Arrogance is Way Better than Low-Confidence, Right?

I’m Not Arrogant – You are Just Inferior to Me!

In many people, I have known, including some of my clients, colleagues (and even myself at times) – it can be an easy trap to bounce from extremes of “Low-Confidence” right through to “Arrogance”.

That is, when one has a low view of themselves, they eat away their energy and motivation through always putting themselves down (be it out loud, or just through their own internal dialogue).  After reaching a real low in themselves, they then go and buy something or “Puff” themselves up to convince themselves into being “Confident”.

In watching such swings, unfortunately the “Confidence” may turn into “Arrogance” which is no fun for anyone!

The poor person who felt bad, “Puffs” themself up, then because people think they are “Arrogant” they get treated differently and then they slide back where they were – hence the cycle repeats itself.

In my own youth I did this quite a bit and it wasn’t till much later that I learnt (firstly the hard way then formally) that when we have a “Poor View” of ourselves and a very low Self-Worth – it’s very easy to enter this “Low Confidence / Arrogance” type of swing.

In some of the great people I work with, when you hear them pour out their soul to you -I sometimes almost tear up in terms of feeling how much they either put themselves down or devalue themselves all the time.  That is, regardless of what they achieve, what they do for their families, how hard they work – they are so used to beating themselves up – they instinctively:

– Say bad things to themselves.

– Like All the Time.

Going into what I cover in my previous posts, when one has low self-esteem (or self-value), you are “Ripe for the Picking” by Cults, dodgy MLM Schemes or anything out there with people that intentionally prey on people with low Self-Esteem

Then ironically, when the person with low Self-Esteem is sucked into these environments, they may become “Arrogant” and do an extremely great job of then preying on other people and so forth.

So is being “Arrogant” better than having “Low-Confidence” – well, I don’t think they are opposing in that many of the so called “Arrogant” people I know have big big issues with their Confidence and Self Esteem (whether they admit it or not).  A good cliche example is the “Napoleon Syndrome”.

What I have found is that when we start “Actually Valuing” ourselves and start catching ourselves for doing the right thing – it starts to build our our Self Confidence / Esteem in positive way.  It makes us feel better, improves performance and even more – we don’t end up becoming arrogant.  This is where too much “Positive Thinking” can get you into a lot of trouble!

In fact, my own personal definition of “Arrogance” is:

– The End Result of trying poorly to “Cover Up” low Self Esteem.

I wish I learnt this one 20 years ago!

[Edward’s Comment some years later – I have seen so many arrogant people and humble people make way more money.  It’s a great thing to watch, the right people succeeding in their own Small Businesses through integrity, skill and honest Sales & Marketing Practices!]

Sex & Sizzle is better than Truth & Substance Right?

There is no substitute for Sex & Sizzle – Yeh, Right. Liar!

I am still thinking about my experience about being shafted by the “Bad-Natured” Multi-Level Marketers the other month.  I know what your thinking, “Ed Just Get Over It”, “Ed build a Bridge and Move on”, “Ed find yourself a hobby or something”.

I can promise you that I am over it – it’s just that it was such an interesting event in terms of the unethical practices and manipulation in the event itself, but also it got me thinking onto the broader thing that I noticed in being a Marketing Manager for a long time now:

– Sex & Sizzle has been used in advertising for no doubt hundreds (probably even thousands of years).

– In fact, Sex & Sizzle can even help sell product when there is little Truth & Substance?

Sex, Sizzle & Hype have obviously been used in Modern Times with extreme levels of intensity and it obviously works.  However, when it’s used to “Replace” substance you can have a big problem.  People aren’t stupid these days.  After years of companies ripping off people, people being sucked into not only dodgy MLM (“Multi-Level Marketing”) schemes but also buying rubbish products (that were really hyped up) – you can’t get away with this type of thing long-term.

One thing I am finding though, is that a lot of companies out there assume that:

– Our Customers are stupid, the Market is Stupid so tell them whatever to just get the sales.

After really reflecting on not just my MLM experience last month of being “Shafted” by some really mean & unethical people, it led me to think that those people probably have the above view of society and the market.

That is, if you “Assume” everyone is stupid, it will lead you to approaching the market very unintelligently.  This kind of unethical rubbish may have worked well in the 80’s, may work well in the short-term – however in many cases this kind of approach just doesn’t last in the long term.

So if you try and nail me on direct question is “Truth & Substance” between the “Sex & Sizzle” – I would answer YES.  However, there is no reason you can have both?

Many people think that there is a “Sea-Saw” balance between Sex & Sizzle Vs Truth & Substance.  This is certainly not the case – in fact, some of the most successful people I know, be it Shop Owners right through to other Business Coaches – they often do both very well.

Such as those dodgy MLM people who unfairly tricked me last month, “Shonks” and people who rip people off – your days are numbered! You may suck some people in, but I have had the unique pleasure of watching these “Sharks” eventually getting what they deserve.

Truth & Substance is #1 – but of course, back it up with some great “Sex, Sizzle or Hype” – nothing wrong with that!  “Positive Thinking” is great, with “Positive & True Substance!”.

Have a great day and I wish I learnt this 20 years ago!