For me I am certainly smiling this Christmas and as I reflect back, this is the best Christmas I have ever had – other than my young teenage days where I would play plenty of multi-player video games or shared some “Summer Love” Olivia Newton & John Travolta style (I wish lol).
I love my line of work and in dealing with so many people and even though I am hardly a psychologist (professionally I am a Marketing Mentor & Educator) I hear all types of stories from people of all walks of life.
In some of my Government work I would be in extreme situations over and over again and oddly enough – many of those surveillance and interviewing skills I developed prepared me beautifully for what I do and love today. Even though I have trouble recalling much of what happened, I do get glimpses back every now and then (that equally terrify or inspire me).
One thing that I always tend to reflect on and ask myself is the question no doubt humanity and asked them about the “Fairness” of society. The common cliche, the person born into a wealthy family and the person born disabled or onto the streets.
Christmas I have found is a very polarizing time of the year for many people in that it reminds people of the highs or reminds people of the lows / lack of in their life. For me personally, Christmas is usually the latter – so it takes a strong sense of Christian Faith and focus to keep me grounded in these times.
In my own experience, about 50% of people usually have a negative experience over Christmas for a variety of reasons. Some are extreme situations like I encountered in my early days, but more often today I think a lot of people are reminded by the lack in their lives. Be it Finances, Relationships or Physical Health – I find that results not being what people want can be a great source of unhappiness.
If you are having a rocking Christmas and feel good – then my hat goes off to you. I am really happy for you and the last thing I want to do is take your buzz away. I am the opposite of that actually, if you are having a great Christmas – appreciate, love it more and party hard.
If you are not, then I think Christmas is an important time to not only make your appreciate what you have, but think critically and carefully about how you can turn things around in 2014.
One of my big lessons some years ago was that I hit Christmas and I was a point in my life where I was a recovering alcoholic, had no real friends and my girlfriend just left me. Being interstate too, I was a very painful Christmas in terms of isolation and loneliness.
I remember it only too well, but this was a great thing. It got me for the first time in my life taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for what happened. I realized that my position was my own fault. Sure, I could blame my girlfriend for leaving me – but yes, I was a drunk and yes I could have lived a much cleaner life and found someone much better.
This got me asking constructive questions about myself and how I can improve my life. It was some years till I had the maturity to put this into action, but this questioning of my own self, my own results and my own behaviour was vital in the coming years ahead.
I know plenty of you reading this article can relate to exactly what I mean. You may be here now feeling either great and saying “Poor Ed, sorry this happened to him” or perhaps you directly relate.
Part of what causes a great deal of pain in not just Christmas and Lack is when you start asking questions of “Well, my friend has it all and why don’t I?”. That is the basic question of inequality which I still don’t think has every been answered properly by any Religion or Scientific method (as much as I am a Christian, I think their answer still needs much more development). To me, asking that primary question or it’s derivative can often be a destructive exercise.
To me the true answer in dealing with Christmas Blues is really appreciating what you have. What I failed to do when I was younger was realize “Wait a Second, you have your health with a few weeks of gym work, find some great friends and change your life now”.
That has worked out beautifully! That thinking has changed my life for the better. Even 12 months ago, I was in a tricky position of almost losing my business with a large client not paying me (at the time I was mostly reliant on them). Christmas 2012 was a time filled of stress for me. Financially, career wise and my partner then (great woman and friends today) was about to move on from me.
My thinking then last year was to make 2013 the year it all changed. And guess what, it did? Ha ha – I am still single and searching for Mrs. Crazy Persian, but being single is great for me and happy with as long as it takes for me to find the right woman. Financially, Spiritually, Physically (I do hit the gym) and Relationship wise I am miles ahead and very happy.
The big question which I have just answered, Why did 2013 rock? Was it because I was lucky? Not this time, I had a very successful but very painful 2013 because I went in there ready to CHANGE EVERYTHING and HOLD ONTO NOTHING to build the life I want for myself.
So 2014 I am ready for that next level, and it was my willingness to change everything and grow that has improved my quality of life in all areas.
I am 35 now, I wish I did that 10 years ago LOL.
So as an “Old” Persian Man, may I say to you if you are having fun then have more. If you are not having fun, make this your time of reflection and turn your life around in 2014.
Merry Christmas 2013 Awesome Friends! Thank you all for reading this and supporting me in turning my own life around for the better!