Great spending time with the fine operator Len Elias.  He is a master of Face to Face Communications I learnt more than a thing or two speaking with him!

Great spending time with the fine operator Len Elias. He is a master of Face to Face Communications I learnt more than a thing or two speaking with him!

Be it Face to Face, Phone or even Email – personal communications is one of those key “Soft and Hard to Measure” areas of Sales.  BUT make no mistake, it’s a critical “Soft Skill” and if it’s not done properly it can mean the massive difference between getting Sales (or Not!).

I have been very lucky to connect lately with the amazing Len Elias – a fine South African fellow who has been in Australia for years and is in Financial Planning.  He is one amazing operator and outstanding at communications in that I have seen him adapt to various people and situations.  As we were speaking today, he was helping one of his fine staff Sue learn how to adapt to different personality types.  During our conversation he made a point that really sparked my interest leading to this article:

– “I am now 62, I have done this for years and I just do it naturally now”.

We spoke some more and he made that great reference to the ultimate level of learning “Unconscious Competence”.  This is that high level of mastery in that you are just competent without any conscious thought and you often work in auto-pilot being totally in the zone. When Len made this reference, it made me think to my earlier days!

Skill learning can be modelled in this way which I really like:

– Unconscious Incompetence: You suck and you don’t know it! Rats!

– Conscious Incompetence: You suck and you admit it! Yay!

– Conscious Competence: When you try hard you nail it.  Yay!

– Unconscious Competence: You just nail it naturally.  Super Yay!

Len is certainly in unconscious competence after all these years and in dedication to him I have included my Top 10 x Tips for Adapting to another Human. The more we adapt to the other in a Sales Situation, the greater our chance of a sale.  Why? Because it makes it easier to connect and build trust – making the sale more likely.

In dedication to Len’s fine commentary, here are my own personal 10 x Tips:

1) Integrity Rules: Always do it to connect with the person for their benefit.  You are offering the best product to the right person!

2) Stay Genuine: Flexing slightly to better communicate with someone is a great thing! Just don’t take it too far.  I hear people modelling whole body language and everything which strikes me as a bit fake.

3) Speed Up or Slow Down: It’s great to match the other persons speed.  If you are too fast for someone they will think you are fast-talking, if you are too slow – you are a dumb-ass!

4) Enter their World: Like slowing down your speech to speak with a non-english speaker, talking in more detail or being respectful to an elder – it’s about you tweaking your approach to respect them!

5) Listen Carefully: Make sure you are talking about what suits them and helping them!

6) Watch Personal Distance: Everyone has their own personal space.  Mine is actually quite large so respect it! You will feel if you get too close or too far – so manage it nicely and make them feel comfortable.

7) Your tone and pitch: Quiet down for quiet people.  Go loud for loud people! Why? Quiet people are annoyed by loud people and loud people can’t hear quiet people!

8) Use their own words: Listen to the words people use and explain points to them using their own words if need be.  Makes them relax and makes communication easier.

9) Smile: Always smile! Even if they are unhappy as that will lift them

10) Care and Feel the Love: Use your emotions and feelings – are you really connecting with the other person? Does it feel good?

I trust this helps and hope my little guide helps you better connect with your potential clients – helping you sell more of course!

Thank you to Len for the inspiration of this article and you for the great read!

Edward Zia – Marketing Mentor and man who adapts heaps to other Humans!



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