How does “Positive Thinking” Make Failure Harder?

If Your Milk Turns Sour - Don't Be The Pussy Who Drinks it!

If Your Milk Turns Sour - Don't Be The Pussy Who Drinks it!

“Positive Thinking” it it’s extreme form encourages one to just focus on the “Positives” in a given situation (duhh!).

Well that sounds obvious, and in fact – it’s great being Positive right? After all – when we feel positive, we just feel better, things flow better and we are likely to get what we want?

The universe will provide? All that “Financial Freedom” flowing to me in abundance? And oh no – watch out for those evil “Negative Thinkers” out there, who suck and work 9 to 5 everyday for their “Miserable Lives”.

After all, people who work 9 to 5 suck right? They aren’t enlightened like those “Positive Thinkers?” huh?

Interesting concept “Positive Thinkers”! How do you explain why 1/2 the world lives in Poverty? Let me guess – they are the “Negative Thinkers” according to your logic?

When I first arrived in Sydney (after moving up with Hobart) I picked up a contract with a really unethical and well known employer that really has a lot of people out there who aren’t big fans of them.  During this time, I really encountered pretty much the extreme or “Workplace Politics” from all directions.

As things were tough (and I had a lot of sources telling me how great “Positive Thinking” was) I gave it a shot and really applied it in this sense.  Cutting a long story short, by using “Positive Thinking” it made me really inactive, it stopped me considering relevant scenarios and making contingency plans in case I got the sack or something there.

So eventually, my contract ended early, things didn’t play out my way and while I was so busy “Being Positive” I didn’t deal with potential relaties such as being unemployed, or being prepared for tough times.

“Positive Thinking” in this case, got me into a lot of trouble – it didn’t keep me aware of my environment, or preparing for when things go bad.

Using a perishable goods example, it’s a bit like having 1L of Milk and the expiry date just lapses.  A bit of “Realistic Thinking” kicks in saying, hmm – I better do something about it. But then on no, “Positive Thinking” will tell you to ignore that and focus on how great things are, i.e. it came from a cow, it’s in a nice carton.  You then don’t do anything about it – and hey presto, your Milk Goes Sour!

Then you tell a “Positive Thinker” what happened to you and they just say you aren’t “Positive Enough!”.  Failure for many people (including myself) is a very tough thing to deal with, but “Positive Thinking” just makes it harder and worse.

If you are in a sticky situation or something isn’t going your way, please don’t screw up like I did and don’t be a “Positive Thinker” here – please be realistic and do whatever you need to do nice and early.

After All – if your Milk turns sour, don’t be the Pussy who ends up drinking it!

I wish I learnt this stuff 20 years ago!

Why are “Bad People” always trying to Silence and Control Us?

Doesn't it suck when people always control what you say?

Doesn’t it suck when people try to silence you?

All my life I have compromised. Given in. “Moulded my Beliefs” to fit in.  Tried hard to be accepted.

Where do it get you? It makes you “Biege” and colourless.  Completely lifeless and of course easily ignorable.  It makes you a “Boring” nice person.  I find it if you also don’t know what you stand for, it’s really easy to get manipulated and sucked into someone’s else’s plan (that is rarely for your own interests).

This has been a key revelation to me lately in that, why am I trying so hard to fit in? Why can’t I just be myself and let people either “Love Me” or “Hate Me”?  I used to get really angry and then I started to look in the mirror.

I had some really messed up beliefs and views that said:

– Because I am not perfect,

– Because something is wrong with me,

– People have to like me,

– Because if they don’t,

It means I am wrong and bad.

Pretty “Positive Thinking” stuff huh? Great stuff to hear from a Business & Mindset Coach! Well it’s true.  I am not going to BS anyone and pretend that I am the best thing “Since Kevin Rudd & Sliced Bread” as I have really had some hugely limiting stuff in my mind which have really stopped me getting my life on track.  Many “Positive Thinkers” lie to us pretending they are larger than life!

It’s been funny lately, I have spoken to lots of clients and people – and believe it or not, this type of thing is a lot more common than I originally gave credit for.  I used to blame myself and think something was “Wrong with me”, but there are so many of us out there which have been:

– Brainwashed by Bad People and Society into thinking as such – so we can be more easily controlled and manipulated.

I thought about it logically – this actually makes perfect sense if you want to control people (and I mean control in the typical “Autocratic” sense).  If you suck everyone into thinking they are “inadequate” and there is “something wrong with them”, they are more likely to listen to the “So Called Experts” who really just want to control everyone for their own personal gain.

I once had this very Ex-Girlfriend.   Now, before I write this section – please don’t think I am bagging her.  It’s actually completely my fault as I chose to behave as I did.  She used to have very Leftist Political Views (compared to my natural Centre-Right Pro-Liberal type of views) and I would let her views overtake mine because “My opinion didn’t matter” and there was “Something wrong with me”.

When I cleared this junk out of my head, my “Revelation” hit in that:

– Choosing to sit in the middle and have “No Opinion” is an opinion.

That is, my logic was “I need to keep everyone happy so they like me”.  Well guess what! People don’t because your a push over and your weak and all that.

So if I just “Fly My Flag” and let people choose to Love or Hate me – this feels much better.  At the very least I am being myself and not letting other people’s opinions control me!  I am sick and tired of “Bad People” out there, that just want to control us and want us to keep our views to ourselves.

Speak Up I say! It will give these “Bad People” a run for their money.