If you know my back story, you will know I came out of a few difficult months just recently. Nothing life threatening or anything like that – more “Emotional” shakeups on a Personal Level with Close Relationships coming and going.
At the time it was very stressful, but now I have worked my way through the process I (ironically) am quite happy with the way things are progressing. But this “New found Happiness” is extremely new found and required me giving up some of my old thinking.
As an “Old Persian Man” of 35 now – it has me looking back on my life. Not in regret sense as I am quite proud of lots of my decisions and my mistakes – but more from an understanding perspective.
My business is rocking and I have helped tons of people which I am thrilled with and in reflecting back I can see some high levels of frustration in my life. Be it professionally or personally – especially when I was unemployed and washed up (after years of 6 figure incomes and high end management roles) sometimes life just can be quite hard.
Put it this way, whenever you have an expectation and it remains unfilled, you will not be happy! However, you can either achieve your expectation or change it to keep yourself sane. I found one of my old mental habits was a tendency to shut down or get “Frustrated” and full of negative energy when the game doesn’t go your way.
When it came to Partner / Girlfriend Relationships for me, it was very much like this – and especially when my business was still growing I felt exactly the same way. “Ahhh – I am not getting what I want and it’s driving me nuts”. Then the worst thing I could have done was “Compare myself to others” – the easiest way of demoralizing yourself and destroying productivity.
My big lesson and learning this gave me an extreme piece of mind was:
– Being Happy about playing the cards you are dealt!
I think this implies a high level of acceptance that you just can’t control everything and when things don’t go your way – you still have to make use of what you have and aim to get the upper hand and get on top of things again.
With my business, this was my first awesome full on year where I took it to the next level and I got burnt a bit by a few not very nice people. Ehh so what? A long term relationship ended and I took another shot and missed, Ehh so what? It was a good shot and worthy of taking – like many of my mistakes.
If I was never taking those shots, I never would have all my wins and my dream life right now. My life is still far from perfect, but the progress and ongoing victories I think are just great and keep me nice and happy for sure.
It took me a few years to reach this level of understanding – so if you are in my old position and feeling “Frustrated” and your life is just not going your way – please take it easy. I am not saying “Give up” – far from it, I am saying accept that in life events can often turn on us – just plot your means of getting the upper hand and keep working your way through the process.
Hope that helps and if you are winning, love it – if you feel you are “losing”, please remember it’s temporary – means you need to keep trying different attacks to get the upper hand.
And when you do, boy you will be happy for sure. Nothing more satisfying than overcoming big challenges in life with style and then helping others do the same!