Archives May 2011

Success: Turning Up 1 Time More after Everyone Quits!

Learning to Overcome Rejection - Oww, it hurt's about here?

Learning to Overcome Rejection – Oww, it hurt’s about here?

To me this is a very profound concept. In not just my own Small Business, but when I used to Job Hunt – I really learnt how hard the “Real World” can actually be.  My great Mother (God Bless Her) is an amazing woman and Ex-Inspector in the Police Force. She was beaten up for years by an Abusive Father (alcoholic you name it!), fought with the UN (in Peace Keeping Operators and had fought in real gun battles) and seen lots of people die in front of her.

This realism gave her a great grounding in the respect that she used to tell me “The World is a Tough Place”, “It’s Hard” and Success if often turning up 1 time more after everyone else quits.

If anything, I have learnt that I should have listened to my mother more often! But oh no, her comes all the “Positive Thinkers” out of the woodwork. They come along, hype you up and make out with their tools or a “Simple, Dog-Easy to Follow Strategy” you can make $1,000,000 / Min without leaving the house.

You and I are intelligent people. You and I know that they are probably one of two things:

– Lying to rip you off, show off, or take advantage of you.
– Have had Mummy & Daddy pay for everything and have had a sheltered life.

In my experience, it’s usually about 60% / 40% – or a combination of both. The reality is that the “Pain / Avoidance of Rejection” kills many Small Businesses and prevents many of us getting the Promotions in our Careers that we deserve.

My mum always said you got to take the pain. You got to stick at it. You got to survive the longest. It’s such a true lesson, the people who often succeed aren’t the “Smarter” ones or the “Better Looking” ones, it’s the ones that stick at it beyond everyone else that quits.

So why do we ignore mums advice? Because it’s painful! In our own business, we get so much rejection. And it’s tough! But once you get over the fact that it’s “Tough” and enjoy the process, the “Law of Averages” kick in.

If you only meet 1 person a day and get rejected – it’s soul crushing! If you meet 10 people a day and get rejected 8 times – it’s great! (Because you have 2 wins!). I know it can suck at times. I know it can feel really bad when you get rejected.

But when you avoid rejection, you are avoiding the possibility of growing your business, getting that dream job – or even finding a partner! My advice to you – EMBRACE REJECTION! It’s not easy at the start, but I can promise you – each day you do it, it becomes that bit easier. And to all you lying “Positive Thinkers” out there – grow up! Treat others and yourself with honesty and respect!

Boy – I wish I learnt this 20 years ago!

How does “Positive Thinking” Make Failure Harder?

If Your Milk Turns Sour - Don't Be The Pussy Who Drinks it!

If Your Milk Turns Sour - Don't Be The Pussy Who Drinks it!

“Positive Thinking” it it’s extreme form encourages one to just focus on the “Positives” in a given situation (duhh!).

Well that sounds obvious, and in fact – it’s great being Positive right? After all – when we feel positive, we just feel better, things flow better and we are likely to get what we want?

The universe will provide? All that “Financial Freedom” flowing to me in abundance? And oh no – watch out for those evil “Negative Thinkers” out there, who suck and work 9 to 5 everyday for their “Miserable Lives”.

After all, people who work 9 to 5 suck right? They aren’t enlightened like those “Positive Thinkers?” huh?

Interesting concept “Positive Thinkers”! How do you explain why 1/2 the world lives in Poverty? Let me guess – they are the “Negative Thinkers” according to your logic?

When I first arrived in Sydney (after moving up with Hobart) I picked up a contract with a really unethical and well known employer that really has a lot of people out there who aren’t big fans of them.  During this time, I really encountered pretty much the extreme or “Workplace Politics” from all directions.

As things were tough (and I had a lot of sources telling me how great “Positive Thinking” was) I gave it a shot and really applied it in this sense.  Cutting a long story short, by using “Positive Thinking” it made me really inactive, it stopped me considering relevant scenarios and making contingency plans in case I got the sack or something there.

So eventually, my contract ended early, things didn’t play out my way and while I was so busy “Being Positive” I didn’t deal with potential relaties such as being unemployed, or being prepared for tough times.

“Positive Thinking” in this case, got me into a lot of trouble – it didn’t keep me aware of my environment, or preparing for when things go bad.

Using a perishable goods example, it’s a bit like having 1L of Milk and the expiry date just lapses.  A bit of “Realistic Thinking” kicks in saying, hmm – I better do something about it. But then on no, “Positive Thinking” will tell you to ignore that and focus on how great things are, i.e. it came from a cow, it’s in a nice carton.  You then don’t do anything about it – and hey presto, your Milk Goes Sour!

Then you tell a “Positive Thinker” what happened to you and they just say you aren’t “Positive Enough!”.  Failure for many people (including myself) is a very tough thing to deal with, but “Positive Thinking” just makes it harder and worse.

If you are in a sticky situation or something isn’t going your way, please don’t screw up like I did and don’t be a “Positive Thinker” here – please be realistic and do whatever you need to do nice and early.

After All – if your Milk turns sour, don’t be the Pussy who ends up drinking it!

I wish I learnt this stuff 20 years ago!