More Hate?

If the World is such a Positive Place, then why are we still Fighting Wars?

Love or Hate Eric Cartman – he really leads the boys in South Park and has an uncanny sense of street wise smarts.

With all the “Positive Thinking” extreme trash out in the marketplace, I have seen some amazing extremes from both these perspectives.  I have sat there and watched “Positive Thinking” videos by incredibly delusional “Positive Thinkers” that will sit there and tell you the world is such a wonderful place, there is so “Much Abundance”, through “Visualization” wars will end and if you stuck 4 Wheels on me and paint me Red – I would become a fire truck.

OK – Let’s run with this Positive Extreme for a second and pretend it has some kind of Credibility.  If you defend this line of thinking, then please answer these questions for me:

– If the world is such a “Positive Place” then why does 50% of the world live in Poverty? (50% may be a bit of a rough estimate, but I know it’s really high – just go and ask Bono or someone like that).

– The poor Wife who get’s beaten by her husband for 20 years – are you telling me she lives in an Abundant world?

– The poor person in a wheelchair – is that Abundant?

– Living under ruthless dictators such as Saddam Hussein, Gaddafi, Kim Jong Il or Fidel Castro – is that Abundant, and would visualizing them “Going Away” make it happen?

You may think I am being Brutal, but come on – don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. These “Positive Thinking” morons write books, sugar coat everything so you simply purchase their products.  After all – if “Visualization” and “Positive Thinking” is so powerful – then why don’t those poor Starving people in North Korea have large houses, a fully stocked refrigerator and the ability to choose where they want to have dinner that night?

Eric Cartman’s line from South Park  “The only way to fight hate … is with MORE hate!” – doesn’t sound very nice.  In fact it sounds disgusting.  But in certain situations – it’s very true!

Hitler is an obvious example, but a current example today are the poor people in Libya fighting the evil and oppressive regime of Colonel Gaddafi.  Lot’s of people have died at the hands of this mad-man, and unless he is stopped – plenty more people will die.

So you “Positive Thinkers” out there who have never left your house, had Mommy & Daddy pay for house & car and have almost no real world experience – I challenge you to respond to this post.  Don’t just say “I’m Wrong” as I get from you guys quite often, I am really open to a credible counter argument on this point (i.e. if I am “Wrong” as you always tell me, then convince me otherwise).  In this case, Eric Cartman is on the money – sometimes, you have to fight “Fire with Fire” and “Hate with Hate”.

We live in a beautiful, yet dangerous world and in dangerous times.  Freedom certainly isn’t “Free” and if we don’t stand up to dictators in the world, or even bullies in our own workplaces and lives – things are only going to get worse for us.  Am I saying running around being fully charged with Hate? Of course not – but sometimes, situations beyond our control call for this type of approach.  Be careful out there, it’s a jungle!

Why are “Bad People” always trying to Silence and Control Us?

Doesn't it suck when people always control what you say?

Doesn’t it suck when people try to silence you?

All my life I have compromised. Given in. “Moulded my Beliefs” to fit in.  Tried hard to be accepted.

Where do it get you? It makes you “Biege” and colourless.  Completely lifeless and of course easily ignorable.  It makes you a “Boring” nice person.  I find it if you also don’t know what you stand for, it’s really easy to get manipulated and sucked into someone’s else’s plan (that is rarely for your own interests).

This has been a key revelation to me lately in that, why am I trying so hard to fit in? Why can’t I just be myself and let people either “Love Me” or “Hate Me”?  I used to get really angry and then I started to look in the mirror.

I had some really messed up beliefs and views that said:

– Because I am not perfect,

– Because something is wrong with me,

– People have to like me,

– Because if they don’t,

It means I am wrong and bad.

Pretty “Positive Thinking” stuff huh? Great stuff to hear from a Business & Mindset Coach! Well it’s true.  I am not going to BS anyone and pretend that I am the best thing “Since Kevin Rudd & Sliced Bread” as I have really had some hugely limiting stuff in my mind which have really stopped me getting my life on track.  Many “Positive Thinkers” lie to us pretending they are larger than life!

It’s been funny lately, I have spoken to lots of clients and people – and believe it or not, this type of thing is a lot more common than I originally gave credit for.  I used to blame myself and think something was “Wrong with me”, but there are so many of us out there which have been:

– Brainwashed by Bad People and Society into thinking as such – so we can be more easily controlled and manipulated.

I thought about it logically – this actually makes perfect sense if you want to control people (and I mean control in the typical “Autocratic” sense).  If you suck everyone into thinking they are “inadequate” and there is “something wrong with them”, they are more likely to listen to the “So Called Experts” who really just want to control everyone for their own personal gain.

I once had this very Ex-Girlfriend.   Now, before I write this section – please don’t think I am bagging her.  It’s actually completely my fault as I chose to behave as I did.  She used to have very Leftist Political Views (compared to my natural Centre-Right Pro-Liberal type of views) and I would let her views overtake mine because “My opinion didn’t matter” and there was “Something wrong with me”.

When I cleared this junk out of my head, my “Revelation” hit in that:

– Choosing to sit in the middle and have “No Opinion” is an opinion.

That is, my logic was “I need to keep everyone happy so they like me”.  Well guess what! People don’t because your a push over and your weak and all that.

So if I just “Fly My Flag” and let people choose to Love or Hate me – this feels much better.  At the very least I am being myself and not letting other people’s opinions control me!  I am sick and tired of “Bad People” out there, that just want to control us and want us to keep our views to ourselves.

Speak Up I say! It will give these “Bad People” a run for their money.

The QLD Floods: Is the Political Rhetoric helping people rebuild their homes?

Queensland Floods - Rebuilding (Thank you to Martin Howard from FLICKR)

Does finding Scapegoats repair the damage done?

It is very sad to see what happened to the poor people in QLD.  What is amazing about this situation though is that the disaster really brought out the generosity and strength in the Australia public.  “The Clean-Up” Army, the Volunteer donations were all amazing things.

It was also great to see that “Looters”, “Raiders” and “Greedy Profiteers” of people’s suffering were dealt with in a swift manner.  Those people are extremely “Un-Australian” and it was only a delight to see them get what they really deserve.  I just only hope that they are punished to the full extent of the law.

I would imagine that there are not many countries in the world where people are as generous as Australian’s and would contribute so much to helping “Complete Strangers”.

Similar to Hurricane Katrina, we now are seeing the real aftermath of Political Rhetoric coming out from both sides of Politics, The Government, Insurance Companies and the like.

Like many Australians and Residents of our country, I am not too happy with the Flood Levy that’s being imposed on us by the Federal Government.  Like the great Neil Mitchell and Julia Gillard interview I share some of those sentiments.

It’s not about the money – hell, I would gladly pay a lot more than what the government is asking for a Disaster Fund of some form.  Like many people I have spoken too, it’s not about the money being paid – it’s that:

– We don’t have the confidence that the money would used productively to support the QLD People.

What has really been bugging me (and lot’s of people lately) is that the focus has been “Oh, we need more money – let’s just Tax the Australian Population again”.  To make this even worse, the NBN is still going ahead and the cuts are being made to programs designed to improve the Ecological & Environmental situation in Australia.

I am a very strong Liberal Supporter and lately I have really started to agree and align myself with the perspective of the Greens.  I never really used to be a Greens supporter, however I honestly have to say that they have really stepped up to the plate and are oddly enough becoming a voice of reason in the current Minority Government we have.

What’s even becoming amazing is that it appears relations between the Coalition and the Greens are really starting to thaw.  Honestly something I never would have expected to see! No amount of “Positive Thinking” would have created this – it’s obviously a reflection of deeper values overlapping. What I really think is becoming sad is that like many things in politics, the eye is coming off the ball of the QLD People and it’s just becoming a “Hurricane Katranish” political battle about protecting polls and one’s position.

Political Discussion is great and it’s good to see that something is being done to help the Queenslanders, however it would be great if less focus was on “The Polls” and “Political Protection” and more on the poor people that need help. Touch wood we will see some action soon – and let’s hope that if we are taxed, it actually goes to helping the Queenslanders!

Political Rhetoric – it’s great when you “Stop Being Positive” and start to see through all the junk. There needs to be action to help the people, not action to help the polls!

[Edward’s Notes Years Later: Oh yeah! Tony Abbott is Prime Minster and Times are rocking and so glad to have the silly Labor and Greens out of Government.  Good things come to those that wait and patience just rocks I say!]