Working on my own Trust & Loneliness Issues – Getting there!

The awesome Joel de la Cruz done up in Japanese Style.  He is ironically a cool Filipino guy :)

The awesome Joel de la Cruz done up in Japanese Style. He is ironically a cool Filipino guy.

This article I wanted to dedicate to the amazing Joel de la Cruz from “Your Relationship Oracle”.  I have been very lucky to be working with this amazing man who is very kind and also has an “Innate” 6th Sense when it comes to understanding people.

He put a thought provoking post on Facebook that was about “Grief” and the pain of dealing with it.  It really got me thinking, not so much in a “Death” type of respect but got me reflecting on some of my own personal issues that I am dealing with.

Business wise I am rocking (the numbers are great and my projects are up to date) which is fantastic, however my own personal life is becoming quite an issue.  I think a lot of the issues I have always had, are now becoming more prominent as my life is getting busier and there are more and more people that are relying on me.  Like all things, I certainly don’t like “Having issues” and I find myself in the position of having to face them off and deal with them.  A few of my friends know my issues well (thank you Joel, Jenny Kuo, Lisa Aifantis, James Budd, Edward Wright and Penny + more) and it’s been great having their support.

If you read a bit earlier, I do suffer from a Diagnosed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and it wasn’t that long ago my life was in pieces due to some really bad judgment, poor choices and laziness on my part.  My life is the best it’s ever been in all areas – and although things “On Paper” are rocking, I still mentally am connected to the times where I was alone and really had no one to trust.

My life only really came together say 10 months ago and on a funny note, I am finding myself dealing with all my issues that have been impacting me all my life.  On an even funnier note, the more I be honest with people, the more they are honest with me in telling me their own issues and the stuff they have to deal with.

So I am not alone in my own issues! I used to think everyone was right and there was something “Wrong” with me – only to find that everyone has their own issues and challenges.  One thing I have learnt lately and my close friend Jenny Kuo has been brilliant at (read my earlier articles about this amazing woman) – is about speaking about my own issues.

She has also put up with a lot of my “Trust Issues” – so if you read this Jen, thank you for your patience with me!

Being a “Persian Man” is great, but one big limitation is admitting my own issues.  That is, I was brought up with the importance of making out “I am just wonderful” even when things are just simply not.  The big realization I have had, is to admit the truth and nothing but the whole truth in an objective manner.  That is, if I have a problem “Admit It” as a weakness and deal with it, but also just as equally – if i am brilliant at something then tell the world with complete pride and satisfaction.

Thank you for the read in my article turned diary entry! Have a great day out there with maximum appreciation from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and Awesome Marketing Vault Creator.

The Positively Negative Gym: Ripping me off no more!

OMG - She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

OMG – She is not in makeup, be mean to her quick! Then pretend to be Positive so we look better than her!

If you know me or have read my blog in more detail, you have probably figured out I am actually quite a positive thinker.  I don’t mean in a “visualize $2000 and my mortgage pays itself” in 30 seconds type of delusional thinker, but in a more:

– “Bad stuff happens, What do we do with it?” type of mentality.

Most of the fantastic people I work with agree with me and we all don’t like negative people! Does me attacking me make me negative? Probably! 🙂

I had a very interesting one today and recently.  I was (well still am until my notice clears out) a member of a very large gym which has outlets all across Australia.  When I first joined them, they were always “slightly snooty / snobby” but there was some nice staff that made the difference.

Over my 4 years of being with them – they seem to get worse and worse (talking all outlets across Sydney).  They would have “less time” for me, treat me poorly, never say goodbye to me when I left (even when I would initiate), charge me like a wounded-bull and then they closed my local gym! (Surprise, Surprise they were going broke).

Compared to some other gyms around town, I have noticed the morale of their gym’s to be down.  The staff were not happy (in defense of the staff, I read online they are treated like crap – so can you blame them?), the people there don’t seem happy at all – and no one is talking or interacting.  It’s actually quite a lonely place.

In a strict contrast, I have visited JB Hi-Fi stores or even Telstra stores which are happier environments that I feel good when I leave (whether I purchase or not).

In the context of this blog, what really got me about them was their amount of advertising and it’s all “so happy”.  That is, everyone is walking around miserable (including yours truly), they have mean messages on the walls saying things like “you must do this”, “you must do that”- and the personal trainers there at times were mean and wouldn’t even say hello back to me after saying hello first (expect for a couple which were really nice).

This got me thinking about the whole purpose behind me writing this blog, my fatigue of people who are really negative and in it for themselves (quite often money) pretending to be positive and it not working!

As of this morning I cancelled my membership at their location and I feel great.  Even though they have probably tens of thousands of paying members, they at least don’t have my $22 a week anymore! I would rather donate it to the Salvation Army and do push up’s at home than know it’s going to mean people like them.

My advice to you! It’s not always possible, but only do business with people who you love and love you back.  Life is too short to waste in mean people, especially those who are negative but pose as “positive thinkers!”