“Bed Ridden”, “Lost my Business”, “Life Changed”, “No Help”, “All Alone” – were some extreme statements I heard when I was lucky to interview this amazing Alternative Health Practitioner by the name of Khadine Aharon. I have known her for about 2 years and in the Secondary CBD of Sydney “Parramatta” – she is well known in the business and local scene for her great work.
Colour Therapies, Quit Smoking Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming – she is trained in multiple arts to help people heal and recover. If you know Khadine in the real world, she is a very sharp, logical and pragmatic operator with a heart of gold – and a wit of steel.
In getting to know her backstory – I had no idea of the pain and suffering she has been through in her life. Very extreme and it’s amazing the quality of life she has created for herself. Like our awesome interviews, feel free to watch the video or if you are more of a words person – read the transcript to hear her magnificence in action.
If you like what you hear of course and want to kick butt with more Awesome Small Business Marketing – check out my Awesome Marketing Vault! A top Online Course full of stuff perfect for Entrepreneurs!
Thank you from Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and fan of Khadine’s Inspirational Story against the odds!
Edward: Hello everyone and welcome to our awesome entrepreneur interview. This is me Edward Zia with the amazingly critical and very thoughtful Khadine Aharon, say hello to the audience Khadine.
Khadine: Hi everybody, how are you all doing today?
Edward: It’s a great one, we’re doing this on a Monday morning so Khadine and I are both bright eyed and bushy tailed. Is that a fair comment Khadine?
Khadine: Almost, had a good day at the expo yesterday so getting bright eyed.
Edward: There you go, so you were at the expo yesterday what were you doing there yesterday Khadine?
Khadine: I was promoting new services at a health and well-being expo so that was pretty exciting and fun.
Edward: Very nice I guess we just dive straight into. Khadine I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for must be 2 or 3 years now is it?
Khadine: Yeah probably 2.
Edward: About 2 years, we’ve got a lot of shared friends, we’ve caught up on many times and I’ve always liked Khadine from day 1. She’s … I don’t want to jump into her story but Khadine is this amazing health person and the reason I want to really speak to her today is I think she’s got a very amazing, compelling story to tell one that’s very inspirational, one that’s full of lows but full of massive highs as well. Khadine tell us a bit about you, what do you do for a living?
Khadine: Well most people would know me as a quit smoking specialist but I’m actually phasing the quit smoking down to a much lower priority so I’m bringing other services that are a bit out of the box into the business that really confuse people but are actually really interesting and exciting when people allow themselves to experience them. I’ve brought in colored light healing which is a light frequency for healing.
Khadine: At the end of the day we’re all made of energy, we’re all vibrations so it makes use of light frequency to heal and you get amazing results which is what I was using at the expo yesterday and people couldn’t get enough of … they couldn’t believe they could actually feel the different colors of the light. Then I’m using tapping EFT which is a way to release past traumas, belief systems that are holding you back, sabotaging patterns, managing your pain effectively without drugs. It’s fantastic stuff and in April I’ve got a color workshop coming up which will be really exciting.
Edward: Color, wow. You’ve been a quit smoking specialist.
Edward: Going back to that how would you get someone to stop smoking?
Khadine: Well just I can’t get someone to stop smoking I give them the tools that they need to become a nonsmoker at the end of the day. For someone to quit smoking they have to be passionate about wanting to quit smoking and they have to follow what I say. If people follow what I say then they have about a 95 percent success rate, if they don’t follow what I say then they don’t have that same success rate. They can still be successful but they’re more likely to slip up. I use a combination of hypnotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming and education about what people aren’t told about cigarettes.
Edward: Wow, fair enough. What’s this color energy work that you’re doing? To Persian marketing mentor who lives in Inner West Sydney color and energy well that sounds a bit out there, tell us all about it.
Khadine: Yeah a lot of people think it’s out there but it’s actually been around for a very long time, even for myself I started using color therapy 20 years ago when I had my massage therapy and reflexology business. I learned it as part of my reflexology course. It was around decades before that to use the light in Europe for healing, it can be used to heal burns. One of the latest researchers was a doctor in America who used it on a little girl who had very severe burns but she had no skin left to graft and they managed to heal her burns with the color lamp without any scar tissue, incredible.
Edward: You’re saying this color therapy caused her to regenerate lost skin?
Khadine: That’s right, that’s right. In Europe particularly in countries where there’s not much sunlight they use it a lot to compensate for people getting depressed due to lack of sunlight so it’s quite popular there. A lot of skincare places in Australia are bringing in forms of color light for skin regeneration and things like that. it can be used for multiple things like for example I have a friend he’s a builder and he pulled a muscle in his arm one day so we used it that night and the next day he’s perfect, he didn’t need any other treatment and he could go back to work not an issue.
Edward: Wow, so it was a bit like Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid doing that move on Daniel Larusso at the end and fixed him immediately.
Khadine: Yeah pretty much if it fixed him immediately and you can see those results but it works on all levels of a person’s being, it works on a physical level, it works on an emotional level, and it’s quite common for people to have an emotional release during or just after the session. It’s very holistic and you never know what changes you’re going to get because you’re treating the whole body and giving it an environment where it can heal itself.
Edward: Wow, it’s funny you say that because as you know I help run 4Networking Australia and I’m on the case center and I’ve been reading a lot of UK ads and this … I know being in Sydney, I think Sydney has to be one of the most sunlit countries in the world I think or cities and they were selling light boxes in the UK.
Edward: I’m not kidding you Khadine but what I was, I don’t know where the ad is but this business was selling light boxes in the UK. You actually put a light box on your desk to shine this certain frequencies over you to stop you going insane during winter.
Khadine: Exactly, it’s the same thing and you can even get special showerheads now where you can have color therapy through a shower as you’re having you shower. It subjects color light on you while you have your shower, yeah.
Edward: I presume you can get color therapy modified light bulbs.
Khadine: I’m not sure, I think the LLD.
Khadine: Yeah, same as some spars you buy that have color filters that you can use.
Edward: Wow, amazing. This technology, this color therapy can be used to create really good regeneration in humans.
Khadine: Regeneration, helps with moods, it can help with anything like once when I was working with my students when I still taught massage therapy I got them to use it on my hand because I had this rash on my hand and you could just see the color change right in front of you. It went from red to almost white in minutes. On the flip side I had another client once and she came in and she was feeling really goaty because her friend had just passed away and she felt like she hadn’t been there for her. By the end of the session her whole demeanor just changed. She went from being really enclosed in herself and looking really depressed and by the end she was all happy and she’s like I can’t believe it Khadine I just feel so light, all that guilt is gone now. It’s sort of been, it just seems like it’s been taken away, yeah. She was up standing tall, smiling, feeling great about herself.
Khadine: It really does work on all levels and you just never know what you’re going to get at the end of the session or during the session it’s always a lovely surprise and it makes it really interesting. It’s great work.
Edward: You got me interested …
Khadine: Energy is everything at the end of the day because we’re all made of energy at the end of the day we’re all energy, that’s why you can measure your heart rate, measure your brain function, your nervous system relies on energy, we are all energy. Every cell in our bodies is energy and every cell is mainly made of space so we are energy at the end of the day so when you work with energetic type of things like light then sometimes you get the most results, sometimes it’s the subtle things that get the results.
Khadine: Yeah, super duper.
Edward: You’re saying everything is made of energy so this …
Khadine: Everything is made of it and even the wooden table we’re sitting on.
Edward: Is made of energy.
Khadine: Has a vibration that measurable scientifically, a rock has a vibration that’s measurable scientifically.
Khadine: Yeah and Peter Brock knew that because just like I used the quartz crystal in my color torch Peter Brock used quartz crystal in his engines when he was racing to make them run more efficiently. Your quartz crystal watch won’t run without a quartz crystal in it, mobile phones they have crystals in them to make them run.
Edward: Really, there you go. This isn’t hocus pocus this has already been embraced by the …
Khadine: It’s all scientific it’s just not widely pushed out there for people to know and to acknowledge.
Edward: Why don’t you think it’s been pushed out there?
Khadine: Well honestly because if people have more access to things like these they need less drugs and drug companies rule so we could have a whole discussion really about what I think about the health system with drug companies but that would be a whole other interview and a lot of discussion.
Edward: Absolutely, I mean the pharmaceutical … being an ex-industrial chemist may I say that was my undergrad I mean the pharmaceutical companies certainly aren’t shot of their critics.
Khadine: No, they have a lot of power in all western countries and even in developing countries about what people have access to and what they don’t have access to and we are taught so much information that’s actually not true about health and well-being and we’re not provided access to services or products that we need. I can even say that in regards to my own health like having chronic fatigue all the latest research says that if you have a B12 injection 2 to 3 times a week it’s fantastic for chronic fatigue but I can’t get a doctor that will give me an injection 2 to 3 times a week.
Khadine: No, because it doesn’t meet the criteria set up by the AMA for the government to approve but those standards are set for people who are actually low in B12 not for someone who actually is using it to treat a condition.
Edward: Right, so in other words because it’s not approved for your condition you can’t access that technology.
Khadine: That’s right.
Edward: Right, so going back a bit you said you got chronic fatigue.
Khadine: Yes, I’ve got chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.
Edward: What does that actually mean? I mean I know you’ve told me personally but for the audience what does chronic fatigue mean?
Khadine: Chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia are very, very similar, they’re both neuro-immune disorders so they affect your immune system and just speaking about chronic fatigue specifically it’s not like you’re just tired it’s like a really sickening type of exhaustion. Certainly when I first got it I lost my business, I couldn’t function anymore. I went from working a 50 hour week to hardly being able to get out of bed. I had to give up everything and then I became really sensitive to foods because it affects your immune system, I got a virus in my eyes which affected my eyesight because my immune system was so affected.
My pain tolerance which were really high crashed so I’d had these tendon damage from massaging that I hadn’t realized that I had and then all of a sudden I had this massive pain and couldn’t even chop vegetables because all of a sudden I could feel the pain now because my whole system just crashed.
Edward: Wow, when did this happen? I mean I’ve known you about 2 years now Khadine I didn’t know that. When did this all happen, what were you doing in your old life until this day that it happened?
Khadine: Well it happened when I was 25.
Edward: Right now you’re about 26, 27?
Khadine: Yeah right, no 42.
Edward: You age like a machine.
Khadine: Yeah machine. Yeah, most people don’t realize that I have a chronic health condition and that I live with pain 24 hours a day every single day of the week or any of those things because I don’t really focus on that. You focus on those things and that sort of increases that for you I really believe. Yeah I was 25 when I first got the chronic fatigue and then it just hit me pretty much overnight and all of a sudden I was having anxiety attacks in the middle of massages for clients and I just couldn’t function anymore.
Edward: You were a masseuse in your old life?
Khadine: I was a massage practitioner. Masseuses work in brothels.
Khadine: Masseuse is old terminology.
Edward: Is it, my bad, I’m sorry.
Khadine: A lot of people confuse that even some organizations confuse that still but yeah.
Edward: They’ll call an actual massage practitioner implying that they deliver certain services.
Khadine: Generally people who refer to masseuses do extras when they massage.
Edward: Okay, wow.
Khadine: Either massage therapist or massage practitioner.
Edward: Got it, got it. I should be, my dad’s probably going to listen to this interview and he was actually a massage practitioner so he’ll probably be quite upset with me once he hears this. Sorry dad, you know I love you. Wow, and we’ve … so what happened? Were you just having a normal day the day before and then, well what actually happened? Were you just sitting there one moment and boom?
Khadine: Yeah pretty much, yeah pretty much all of a sudden I just crashed physically and emotionally. The difference for me was because mine wasn’t just chronic fatigue it was the fibromyalgia type so the you have, you primary symptom is pain, extreme pain because your nervous system is on hyper arousal all the time so you feel pain 10 times the norm.
Edward: Hyper arousal I presume it means you system is extra sensitive?
Khadine: Extra sensitive, it’s always over the top. You become more sensitive to light, more sensitive to sound, more sensitive to touch, more sensitive with all your senses because your nervous system is overly sensitive all the time.
Edward: Are you feeling pain right now?
Edward: Yeah and I find that amazing and you’ve been saying this is that you just look like a normal happy person, you actually look quite healthy.
Khadine: Yes and that’s one of the issues people with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue often face is they look so normal quite often. My friends will know when I’m having a rough time if I need to have a sleep because they know me well and they can, they’re used to judging me but generally people don’t know. Unlike somebody who has say a terminal illness you don’t get the empathy but the reality is some people with chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia their symptoms can be actually worse than someone with a terminal illness. There’s no end date, like I’m very fortunate that I already worked in an industry which supported looking outside the box so if I hadn’t looked outside the box for my own treatment and just relied on medical profession I’d still be stuck in bed.
Edward: Wow, so that was through breaking convention and accessing these different technologies that you’re able to actually lead a relatively normal life?
Khadine: That’s right and taking responsibility for my own health and educating myself about my own health and not just relying on doctors to tell me because doctors actually don’t know much about my health conditions at the end of the day.
Edward: Why do you think that is Khadine?
Khadine: One, Australia is a bit behind when it comes to fibromyalgia in particular. A lot of doctors don’t actually know what it is or what the proper criteria is. I’ve certainly had doctors tell me I don’t have it because they’ve got the wrong criteria in their head. I’ve had a doctor tell me …
Edward: They’re on the wrong Wikipedia page were they?
Khadine: They were, they were, they said you don’t have fibromyalgia because you’ve got pain in more than one area, you’ve got polymyalgia. I’m like no I don’t have that because that’s a rheumatological condition I have a neurological condition and the criteria for fibromyalgia is you have to have pain in all 4 quadrants of your body so I definitely have fibromyalgia.
Khadine: Here was trying to put me on cortisone injections and anti-inflammatories which are seriously detrimental to your body.
Khadine: Yeah, ridiculous. I had another doctor tell me not to come back because she didn’t believe there was anything wrong because there was nothing in the blood tests but there’s nothing in the blood tests that really show for chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia generally.
Edward: This is crazy isn’t it?
Khadine: Yeah its nuts.
Edward: It’s just amazing and I mean I remember talking personally as well and I think I may have told you this story but years ago, I mean obviously I was wounded when I worked for the government but after I actually had a car accident and I got a serious case of whip lash. What happened was, this was before I understood even what chiro was, I’m not a massive believer in chiro and I was getting migraines 3 times a week and all that and I went to a doctor and he prescribed me, guess what he prescribed to cure my injury from a car accident?
Khadine: It would have been anti-inflammatory, steroids or antidepressants I’d imagine.
Edward: It was actually anti-inflammatory to help with my stomach pain. It’s like he just paid no attention to actually what happened and I remember after 1 year of heavy chiro it just changed my life. It’s funny I guess, I mean obviously we’ve said the P word being pharmaceutical and the D word being doctor really why do you think there’s this level of misinformation? You and I have both had obvious experiences in this area. Why do you think that is Khadine?
Khadine: I think at the end of the day it comes down to money and who has the power. If you look at who has the power in this world, not just in this country it comes down to pharmaceutical companies, it comes down to bankers and it comes down to making weaponry at the end of the day. They’re the 3 high money earners in the world when you start to pull it apart. There’s a fourth one but I can’t remember it at the top of my head maybe you know it but when you pull economics apart that’s where the money is in the world and that’s where … Countries like America can’t afford not to be at war because then they wouldn’t be selling weaponry at the end of the day. That’s where the crappiness of the world comes in, there’s a whole other big discussion.
Edward: Yeah, I think Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock are on their way they’re going to join us in the interview aren’t they?
Edward: A bit of Fahrenheit or a supersize …
Khadine: The information is out there, that’s the wonder of the internet I guess you can access this information so it’s not just conspiracy theory when you actually look at it and you pull it apart. Certainly when it comes to drug companies and who has the power over what we can access there is no question about that because there has been many people say who have had cures for cancer and they’re all shut down. We had that doctor in Perth not long ago he’s retired now and he had amazing results with people without chemotherapy, he used a machine that created a frequency which the cancer cells didn’t like. He injected a substance which cools off the glycogen that cancer cells feed off and he got great results but he was shut down because why, he’s getting results and there’s no money for drug companies and medical companies if people can get cured so easily. Better off to treat it like a chronic illness that they’re going to have to manage for a few years.
Edward: Yeah and I think relaying it directly to health I was a big fan … I mean as you know I used to have big problems with my weight, eating problems, very common for posttraumatic stress disorder as you know which I’ve had.
Edward: I remember watching Super-Size Me, have you seen that film?
Edward: The audience out there if you haven’t seen Super-Size Me it’s a great film, it’s directed by Morgan Spurlock and basically it’s him just taking down the fast food industry. Is that a fair comment you think Khadine?
Khadine: Yeah that was pretty interesting actually.
Edward: Yeah and I remember what resonated with me was that when I worked in America and I was in America for quite a while here and I there and I remember you would go to these fast food franchises and in Australia you don’t get American fat. Have you ever been to America?
Edward: Okay, you do not … you get American fat, that is not Australian fat, you do not get them here. I would go in day in and day out to McDonald’s, I don’t want to just pick on McDonald’s here but they go in to all these fast food franchises and they just, they must do at least 20,000 kilojoules a day these guys.
Edward: I mean bringing it back to yourself the reason I was sort of going on that arch is that it’s … you can definitely see it’s just money. Why would someone like McDonald’s want to sell less?
Khadine: That’s right.
Edward: If selling, if looking after their health means they make less money I guess what’s going to give first?
Khadine: Well that’s exactly right and sometimes health isn’t about giving drugs. Another example I can give particularly when it relates to posttraumatic stress and depression is most doctors I think we can safely say will prescribe antidepressants if someone is depressed. However what’s really common in people who have posttraumatic stress is that they have an imbalance of hormones because of that stress. Typically and I’ll be a bit technical with my wording, you have a stress hormone called cortisol and that floods your brain when you have ongoing stress, when you have traumatic stress and that reduces your grey matter, affects your thinking.
Then what happens when you get too much of that stress hormone you have another hormone that’s related to your fight or flight responses and the shortened version is DHEA so we just call it that, which goes really low. When that’s really low you get very depressed.
Edward: Such as how I used to suffer myself last year.
Khadine: Yes, but how many doctors actually test for that? They don’t because to test properly for that you need a saliva test. If you want to do it through a blood test you have to have a blood test 3 times throughout the day at different times but the most effective way is through a saliva test which is not covered by Medicare. A saliva test will tell you where those hormones are at and then the doctor can make a prescription specific to your needs which I had in the past but the prescription costs me $60 for a month’s supply so a lot of people can’t afford that or they don’t see the priority of paying that. At that stage I couldn’t get off my couch.
Khadine: One course of hormones and I’ve never felt that way since.
Edward: That course of hormones changed everything for you?
Khadine: It was a game changer for me, hormones, but how many doctors will actually say you’re really depressed let’s check your hormones.
Edward: No they never do, they just … I mean it’s funny you say that because I mean you know my condition, I might as well just to make it clear to the audience I suffer from battlefield post-traumatic stress disorder left over from my government days.
Edward: You know my condition well and last year, I mean it’s 2014 now February but in 2013 I suffered a lot, I had some big issues come to me but I never ever, ever went to a doctor because I knew what was going to happen.
Khadine: That’s right.
Edward: I knew I was … I thought I’d rather sit here and terrorize myself because I knew if I walked in to a doctor I’d walk out with some antidepressants and I knew I’d be an antidepressant junkie 2 months later.
Khadine: Yeah, and they’re very hard to get off and there’s so many other options which is one of the reasons why I’ve started doing the tapping of the EFT in the business now because you can get rid of that trauma really easily without re-traumatizing someone and you see the results pretty much straightaway, it’s really exciting.
Edward: I remember you actually were one of the key characters that gave me some advice to work through that process myself and I remember what you told me is these primary … these weren’t quite the words but maybe if you can repeat what you said if you can remember but you basically told me Edward relieve it don’t just block it.
Edward: You gave me some advice around that, not relieve it but it was like don’t deny it Edward.
Edward: Anyway the message I got from you was don’t deny it Edward, explore it and become part of it is basically what you told me. Maybe I’m … anyway that advice worked really well but what were you actually meant to tell me that I misinterpreted?
Khadine: What I would say to people who have experienced trauma is you don’t need to keep it in a box. When you keep it in a box …
Edward: That’s what you said.
Khadine: … and internalizes it affects you physically and you might not realize how it’s affecting you on a physical level and that there are ways without having to rehash the story which can be traumatizing that you can actually release the trauma. I can talk about a client in reference for that if you like who’s happy for me to talk about her story.
Edward: Please, I’d love to hear it.
Khadine: She’s happy for me to write about her story. I have a client who has Parkinson’s disease.
Edward: Michael J. Fox’s disease.
Khadine: Most people wouldn’t associate that with trauma.
Edward: Really? I thought it was genetic.
Khadine: Well I’ll tell you the story of my client and you can start to think about it for yourself about how trauma might actually affect a physical being. My client when she first started to see me she used to shake violently, constantly, it’d be very rare for her not to shake. After 3 sessions of working on past traumatic events she hardly ever shakes anymore. If she does it’s only if she’s had something that’s stressed her out or another traumatic episode happened to her but she’ll shake maybe for half an hour to an hour and then it would stop. It’s never gone back to shaking constantly again. She used to go to the toilet 9 times a night she’d be waking up to go to the toilet and now she sleeps through her whole night.
Edward: Wow that would be life changing.
Khadine: Yeah, she used to believe that she was going to die at 60 so she had stopped planning her life because she was about to turn 60. We pulled that apart and she thought it was about a premonition that she had and we pulled it apart and it was actually something her mum told her as a child and she’d taken it on at a deep level but not remembered that her mum actually told her that.
Edward: What, her mother said you’ll probably die at 60?
Khadine: You’ll die at 60 because you had this condition as a child and it damaged your heart so you’ll be lucky to make it 60 but yeah 60 will be your limit.
Khadine: We exposed that and released the trauma around that and reseal her memory about that and that she’s turned 60 now and she’s looking forward to living till 80s and 90s, she’s planning life and she’s living life again.
Khadine: I’ve seen her 6 sessions and that’s just some of the results with her. That’s made a massive impact on her life and her condition of Parkinson’s. She even broke up with her boyfriend because she’s so embarrassed about her jaw shaking so we worked on that, feelings of anxiety, embarrassment and now she hardly feels any sort of discomfort when that happens and she doesn’t try to hide it anymore and so her jaw doesn’t shake as much anymore, she hasn’t got the anxiety associated with that.
Edward: Wow, so you were able to treat or unlock some of her old painful memories that’s greatly enriched her quality of life?
Khadine: Yeah, what the tapping or the EFT does is it works on where that emotion or experience is held on to the body and it allows that to release. The philosophy behind the tapping is that when we have an event it creates a block in our energy system because remember we’re all energy, we’re all made of vibration and that when you focus on that issue and you tap around that issue then you release the blockage. When you release that blockage then it allows for those emotions to also go.
With this client we worked on a very specific traumatic event, one that she blamed her Parkinson’s for and I caught up with her 3 weeks later to see how she was doing she couldn’t even remember what we worked on. We’d worked on it so effectively it had totally gone out of her psyche, she wasn’t even thinking about that event anymore. I had to remind her, I’m like we worked on this and she’s like I don’t even think about that anymore where before it was a constant thing in her mind, this traumatic thing. She thought about the person that was involved and she’s like I can’t even get any emotion come up around that person anymore.
Khadine: That was one longer session working on that one traumatic event.
Edward: Wow, so you were able to effectively treat a Parkinson’s by dealing with these deep routed traumas.
Khadine: Well I don’t know that I’m treating the Parkinson’s but I’m certainly … by addressing the past traumas it’s certainly improving her health. I won’t say that I’m treating the Parkinson’s because we don’t specifically look at how can we help your Parkinson’s but we’re looking at what traumas she’s had, what stresses are in her life and doing our best to remove those and address those and pull back the layers of her onion and the benefits of that is that her health improves.
Edward: There’s one thing I was going to say I get with you Khadine we’ve spoken about this before you’ve got a razor sharp perception. I don’t know what it is but whenever I’m in front of you I actually feel quite insecure. I feel like your razor sharp wit which is generations beyond my own is just scanning me up and down, it’s like you could see right through me and I love it. I think it’s great. I mean it’s funny to say but where did your razor sharp perception come from, have you always been like this, how did you get I suppose perceptive? You make even an ex-operative like me feel uncomfortable. I hope you never become a cop, I hope you never become a cop Khadine.
Khadine: Honestly it’s not something I really think about. It’s just, I guess I would just put on my practitioner hat and I’d go with the flow and I guess all my life experiences and then all my experiences in working with natural therapies and teaching massage for 12 years and then becoming a social worker and having all that other knowledge behind me it really adds to what I can perceive and what I can understand for what’s happening for an individual. Because I’ve had so much happen in my own life, I’ve had a very eventful life to say the least I can relate, nothing surprises me at the end of the day. People can’t surprise me, nothing is too shocking for me so I find it easy to relate to whatever is happening for somebody. It’s easy for me to come up with little gems that they’re not aware about just by watching their responses, I know when I’ve triggered something.
Edward: I was going to say and we’ve spoken about this before you were a social worker.
Khadine: I was, I was.
Edward: Tell us about that, I mean I still find that story fascinating, what is a social worker, what did you do?
Khadine: Well before I became a social worker I was actually in the community sector probably for 10 years. I was on a management committee at a women’s health center for 10 years.
Edward: Wow, on the main streets of Sydney?
Khadine: At a women’s health center Parramatta.
Khadine: Yeah, yeah. That was a great experience. While I wasn’t well enough to work I still kept myself busy reeducating myself and volunteering in community organizations quite a fair bit. Again a lot of experience there and once I finished my health education I still wasn’t well enough to work so I thought I can’t sit down doing nothing so I went to Uni but Uni wouldn’t let me study part time in social work believe it or not even though social work is meant to be about equality and social justice and access and equity.
Edward: You can’t study it fulltime and your credit card has to work.
Khadine: Yeah so I had to change the systems so I could study part time, so I managed to do that and it was necessary for me because at the beginning of my course my cognition was so bad from the high levels of cortisol affecting my brain and my cognition that I’d have to read a single line 10 times to make sense of it. Of course my essays at Uni I didn’t pass. Coming from TAFE where I had distinctions which is the highest level at TAFE I was suddenly failing at Uni.
Edward: Talking to a Middle Eastern man who is what he achieves that’s a dagger straight to the heart with me.
Khadine: Yeah, but I think some of my greatest social work actually happened at Uni because through my experiences and working with the then coordinator who would establish transition class for TAFE’s students coming to uni because as TAFE student you got a year off Uni but you missed out on all the first year stuff which told you the uni rules and the uni language.
Edward: You rack up behind the 8 ball.
Khadine: Yeah even though in some ways you should be ahead. We end up introducing that which is really good and because I fought to study part time that also meant other people who had chronic illnesses could also study part time. That was really good to see that other people benefited from …
Edward: I was going to say your life be battle for the underdog aren’t you, you’re like the game changer.
Khadine: Yeah, not consciously but to make it happen for myself I had to make it happen for everybody at the end of the day so at least while I was at Uni people had access to studying part time. I can’t say that it’s still like that but yeah we made some changes happen.
Edward: Wow, I can see that. You not only changed the way universities work but then you were a… and then you worked as a social worker.
Khadine: I did, after that I got first class honors. After not being able to read a single sentence I got first class honors after all of that, after 6 years of pain.
Edward: Was there anyone that you sort of took a transcript of your marks to and went nye, nye, nye?
Edward: You went and posted on Facebook.
Khadine: They all knew who I was.
Edward: I got to say I mean obviously you and I have been friends for a few years now and I think your story is very amazing. It’s like, it’s funny even though I’ve known you I never quite knew the extent of what you’ve actually been through in life and I think what’s really amazing is, again if I go back to the first time I met you which was 2 years ago, maybe a little bit more than that is you’re just a normal happy go lucky person and I never even thought till this moment this amazing traumas you’ve overcome, these experiences that you’ve had. I guess …
Khadine: It makes me good at my work because I have the attitude that you can either sit and not take responsibility which is very easy to do or you can, instead of saying poor me you can say well what can I do to take responsibility, what little thing today can I do? It doesn’t have to be a big thing it might be just putting on a meditation CD if that’s what you’re able to do.
Khadine: We all have little ways that we can take charge of our lives and sometimes we need someone else to guide us on ways to do that.
Edward: Because I mean …
Khadine: I couldn’t have done it by myself. I’ve come a long way but if I didn’t access other people to help me along the way I wouldn’t be where I am now.
Edward: Though granted other people helped you there are plenty of people who have more help than you and better circumstances than you that haven’t achieved the happiness and abundance that you have.
Khadine: It’s a bad attitude, it’s about deciding what you want to be happy with in life. I could wish for big houses and stuff but that’s just a thing, a big house doesn’t actually make you happier in the day, happiness is something within yourself, it’s not an external thing. You can have everything in the external world but it doesn’t make you happy. Look at all the people that are famous …
Edward: That topped themselves.
Khadine: That topped themselves or which I’ve been watching in excess this last week the story of Michael Hutchence, there’s so many famous people who are really unhappy regardless of how much money they have and it’s not about that at the end of the day, it’s about finding your inner peace no matter what’s happening in your life. If I didn’t do that I’d probably be still stuck in bed.
Edward: Wow, that’s amazing. Again I don’t do this anymore and I think you pulled me up on this once, I used to be a man who was a little bit too obsessive with his own sob story and you pulled me up on this once. Yeah Khadine holds me accountable everyone, there you go, but as I’ve grown up and when I say grown up I only feel like I’ve personally grown up in the past year and as I’ve matured I think I realized that my sob story is nothing, what I’ve been through is nothing compared to your story and …
Khadine: For me my story is nothing compared to other people’s stories.
Khadine: There’s people, there’s always someone who has a worse story and for me that was one of the hard things when I was being asked this for my own trauma because I had to do 4 hours’ worth of forms and they’re all 1 out of 10.
Edward: Right and you’re busy trying to stay awake and tug at the sheet are you?
Khadine: I went back to the psychiatrist at the time that was helping me to get my disability pension and he said well you’re either lying about your experiences or you’re underscoring yourself. For me I would say my pain is pretty bad but I can imagine it being worse, I can imagine someone else going through worse.
Edward: You would automatically mentally compensate for you pain.
Khadine: I would automatically downscale, yeah. I would automatically downscale because I could imagine it could be worse. I felt like I was dying by the way but I automatically went into that process where I can imagine it could be worse for somebody else.
Edward: Yeah, I mean going through to this direct question do you believe in God?
Khadine: Do I believe in God, interesting question. I believe in something, I don’t know that I’d necessarily call it God, whether you want to call it source, the universe, God, I think it’s all the same at the end of the day. For me I’m a deeply spiritual person but not a religious person. I don’t actually, I’m not a big supporter of organized religion because I think a lot of organized religion comes back down to control and manipulation.
Edward: Well honestly this is like the Cuban Revolution. I’m glad this interview hasn’t been recorded, I’m glad it’s not going to be up on the internet for everyone to see Khadine.
Khadine: Well my views are always out there I don’t really hide my views so I figure if people don’t like my views well they’re probably not my ideal client anyway and it’s their issue if they don’t like my views.
Edward: That’s sounds great …
Khadine: Because they’re educated views. It’s not like I just think yeah that’s a bad thing and then or listen to some shock jock and just go with the flow and think that that’s okay.
Edward: I’ve never done that Khadine.
Khadine: No, I actually do my research before I make my views.
Edward: You’re not like me, you just don’t …
Khadine: It’s about observation.
Edward: You don’t actually just hear something great on TV and pretend it’s fact like I do all the time?
Edward: Okay, so you’re actually intelligent and you actually apply research principles.
Khadine: Yeah but it can even be based on life. I used to go to church a lot as a kid and I loved church, I would go by myself. In fact one day I freaked my grandparents out because I went from Sunday school and caught the bus to church without telling them so they didn’t know where I was. I actually really liked it but my experiences of church were dulled when my mum who’s schizophrenic broke up with her fiancé who was also involved with the church and they told her she was only unwell because that was God’s way of punishing her.
Khadine: That’s got nothing to do with Christianity and I think that there’s 2 sides of Christianity. There’s the side where you must feel guilty, you must feel bad, you mustn’t be gay, you mustn’t do this and then there’s the other side of Christianity that preaches and it what I believe is the true side of Christianity that Christianity is about love, it’s about acceptance, it’s about forgiveness. It’s not for us to judge anybody at all, it’s for God to judge not for us as humans to judge anybody but to love people. I think too many religious organizations get caught in the you must feel guilty, you must follow our rules otherwise you’re not okay and that’s where the control and the power comes in.
Edward: It’s funny because I mean as you know I’m quite a strong Christian and just to clarify I’m on your side on this one. I think one thing that I got to give to the, at least a lot of the new age church movement is they’ve gone on a lot from dogma and more about helping people and that type of thing. I hate to say it it’s … and I’ll bring up this topic is as you know I’m obviously a straight guy granted a lot of people think my Melbourne accent sounds very gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but I’m a straight guy, I’ve always been that way and I’ve always been a Christian and I’ve always been pro equality marriage. For a while it was undecided but once I got the information in I said you know what I don’t care who I stand up against. At the end of the day if 2 heterosexual people can be miserable then 2 guys or 2 girls can be miserable.
Khadine: That’s right, that’s right.
Edward: I think though, I think what …
Khadine: Equality goes further than that in marriage. A lot of religious organizations really promote a pedagogical structure where the man is the head of the house but really for happy relationships you need equality in relationships.
Khadine: Whether that’s heterosexual relationships or same sex relationships, relationships need to be based on equality, respect, mutual love and trust and acknowledging each other and nurturing that relationship every day.
Edward: I think it’s just, it’s interesting like … and you’re aware of this and just for the audience it’s that I’m a big fan of George Takei. Now if you know who George Takei is he’s Sulu from Star Trek. Sulu I think it was later in life he came out as a gay man, is that right?
Khadine: Yeah I think so.
Edward: Later in life and he came out and now he’s an active gay campaigner. He’s amazing on Facebook, if he just puts out a post on Facebook I’ve seen it within 5 seconds he has 100,000 likes. It’s just ridiculous, it’s like everyone around the world, and he’s got like I don’t know 6 million followers or something ridiculous like that.
Edward: I remember he put out this interesting post on Facebook which says look I’m straight but I’m fully behind same sex stuff because I believe in happiness and I posted that on Facebook.
Khadine: Yes I remember.
Edward: Tell us and the audience what happened when I put that photo up on Facebook.
Khadine: You had this really vile comment from somebody that was really full of hate and total, he’s going on about how to factor homosexual relationships are miserable and unhappy and it’s just so untrue. In fact the latest research it was on TV today if you want to believe the TV it says same sex relationships are generally happier.
Edward: Well it’s funny, now I’m going to be bring you back to the money being a Persian man from Inner West Sydney, bring you back to money is I have a lot of gay men and gay women as our clients, as in the personal mentoring clients and I’ve been ripped off way more by heterosexual people than I have gays. It’s like from a business point of view I’ve found again generalizing here but just being … I suppose in a positive way I’m generalizing is I felt gay men and women have been great in business.
Khadine: A lot of companies are after the pink dollar. When you look at the parade these days there’s not much political about it but you have all these companies putting floats in to promote themselves on the guise that they’re promoting equality within their company but at the end of the day it’s good marketing for them. It’s the biggest event in Sydney on the calendar, brings more tourist dollars in than any other event into New South Wales every year.
Edward: You’re saying the gay Mardi Gras in Sydney is the biggest tourism event?
Khadine: Most people who watch the Gay Mardi Gras are heterosexuals.
Khadine: Yes, all the fliers you see and stuff are pretty much heterosexuals getting up to mischief when they’re drunk watching the parade.
Edward: This is amazing, I just think it’s hilarious but what was interesting going back to that Facebook post this is where I’m sort of going is that where it affected me and put a black mark against my name was that it was all justified by religion. He made, this vile fellow made comments saying animal, he called it animal marriage.
Khadine: Yeah he called it animal marriage, very offensive.
Edward: Then he justified it using religion and I’m sitting there as a Christian basically saying I don’t know who or what you are but you are not a religious person, this is wrong, you can’t do that.
Khadine: It’s just hateful.
Edward: It was pure hate and then I of course fueled the fire then put up a picture of Hitler in that Facebook comment just for him but the thing that I found is it was just amazing that level of judgment and misinformation and I think bringing it back to sort of a commercial sort of discussion is it’s still very surprising that a lot of people do have that anti-homosexual sentiment but of course companies are willing to overlook it if they’re going to make a buck out of it.
Khadine: That’s right, that’s right, yeah.
Khadine: Or even that all religious organizations are allowed to be discriminatory, they’re exempt from any discrimination laws. Even like at a religious school if they find out a teacher is gay they have the right to fire them for no other reason than the fact that they’re gay.
Edward: Yeah, it’s funny I actually used to teach Sunday school and I was at a very good church by the way, this is Grace Christian Church in Hobart and actually a really good church, they are pretty tolerant that way. I remember I would let’s say speak to Christians even from the evangelical movement, Christians from other premises and I’m talking to, you can get the most peaceful, nicest looking Christian girl sitting there and the moment homosexuality comes up as a topic this almost Aryan Union Hitleresk side of them just comes out of nowhere. It’s funny …
Khadine: That’s programming. When the religion is meant to be based on loving, accepting, forgiveness, not judging people, that’s meant to be at the heart of Jesus’ teachings are those principles.
Edward: I hate to say it and one of the reasons why I moved on from the church was there was too much hate going on.
Khadine: Yeah, I find it amazing how people cradle this stuff but you look back into … and it’s stuff that queries mainly from the first part of the bible but in that part you could kill your neighbor because it was an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, they expected you to slaughter sheep to give to God and all this other stuff. You were allowed to have a slave, which was allowed.
Edward: Yeah, where today we have our Starbucks.
Khadine: People quote when it’s …
Edward: Poor Starbucks, I love you Starbucks.
Khadine: … when it’s convenient from the first testament but Christianity basically isn’t really governed by the testament greatly because it has so much of this archaic stuff that we just don’t accept in modern society but when it’s convenient they’ll pull something out of it. Then you have other scholars like one of my previous counselors she was, she was with the Uniting Church and she was a minister and she said to me look, how it’s actually been interpreted is wrong from the original language to English. The original language says that being a pedophile is long not being a homosexual is wrong.
Edward: Then they twisted it over time to suit their agenda.
Edward: It’s interesting because again I am a proud Christian, I have it all over, I’m straight up about it granted I do commit a few sins here and there.
Khadine: Don’t we all?
Edward: Yeah, don’t we all? At the end of the day I’m not pretending that I’m some high and almighty god because I’m like anyone else. The thing that I think I found amazing is that especially in talking religion how and even the new pope came out and said this.
Khadine: He’s awesome.
Edward: Yeah, he’s just sitting there calling it as it is, saying look we’re just obsessed with hating gays and abortion we need to actually get back to our root job.
Khadine: That’s right.
Edward: It’s like whether abortion or homosexuality is right or wrong at the end of the day the new pope is saying our efforts are misaligned, we’re weighing too much of our energy to these minor issues compared to the big objective.
Khadine: That’s right, and things like abortion shouldn’t be governed by religious beliefs anyway. They’re a medical, it’s a medical issue it’s not a religious issue at the end of the day so it shouldn’t be governed by governments based on any one person’s religious beliefs because at the end of the day when you make abortions harder to access then it opens up an avenue for backyard abortions to start again and when that happens women die and they die terribly.
The reality is when we had the Howard government and Tony Abbott was the health minister he made it really difficult for women to access abortions. He made it that you could no longer access abortions through Medicare, through your Medicare card so that you would have to pay upfront $500 so you could access your abortion so who’s not going to be able to access that is the most disadvantaged women and you only got half of it back at the end of the day. I could go on about that but I won’t but I’ve sort of made my statement there. It’s a religious decision based on … which should be a medical one.
Edward: Yeah and I think it’s amazing and I think, and again going back to the Facebook post and the reason why I’m sort of refocusing on that is that shocked me, I was shocked.
Khadine: Yeah, am not.
Edward: Yeah, sorry that you weren’t shocked, I’m sorry to hear and I think I know why you weren’t shocked based on the shit you must have seen over the years but it was just amazing because again I’m sitting here as a marketing mentor granted I’ve done special stuff with the government in an earlier life. I’m sitting here as a marketing mentor just helping people, living my life and such extreme stuff comes out of nowhere and it’s …
Khadine: Yeah, such hate.
Edward: It’s interesting this one event that this guy had done had started quite a big discussion amongst us and our peers.
Edward: Yes and now the, it’s no longer, it’s moved on from is gay, are gay, is homosexual really good or bad but it’s moved on to how do we stop these haters.
Khadine: Yeah, that’s nice.
Edward: Yeah, so what’s interesting is everyone now things gays are great but let’s go after these haters.
Khadine: Yeah but you can’t, beat hate with hate at the end of the day.
Edward: Well it does work to a certain point don’t you think?
Edward: Well if you really hate someone you’ll shut them down, right?
Khadine: Is it that effective, do you really shut down? A lot of people hate gay people but have they shut them down at the end of the day? No.
Edward: No, no.
Khadine: They protested and put themselves at risk, they got bashed up numerous times, gangers still get bashed up so people can hate them all they like but they haven’t rolled over and lay down. They’re still not stuck hiding out in clubs at the back of a golf course having to run away if police burst them for being gay. Do you know what I mean?
Khadine: That hasn’t stopped anything, you can only face hate with love I think at the end of the day. You can’t beat hate with hate, that’s why nobody wins wars at the end of the day because both sides suffer and there’s innocent people fighting. Just because someone’s in the army they might not believe in that cause, they might have no choice to be in that army and they hurt as much as anybody on our side and they die just as well on our side.
Khadine: There’s always casualties that have nothing to do with the war, so who wins at the end of the day? Not really anybody.
Edward: Yeah, it’s funny bringing, we’ve covered a lot of issues today.
Khadine: Yeah covered a lot of issues, been more like a political interview than …
Edward: Yeah, it was interesting and I actually won this debate and it was with a friend of mine, this is actually through the Edward Files blog and what it was that I come from a military background and so I think granted I’ve got quite a few left leaning views I come from, I’m a military thinker. Even before I joined the military I naturally thought that way and what was interesting is I had this debate with a very good colleague of mine and he knows who he is and I really admire that guy but we disagreed on this point. What it was that well basically saying okay Edward is … having a shot at me, Edward you got to left stuff go, you’re too negative, blah, blah, blah. My argument to that was I’m not negative but if I see someone doing the wrong thing to someone, if someone picks on one of my friends I’ll step in and help.
Khadine: Yeah, so would I.
Edward: This is interesting, you and I are on the same side I’m more just pretending to disagree for the interview but you and I are actually on the same side of this but what was interesting is this person was just, anything to the extreme I think is too much. He was taking the pacifism to the extreme. It’s like well, and I challenged him I said look if someone walked up to me and bagged you I really like you, I would yell at them and shut them down. He goes well if someone did that to me I wouldn’t. I go what do you mean? I was a bit offended. He said well what I’d do is I’d just tell them, I’d just … they’re their life and it’s their path and I’d let them do it.
I said, you know where I’m going, I said … so I closed it. I said so you wouldn’t intervene when bad things happen? No I wouldn’t, so I took it to the extreme. A woman is getting assaulted at a train station late at night are you going to let that go because it’s someone else’s life? Then of course the conversation ended abruptly.
Edward: I mean my point being the reason why I took that arch is it’s … I understand your antiwar message but what happens when that line of justice gets crossed and peaceful means don’t work?
Khadine: It’s not an antiwar message it’s a for peace message. We attract what we put out there so that’s why it’s not great to go to an antiwar protest.
Edward: With a bunch of guns.
Khadine: You want to go to a peace protest not an antiwar protest. It’s nice to say well what happens if it doesn’t work out but the reality is the economy to a big extent relies on weaponry to be sold for wars so wars have to continue for some governments to keep money in their coffers because they rely on wars for their money. That’s reality. How many wars would decrease if there wasn’t that reliance on weaponry?
Edward: That’s a very interesting question and I think a question for our second interview Khadine. Bringing it back to you we’ve spoken about … now what have we talked about, we’ve talked about pharmaceutical companies, Michael Moore, the military industrial complex, the line of justice, homosexuality religion, this has been great.
Khadine: A bit about posttraumatic stress.
Edward: A bit about my own issues, defending my own country once.
Khadine: A bit about color.
Edward: A bit about color, bringing it back to you I think … I mean the thing, and this is what has always drawn me to you and I think when we first met I always felt this woman is awesome and then being friends with you has been such an honor. I think the thing that always really has drawn me to you and even so this interview in the past hour or so that we’ve spoken has really taken that, even though I thought highly of you it’s taken it to that next level. How did you, you’ve overcome some extreme things in your life to create quite a high quality level of life for yourself.
Khadine: I do have quite a high quality level of life, I might not have what other people would say as defined as successful life but compared to where I’ve come from I have a great life and I’m happy with my life and to me great success is about how happy you are at the end of the day.
Edward: I suppose this is the big question of the audience and my question of you is that and from someone who’s been through a lot if someone is feeling down and not right about themselves what’s your advice to them, what would you say to someone in that position?
Khadine: To keep knocking on doors until you find the right person to help you. There’s so many different things out there and not one person, not one thing is the right remedy for everybody. There isn’t one thing that’s great that would be an all indoor for everybody and it’s a journey, life is a journey and if you’ve had trauma or something like that it’s a matter of finding the right person or the right range of people would be part of your team to help you work through that and get back to where you want to be or to pass where you ever were which is in my case the truth.
I’m happier and healthier on many levels than I ever have been in my life so you just got to keep knocking on doors and you got to become knowledgeable yourself and take responsibility and take that first step because no one can make you happy and no one can change your life only you at the end of the day.
Edward: What do you mean by personal responsibility?
Khadine: Personal responsibility is instead of saying poor me I’ve had this happen no matter how traumatic it is, I’ve had very traumatic things happen in my life and I could say poor me, I had a step father who thought it was great to hold me underwater, I’ve had all sorts of stuff happen to me. I was almost kidnapped once on the way to school, I’ve had lots of stuff happen in my life and I could say poor me but poor me wouldn’t have got me off my bed.
You have to wake up and say what can I do for me today instead of saying this person did this to me and now it’s ruined my life you got to say well this happened but how am I going to overcome that and how I’m I going to win for myself? Because if you give in and say poor me then that person or that event wins not you at the end of the day. You have to wake up and say okay what can I do for me today and who do I need to help me to get to where I want to be?
Edward: Wow, that’s amazing. That’s amazing hearing it and seeing this other side of you Khadine.
Edward: I’ve got to say we’ve been here for an hour and I think anything you want to tell the audience before we let them go on their way?
Khadine: What do I want to tell the audience, I don’t know. What do you think I should tell the audience?
Edward: Well …
Khadine: Well a great tool is EFT if you want to get rid of that baggage.
Edward: There you go, so there’s a sales pitch from Khadine and you heard it yourself.
Khadine: I use it because I believe in it. I use EFT because I believe in it, it’s made a major change in my life and I see the changes in other peoples’ lives.
Edward: I think as well I mean to me you’re the proof of what you’re saying. I mean you’re … I mean I’ve been, my trauma doesn’t even compare to what you’ve been through and I’ve been through some quite severe things myself and I think you’re the walking testament. To me you walk the talk, you didn’t just watch some stuff on YouTube and spouting it, you’re trained, you’ve been through it yourself and the life you’ve created is amazing and the fact you’re in pain in front of me and you’re just sitting here delivering so much I think is very amazing.
Khadine: Thanks, thanks.
Edward: There you go, so thank you guys it’s been … and girls, there’s no discrimination around there.
Khadine: That’s right.
Edward: Thank you guys and girls of all …
Khadine: Girls and guys.
Edward: Girls and guys and guys and guys and all that, to everyone we believe in equality and thank you for taking the time to listen to myself Edward Zia talk Marketing business and life with Khadine. It’s been a pleasure and I just want to say thank you Khadine it’s been an amazing experience.
Khadine: Thanks Ed for having me, thanks everybody.
Edward: Have a good day and night everyone and make sure you visit Khadine’s site and contact her to learn some great stuff. See you guys, bye.