Self-Respect: The Two Way Street and Loving the Reflection!

Self-Respect - My life never worked till I started developing it!

Self-Respect – My life never worked till I started developing it!

I am very grateful to have yet another amazing day in my marketing consulting business.  This post I would like to dedicate to my awesome CPA with whom I met with today.  I am also thinking of the hard-working and amazing Jenny Kuo (from Sociable Space) as I write this article.

Like many of my clients (who are about 70% awesome female business owners), my CPA fits the perfect profile of many of them.  Kind, good natured, technically brilliant, hard-working and of course not realizing how awesome they actually are!

Relating to this experience myself, I have spent many years of my life with little respect for myself.  This has led to a disastrous life for myself in a range of areas.  One big one was how badly my career progressed.  As I never had respect for myself, I would always be attracted to employers that merely gave me respect matching my own internal respect.  This resulted in earning far less than what I deserve, working incredible hours, generating results without any long-term benefit to myself and having nothing to show for years of hard work when I was moved on in all instances.

Many corporate rebels like myself are dealing with fallout from years of ill treatment in corporate environments.  I used to think it was “only ee” (which is no doubt their intent) only to realize there are many which had it worse than me a range of ways.  I have heard amazing stories and personally observed a range of things covering:

– Sexual harassment (e.g “sex for job security”).

– Forced to commit crimes to keep your job (happened to me once, and I said no and called their bluff).

– Standard corporate bullying.

– Theft by withholding entitlements and commissions.

– Women being penalized.

All very sad stuff and after speaking with my CPA and reflecting on my past, it’s all about respect.  That is, many corporates and even people in our own lives treat us with such disrespect and contempt, we must be careful not to let it change our own view of “self-respect”.  The big mistake I made was not keeping up my self respect and them getting to me and their lies rubbing off on me.

When I went into my own business and escaped that abuse, the thing that I found strange (as many others do) is that it can take some time to detox from what happens to us.  In my case, even years later:

– I still have nightmares.

– I still act with poor confidence at times.

– I still don’t treat myself fairly.

– But I am getting over it!

To my poor friends and clients alike – if for whatever reason you don’t have good self-respect, I encourage you to really work on this part of your life.  As my self-respect has increased, my income and results have increased! So it’s important and totally critical!

There are no secret answers, but I can say one great technique I learnt in the church and did myself:

– Every day Write 10 x Things (every morning) about why you can realistically self-respect yourself!

It can be little things! Eating health, loving your children, helping someone – or even from your past, reflecting on big things and missions you have won.  I did this exercise mentally and it worked, but many need to write it down.  Reflect on why you are awesome!

So if you are down on yourself and letting yourself get walked over, you have little self-respect, so please work on it! Don’t stuff up your life like I did, and if you have – just improve and don’t punish yourself!

Why do some stick to “Vague Positivity” Over Real Benefits?

I Think I am Buying The House – Right?

After my great experience last month with people tarnishing “Positive Thinking” by using it to try to manipulate me into joining their Multi-Level-Marketing Scheme, it took me back to what this lovely old Greek Millionaire told me when I started my first Marketing Manager job in Hobart:

[In a Thick Greek Accent] – People don’t Buy Advertising, they Buy Good Quality.

This business attitude (which obviously works for this man who owns many properties across Hobart) really got me thinking for years.  Ironically today, we see only too many companies that are as “Sleek” as can be.

You buy their goods and ouch! You get totally burnt – yet the Advertising was so Good! In terms of those people trying to manipulate me into some of the poorer MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) schemes out there – I really think they know their product is weak, so their only hope is by bringing out the “Positive Charm”.

It’s a real pity, I actually do quite like “Positive Thinking” – however, unfortunately many have figured out it’s a great way to your wallet or purse.  In my own business and learning from others is that at the end of the day, people have two questions:

– Will Your Product Help Me?

– Can I Trust You?

After working in Marketing for a while now, it’s fair to say that many people are sick of being ripped off and consumers today can really see through the “BS” and just want to know what is relevant to them!  For example, if you are a Website Designer people want to know the benefits i.e:

– “My Great Websites will help you sell more Online. We use the latest in Website Approaches and work closely with Google to ensure they get a strong presence. Here is what some of my customers have said…”.

This is much more powerful than “Positive Fluff” which says:

– “Do you want to achieve your dreams? Have ever lasting Milk and Honey flowing in Abundance? Learn about my websites now!”

Many (including myself) have learnt the hard way – don’t BS people and cut to the chase fast! I totally love Positive Thinking, but not how some charlatans abuse it!

I wish I learn this stuff 20 years ago!

[Edward’s Comment years later after writing this article: That “Good Quality” reference has been proven true over and over again. It not only built my business, but I used that thinking to help turn around of dozens of fledgling businesses that lacked that strength in their own models].