Not just limited to myself, but quite a few of my clients and friends are all single. Interesting recently as well. Be it 25 right to 55, (with me in the mid range at a nice 35) many of us have had long-term & quite intimate relationships end rather abruptly. For me, I have been very lucky to be with some awesome women and although it didn’t work out we are still friends and there is no negativity to each other at all. We gave it a shot, it wasn’t right – and no right / wrong, all good we move on and support each other.
In my own life and I find the way I think, it’s been quite hard for me adapting back to single life. I have tended to always be in relationships, I have tried with all I have 3 x times in my life to move with something serious (to starting a family) and they didn’t work out. For a while it was a source of great sadness for me and as I spend time with my awesome friends, I am finding it’s a real common problem these days.
I used to think it was only me, but many of us out there are in many stages of life are finding ourselves single and at times finding a “Compatible” partner is not easy. A good friend Kat Tate and I were sharing stories on this the other day in that when you go from Relationship to Single (especially if you are used to that), it’s a massive change to your life. Your focus shifts, your mindset changes, decision making becomes rapidly different and Accountability is clearly all yours.
To be straight up with you reading this article, I didn’t want to be single – and in each case I tried everything I could to save the relationships and even start families. In those times not working out, I was quite sad. After working through the process and developing my new perspective, I have realized that although I didn’t choose my circumstances (in fact, I fought hard against them) it is what it is. Therefore I have two options:
A) Be the Victim and Feel Sorry for myself
B) Embrace being Single, Build my business, party hard and enjoy it!
I think it’s a sliding act, I think right now I am 50% A) and 50 B) and as time passes, I become more B) and am enjoying life. One of my friends was recently made single – and it’s very tough on her. Right now she is easily 80% A) and 20% B).
My own personal view on this matter and also when I speak with clients is that you have to recognize it’s a process, don’t blame yourself and as positively as you can work your way through the process of dealing with painful emotions and accepting reality.
For me in being down the middle between A) & B) – it’s much easier now and being in business by yourself can be at times isolating. So my cure, if you are single especially – got to love life, enjoy your friends and really explore your independence. Yes sure, I am on the lookout for “Mrs Crazy Persian” – but till then, I better enjoy the B) path as much as I can.
Thank you for the read of my article and like always, check out my Sweet Awesome Marketing Vault for fine business stuff!